Hidden Memories
by blackirises
Summary: AU.edward left. bella attacked & changed. but what if she and the cullens meet again 10 years later and she doesnt remember her human life? will love conquer all? what is victoria planning? RxR. first fanfic. ON TEMPORARY HIATUS WHILE I EDIT & FINISH
1. Prologue

**This is my first ever fanfiction, so please review. Be brutal...if you think I deserve it. If you like it, I like knowing that, too. Anyways, here goes. Thanks for reading.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon, or any of the charictors except for a few I'll introduce in later chapters. A huge section of the dialogue in this chapter comes straight out of New Moon, so all credit goes to its righful owner, Stephenie Meyer.**

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B.pov

I stumbled along the forest pathway, past ferns and moss-covered trees, tripping often over rocks, roots, and my own two feet. I'm covered in damp earth, scratches, and bruises, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore, or will ever matter again. Edward is gone, and with him, my will to live. Tears burn my eyes and blurr my vision as they pour down my cheeks and onto my kneck. My thin, pale body is wracked with violent sobbing , and I am shaking uncontrollably. My round, puffy eyes are glazed over. I know that I should pay at least a little attention to where I am and how I'm going to get back, but I can't seem to bring myself to care. So I wander, not caring if I ever find my way home. _What does it matter now, anyway? _

_He's gone._

I would have given anything in that moment for the ground to open up where I stood and close over my head, erasing my existance. I can't bear to think or feel. All thoughts lead to memories, and now that he's gone, they're all too painful to endure. For an instant, I wondered what it was that made me so different from other human teenagers. To a normal teen, a breakup wouldn't be the end of the world, not really. Eventually they would move on and be happy with somebody else. Somehow I know I never will be. I'll never recover from this, and I will certainly never be able to love anyone the way I love Edward. The way that, up until a few hours ago, I had thought he loved me.

_He's gone._

As much as I'm hurting right now, I can't bring myself to even wish that my reaction was like that of a normal teenage girl. No matter how much pain I'm in, my time with Edward was worth it. These last few months have been the best of my life, and even though I now know that they were all a lie, and that he never loved me, they always will be. I know that if I had never moved to Forks, I never would have met him, and I wouldn't be feeling this way right now, but as broken as I am without him, I can't regret any of it. I will always be grateful for the time I got to spend with him and his family.

_He's gone._

I will miss all of the Cullens. They have become a second family to me, and I truely love every one of them, even Rosalie, who has always seeemed to loathe me. Carlisle and Esme, Edward's parents, immidiately accepted me and have always made me feel welcome in their home. Alice is my best friend, and has been like a sister to me, while Emmitt is the big brother I have always wanted, but never had. Jasper had keep his distance, since it was harder for him to resist human blood, but I really enjoy having him around. Especially when a sadistic vampire was after me and I would have been in hysterics the entire time if it hadn't been for his unique gift. The beautiful Rosalie has been downright nasty, but I will miss her, too. I will miss all of my would-be family every day of my life, and imagine how wonderful my life could have been if Edward loved me and I could spend the rest of forever with them all.

_He's gone._

I feel like claws are tearing at whats left of my heart, just thinking of what could have been. In this one nightmarish day, I have somehow managed to lose everything that matters to me in life. I've lost the love of my life, the family I've come to love and would have spent eternity with, and the entire future I'd chosen for myself. I've never felt more lost and alone. The prospect of my life looms over me, taunting me and tearing a gasp from my throat. It will be as if I am forever treading water, just trying to keep my head above the water to keep from drowning, though there will never be land in sight, and there will never be a moment where I canrelax and stop swimming. I will know, of course that land exists, just as I know Edward exists, but both will be forever out of my reach. Sinking would be easier, and much more peaceful, but I have to just keep going, though I have nothing left to live for. There's no hope for happiness, and I know that. The best I can do is keep living in an attempt to keep Charlie and Renee from having to feel any of the pain and loss that I am suffering.

_He's gone._

There's no light at the end of my tunnel. I just have to keep walking forever through darkness. Keep treading water with no forseen rescue. The only person who has the power to rescue me never will, and I can't say that I blame him. Him loving me had always seemed too good to be true, and it wasn't fair for him to have to keep rescuing me and pretending to be something he wasn't, constantly endangering himself and his family just to keep me happy. I miss him so much I feel as though I am being torn apart, but if he doesn't want me...

_He's gone._

Of course he doesn't love me! How could I ever have been stupid enough to think he did? Hes so perfect, and I'm just an ordinary, boring, clumsy human who was always slowing him down and needing his protection. I love him and need him with every ounce of my being, but what do I have to offer him. He is an angel, my angel, and now I will never see him again.

_He's gone._

I will miss him desperately, and all the things that I will never again experience flash through my mind with a vengance. I will never again look into his topaz eyes and feel my own glaze over, smelling his sweet breathe in my face as he dazzled me. He will never again climb through my window at night and humm the lulliby he had written me as I drifted off to sleep. He won't stay and listen to me talk in my sleep, or press his cool lips to mine while tracing my jawline or collarbone with thin, pale fingertips. I will never again feel his arms close around me as he stopped me from falling.

_He's gone._

He will never again grin his crooked grin at me at hearing my heartrate speed up for him, or chuckle at my embarassment, as I blush crimson. I want to feel his lips brushing against my hair and his fingertips sliding down my face. I want to feel him next to me when I sleep, and hear the comforting sound of his breathe entering and exiting his marble body. I want to watch him sparkle in the sunlight.

_He's gone._

I had been completely lost in thought and paying no attention to my surroundings, when all of a sudden I heard an evil chuckle behind me, and a icy voice sent shivers down my already shaking body. "My, my, my! What have we here?" I turned, wide-eyed, and looked into a narrowed pair of black-rimmed, glowing red eyes. The vampire's thin lips curled into a malicious smile. I froze, feeling just like I had the time when I was five and ran straight into a table, trying to jump on it, and instead only got the wind knocked out of me. "I must say, this is turning out to be much more conveinient than I had hoped!"

_He's gone._

I just stood there looking at her in shock, completely lost for words. She cocked her head a bit to the left, and looked amused. "Aren't you going to at least try to run away?" She raised an eyebrow expectantly.

_He's gone._

I know that running would be pointless. It's not as if I have any hope of outrunning her, and I'm not entirely sure I want to. I'm not scuicidal. I wouldn't go looking for death, but if it were to come and offer to take me, would it really be all that wrong to give into it? Why should I spend so much energy trying to get away when I didn't really want to live anymore anyways. Honestly, I didn't even care if it was painful. All physical pain could do now is distract me from the emotional, and I needed distractions!

_He's gone._

So I just stood there for a moment looking at her, her glaring back. Her eyes went back to their narrow shape, and her lips pressed into a thin line. She was annoyed, probably because I wasn't running yet, and she liked to play with her food before devouring it. "What is it?" She hissed at me. "Where's your precious Edward now?"

_He's gone._

The mention of his name tore the breathe from my lungs and made me feel as though something was reaching between my ribs and pulling me apart. Hunched over in pain, I couldn't seem to breathe, and I felt as though the giant hole in chest was raw and bleeding while someone stretched it. And thats how I got here, curled into a ball on the forest floor, looking up into the red eyes of the monster. Her claws sank into the flesh of my arms, and she was immidiately pulling me up and pinning me painfully to a tree. I couldn't analyse the look on her face, it was changing so rapidly, but she seemed to be calculating. "So its true then. He really did leave." Her expression changed to one of amusement. _How does she know? No one knows yet._ "That was unexpected. Especially after last spring. I was sure he was in love with you, a stupid human. But if he really did leave, I have to rethink my plans.

_Edward, I miss you so much._

She gave me a final shove before releasing me to pace in front of me. Every few seconds her head shot over to look at me, and I recognised the look on her face. She was plotting, but why? What plans did she need to rethink? Was she not going to kill me now? Even if Edward and I aren't together anymore, I am still the insignificant human he killed James over. She suddenly turned to look at me, and there was a malicious glint in her eyes. That thin, chillingly beautiful face curled once again into a smile. I am not afraid to die, but something in her expression told me that she had something else in mind. A pang of terror shot through me. What was she going to do? _Just kill me now and get it over with! Please, please just kill me. I don't want to be a part of one of your sadistic plots. _

_I'm never going to see him again._

In an instant she was pinning me once more to the tree. "Don't worry, Isabella, I'm not going to kill you...yet." Did she not realise I'm not afraid to die? Edward always said I had no sense of self-preservation, and now I really don't, but I still want to know what she meant by _yet._

I groaned and looked her pleadingly in the eye. "Please just get it over with," I begged in a whisper. "I'm not afraid."

"No, no, Isabella. I'm sure you _would_ like me to simply get it over with, but you're much too important to my plans for me to just kill you." She laughed again, causing goosebumps to spring up all over my body.

"Plans?" I barely whispered it, but I knew her vampire ears would pick it up with ease.

"Yes, Isabella," she explained slowly, as if I wouldn't be able to understand her. "I will have my revenge, but killing you doesn't do any good if Edward isn't here to know about it. Even if he were to find out somehow, I want him to know that _I_ killed you. He took James from me, so I will take you from him, and he will always know that you are dead because of him!"

Before I could say anything, she bent toward my kneck, and I felt her sharp teeth pierce my skin. She stepped back while I fell into a heap on the forest floor, and when I looked at her, eyes wide, I saw that she was smiling from ear to ear. _I don't understand._ She touched my face with her cold fingertips, and a shudder ran through my body. Then, the pain started. It was like fire was being shot through my viens, causing me to writhe in agony on the damp ground. My own screams filled my ears, but there was no escape. In all the times I had imagined becoming a vampire, I had never pictured it being like this. I had always thought that becoming a vampire would ensure that I could be with Edward forever, and that he would be there holding me through the pain. Instead Victoria stood over me, and had the pain not been so intense, I would have been screaming at her in frustration and confusion. _What does this have to do with anything!!!!_ The pain was consuming me. _I don't understand how this is supposed to help you achieve revenge! All its going to do is force me to live for an __eternity__ rather than a lifetime with the pain from not being able to be with Edward._

Just then, when I thought that the pain couldn't get any worse, my worst memory flashed before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do but watch in horror. The forest around me disappeared, and instead I saw Edward as we got to my house, and he said those fateful words: "We need to talk."

Flashback

I had been worried for days, ever since my eighteenth birthday when his brother Jasper had nearly attacked me, but his words brought a fresh wave of dread over me. I walked with him to the opening of the forest trail by my house, where he turned abruptly to face me and leaned against a tree. He looked like a Greek god standing there, but the warmth that was usually in his eyes were gone, and my anxiety deepened. His face was cold and blank, and revealed nothing to me, but I tried to mask my fear and sound brave as I spoke. "Okay, lets talk."

_No! Please don't make me see it again!_

He looked down at me, again, his face revealed nothing as he said, "Bella, we're leaving."

The physical pain of the change was nothing to the feeling in my chest when I saw that moment in my mind. Nothing to my mind conjuring up images of his perfection and showing them to me, as if to pull my emotional wounds wider still.

I had seen this coming. One night after he had started to act moody and distant, I had sat in my kitchen and thought about what it could be, and what the worst thing I could handle would be. I wasn't ready to leave, but I could handle it. It would just be so much easier if we waited a bit. I took a deep breathe, and began, "Why now? Another year---"

But I didn't finish, Edward, still expressionless, cut me off, saying, "Bella, its time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all?" Suddenly, the meaning behind his words hit me. He was saying that his family had to leave. "Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thiry-three now. We would have to start over soon regardless."

I looked up at him, and my face must have showed the shock I was feeling, but he only looked emotionlessly back at me. He wasn't telling me that it was time for _us_ to leave, he letting me know that he and his family would be leaving. I already knew the answer, but I had to ask. I somehow managed to breathlessly whisper, "When you say we---"

"I mean my family and myself."

I suddenly understood his moodiness. He was upset because he thougth that he was going to have to leave without me. He was worried that I wouldn't want to go with him, that I would want to stay here in Forks. Wasn't he listening all those times that I told him he was my life. Didn't he think that if I was willing to give up my humanity to be with him forever I was willing to leave Forks with him and his family. Of course, preferably we could wait until graduation so Charlie wouldn't be suspicious, but if he was leaving, so was I. "Okay," I said, totally calm now. There was nothing to think about. "I'll come with you."

"You can't Bella," he started. "Where we're going...Its not the right place for you." Confusion swept over me. How could it not be the right place for me? He was being riddiculous.

"Where you are is the right place for me." How could he not already know that?

"I'm no good for you Bella." _What!_ Is that what this was about again? How could he think that? I loved him! I needed him! He was my life!

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the best part of my life." There was nothing more true to me in the world. I hadn't known true happiness until I met Edward. My world revolved around him, and I would love him forever.

"My world is not for you." I felt my eyes grow wide. I wanted nothing more than to be a part of his world, and I was, quite frankly getting tired of him calling himself a monster and saying that he was always putting me in danger. If it weren't for him, there is no way I would be here today. He had saved my life countless times, and I didn't care about the danger. It was all worth it. Was he leaving because of what happened with Jasper? That must be it. But it wasn't that big of a deal! I was fine!

"What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" I was beginning to get a bit desperate. How could he think he could leave me over something as stupid as that! I was perfectly fine. I wasn't even angry with Jasper!

"You're right it was exactly what was to be expected." The anxiety I had been feeling was growing again. He was really going to leave me over this! I knew that this was adzactly the sort of thing that he feared the most. The fact that he and his family were vampires was putting me into danger, but he couldn't leave! And there wouldn't be any danger if he'd just change me! I was nearing hysterical. I had to get him to stay, and I was grasping at straws.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-" I was desperate, but he cut me off again.

"As long as that was best for you," He was really going to leave me! How could he be so calm when I was falling apart at the very thought! What was it with him thinking he wasn't best for me? I suddenly remembered the conversation Carlisle and I had the other night as he stitched up my arm.

"No! This is about my soul isn't it?" How he could believe he and his family had lost their souls was beyond me. Of course he still had a soul, and I don't care what happens to mine as long as I could be with him. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you--it's yours already." What was a soul without him? I know he was worried about my afterlife. He wanted me to go to heaven, but I could never be happy in heaven if he wasn't there with me. Plus, I couldn't agree with his ideas of eternal damnation for something he had no control over anyway. Any god that would damn people as wonderful as the Cullens, who fought their instincts every day to not kill, I didn't want to have anything to do with. God had to be more forgiving than that.

I tried to read his reaction, but his face was still blank, he glanced down at the ground for a moment, then said the words that would haunt me forever. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." My breathe stopped, and I felt as though someone had just kicked me in the gut. I could only think of one reason why he wouldn't want me to come with him. He really didn't want me? He didn't love me? I had to make sure I understood him correctly.

"You...dont...want...me?" I hoped desperately that I was wrong! _Please tell me that wasn't what you meant! Please_. Before I even finished my question, I was screaming inside. The agony was amazing, and I felt like someone had punched a hole in my chest. I knew that one word from him could tear my heart and my life to pieces. I waited breathlessly for his answer, praying it wasn't what I thought it was.

"No."

As predicted, in an instant my heart shattered into a thousand tiny, irreparable shards that continued to tear up the rest of my insides until there was nothing left of my chest but a giant, raw and bleeding hole that was being slowly filled with more than pain than she had thought possible for a person to feel, let alone endure. My world was crumbling, my heart was broken, but I tried to seem calm as I spoke. "Well that changes things." I was suddenly out of arguments. If he didn't love me anymore, what could I do but let him go? My heart was racing, and all I could do was stare at him in horror. He glanced away from me, looking into the trees, and I suddenly realized why he had been so expressionless. He wasn't trying to hide his feelings from me, he wasn't worried, he just didn't love me anymore.

"Of course, I'll always love you...in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize it's time for a change. Because I'm...tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human." I felt like I couldn't breathe. My world was falling apart. Nothing could have torn me up more inside. Edward was leaving. He didn't love me anymore. "I've let this go on far too long, and I'm sorry for that."

His words cut through me even more, if that was possible. Not only did he not love me, but he regretted the time he had spent with me. I was a mistake. I couldn't bear to see him leave and know he was never coming back. I just wanted this all to be a nightmare, or some kind of sick joke. I was inwardly _begging_ that was all it was, and I would soon wake up in my bed to Edward holding me and whispering that everything was okay, he was right there.

"Don't. Don't do this."

"You're not good for me, Bella." It was true. I wasn't good for him, but hearing him say it cut deep. He was so perfect, an angel, and I wasn't. I was ordinary, clumsy, and boring. He could do much better than me, but I wanted so desperately for him to stay. I had always known he was too good for me, but that didn't keep me from needing him. I needed him like I had never known it possible to need someone. He had become my very existance, and without him, life meant nothing.

"If that's what you want."

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if its not too much." I looked up at him, and he was looking intensely back at me. I felt just the tiniest spark of hope ignite in me, and I knew I would do whatever it was he asked me. I could hardly speak.

"Anything."

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I only nodded. He returned to his cool, blank face when he said, "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself---for him."

My heart was sinking lower and lower with each passing moment, with each breathe and every word. He didn't love me. He didn't even care about me. He just wanted me to not do anything rash for Charlie's sake.

"I will make a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I wont come back. I won't put you through anything like this again." But I wanted to see him. I wanted to see him each and every moment of my life.

"You can go on with your life without anymore interferance from me." That isn't what I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted him to interfere as much as possible.

"It will be as if I never existed." That wasn't possible, and I would never want it to be. He was the most precious thing in my world. The thought of him not existing, or me not being sure if any of this had been real, was the only thing in the world that could possibly be worse than him leaving.

He smiled and continued. "Don't worry. You're human----your memory is no more than a seive. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

My heart was racing. My knees were shaking. I didn't ever want to forget him. I didn't want the memories to slip away. I wanted to hold tightly to them forever like the precious treasures they were. Would he forget me? Would his memories slip away? Was that what he was saying? Would he someday look back on this period of his life and think 'who was that girl again?' I asked, "And your memories?"

"Well...I won't forget. But my kind...We're easily distracted." Distracted? What was that supposed to mean? Did he mean other women? Other vampire women? Of course, a vampire would be much better for him than I could be. A vampire could spend forever with him and take care of herself without needing to be protected all of the time. A vampire woman would be more interesting than me, more beautiful than me, and more graceful than me. I couldn't even compete.

"That's everything I suppose. We won't bother you again." We?

"Alice isn't coming back?" I couldn't stand that I wouldn't get to talk to Alice again. She was my best friend, and now I couldn't even talk to her when my world was falling apart?

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" I couldn't believe she was already gone. I needed her now more than anything, and not only could I not talk to her about any of this, but I wouldn't get to tell her goodbye.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." A clean break. Is that what this was supposed to be? Nothing about it seemed to be clean to me. My mind and heart were in chaos, my chest was being ripped in two. I felt like letting him leave would kill me, but there was nothing I could do to make him stay.

"Goodbye, Bella."

I didn't think more pain was possible, but with those words, I felt a fresh wave close over my head, and I couldn't stop myself from what I was about to do. "Wait," I hardly got out, as I reached for him. For a split second I thought he was reaching back for me, before I realized he was just moving to gently pin my arms by my sides. That was painful. That was the first time he had ever rejected me, and I realized he didn't even want me to touch him. I wondered if he could see my heart breaking in my eyes, or if he really thought I was going to be okay, and the memories would fade. He leaned foreward and placed one last peck on my forhead, saying, "Take care of yourself." I closed my eyes, and knew that would be the last time I felt his cool lips on my skin. When I opened them, he was gone, and a storm rushed through me.

I knew that I should just go home. We were just on the opening to the path, but I couldn't stand to do that. I ran after him, though of course there was no hope of ever catching up. I wasn't using logic anymore as I ran through the forest, paying little attention to where I was going, shouting his name and sobbing. "Edward!"

I end flashback

For a moment, the memories stopped, and I was back in the present. I found myself starring, screaming up into the cold red eyes that were Victoria's, and I noticed that she was talking. "You're really lucky I found you, you know. The change will help you to forget most of your human life. Especially the painful parts." She laughed. "Not that I care, of course, but it will make my plans just that much easier."

I don't know what she meant by her plan, but I do know that I never want to forget, no matter how painful the memories. Perhaps Edward was right and human memories really do fade, which would make them all but dissappear when the change is complete, but I will do everything in my power to never forget. I don't ever want to forget one single moment I spent with him, or how much I love him. Edward was special. So special, I had known from the beginning that there was no way that this angel was meant for me. I knew it was masochistic, but in that moment, I made a oath, though only the silent trees heard me. I swore that as long as I lived, I would always love Edward, and no one else. Not in that way. I also swore to remember. The memories were brutal, but the thought that the day might come when I couldn't remember his crooked grin or the way his arms felt around me was excruciating.

So with a newfound determination, I watched the memories of my life slide by. For a few moments, I watched my childhood, but the memories of Edward and the Cullens stood out the most. I could see him at that table accross the caffiteria on that first day, and the hate in his black irises on the first day of Biology. I could see him telling me his secret as he drove me home from Port Angeles, and sparkling in the sun in the meadow. I relived our first kiss and the first time he introduced me to his family, but after a while, I began to realize that as I moved from one memory to the next, everything became less and less clear. I tried to focus on them, both to distract from the severe pain and to try to hold on to my memories, but they were like water in my cupped hands, and I could feel them slipping away, no matter how hard I tried to hold on.

A thousand images of Edward flashed before my eyes, and I could see my love and happiness reflecting in his. It was then that I realized what I should have known all along: he was every bit as in love with me as I was with him. He only told me he didn't love me, but why?

The memory of one of our conversations took that moment to flash before my eyes. He was warning me, once again, to stay away from him, that he was dangerous. Of course. He was trying to protect me again. He thought he was a danger to me. He thought that by staying out of my life, he was keeping me safe. He still loved me, and always would, just as I would always love him. He was in just as much pain as I was right now, knowing he would never see me again, but enduring it in the hope that I would move on and be happy without him. Did he really think that was possible? Didn't he realize how much I loved him? How much I needed him?

Knowing that he loved me afterall was a comfort. I wouldn't have to live forever without him, after all. When I woke up, I would be a vampire, and I could search forever for him. Then a realization hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind of me. I could feel my memories slipping away by the moment, and I knew they would be gone by the time I woke. I was desperate to hold on. Desperate to stay awake throughout the change.

I need to remember, but everything is going black, and I know that when I wake up, I'll be a vampire and I won't have the love of my life there with me. Already the memories are getting fuzzy, but I can't seem to call them back. I can feel myself falling through black water, but try as I might to kick to the surface, I just continue to be submerged in the fire of the change. I'm slipping into the darkness, and I know that when I wake up all of this will be gone, but I can only hope that I will somehow manage to retrieve it someday.

_Goodbye, Edward. I love you._


	2. I Dont Know

**Here's chapter one. I decided to post the first three chapters together, since it doesn't really get to the main plot till then, so the disclaimer on this chapter applied to chapters 1-3, or 2-4 according to the chapter guide, since the prologue counts as ch 1 there. Anyways...**

**This is my first ever fanfiction, so please review. Be brutal...if you think I deserve it. If you like it, I like knowing that, too. Anyways, here goes. Thanks for reading.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon, or any of the charictors except for Evangeline, Roan, Ash, Holly, and Basil. All credit goes to its righful owner, Stephenie Meyer. I'm just a simple fan who happens to LOVE bella, edward, and the rest of the cullen crew. enjoy.**

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Bella's point of view

It was two o'clock in the morning, and I sat alone in an attic that had been converted into a bedroom for me. The walls were painted alternating shades of blue and topaz, and the walls were covered in pictures and paintings that I had produced in an attempt to capture the visions and flashes I sometimes got onto paper. The two walls in the room that weren't occupied by either my bed, door, closet, or windows were covered from floor to ceiling in bookshelves, stacked high with my favorite authors, as well as notebooks I had filled over the years. In the corner was a comforitable reading chair and a small desk, well-stocked with blank notebooks, pens, paper, and painting supplies.

I looked over at the clock and noted the time. It was morning, which meant it was now September 19, and the ten year anniversary of the day that I woke up in the Matthews's home and discovered that I had become a vampire. It was the earliest memory I had.

_flashback _

_Darkness seemed to swirl around me, and my thoughts were light and dreamlike. It was hard to concentrate, but the mists were clearing, and I could faintly hear voices in the distance. I slowly became aware of my body, which felt stiff and weighted down. My breath was coming out slow and heavy, and as soon as I realized I had been asleep, my eyes flicked open. _

_I didn't move for a moment, then I sat up suddenly and looked around. At the foot of the bed was a door, and on the wall next to that were two large, closet doors. The window was open and a breeze brought the heavenly scent of jasmine. I inhaled deeply, and watched the lace curtains blow peacefully in the cool, september wind. The room was painted a neutral tan, with white baseboards carved with an inlaid pattern of roses. The furnature in the room were all made of dark, natural woods, and looked like they may have been antiques. Another door in the room stood slightly ajar, and I could see just enough to tell that it lead to a bathroom. There was a large, floor length mirror in one corner, and I slowly stood up and walked cautiously over to look into _

_it. _

_The girl looking back at me had thick, chocolate brown hair that waved gently to the middle of her back, and thickly lashed, glowing red eyes. Her perfectly formed face was pale, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She was thin, an average height, and perfectly built. There were curves in all the right places, and her skin glowed flawlessly. I didn't recognise her, but when I tried to think of what I would normally see in a mirror, nothing came to mind. I slowly reached up and brushed the glass with thin, pale fingers, hardly believing this could be me. _

_I turned my head suddenly to the sound of voices. No one was in the room with me, but it sounded as if whoever was speaking stood right beside me. My brow furrowed in confusion, and I lowered my hand from the mirror and tuned to stare at the closed door. It looked thick enough. Why could I still hear others talking? _

_"She should be waking up soon," I heard a female voice say. "Today, I'm sure. Ash, did you finish getting her room ready?" _

_"Of course, Evangeline," the one called Ash replied. "Hey, you don't think she has a boyfriend, do you?" _

_Another girl laughed. "Ash, you haven't even talked to her yet! You can't possibly already be planning to ask her out!" _

_"Shut up, Holly!" _

_"I'm just saying, she's probably not going to want you asking her out the moment she gets up." _

_"I'd say, even if she did have a boyfriend, it wouldn't really matter. Human vampire relationships don't work, and she'll won't be able to go back anyway. At least not while people she knew are still alive. They'd be sure to recognise her, and notice the difference." This was said by another male, and was followed by a brief pause. "Not that Ash should be concerned with her relationship status just now. She's a new vampire...so whether or not she has a boyfriend should be the least of her worries. She certainly won't need any furthur complications for the time being." _

_Ash ignored him. "So she'll be staying with us then, right?" _

_"Well, that depends entirely on what she wants to do, although I think it would probably be easier for her if we helped her out," the first voice, Evangeline, spoke again. _

_"I wonder who bit her," Holly quietly questioned. "And to just leave her there...Alone in the woods! Anything could have happened to her during the transformation. She would have woken up all alone." Her voice was thick with sympathy. _

_"Its a good thing Olivia found her and brought her here," A third male voice I hadn't heard before added. _

_"Oh, Basil! I wonder how she'll take it. Its going to be horrible! All of us had lost everyone when we were changed, except for Roan and Evangeline, and they had eachother." _

_"Yes, we were all very lucky, considering," Roan said. _

_"Extremely," Evangeline added. "I can't imagine having to leave everyone behind and never even say goodbye. Poor thing." _

_"Whoever changed her must have done it on purpose. Its not easy to bite someone and not kill them. Why bother just to leave her there? Why take her life away just to leave her on the forest floor? It doesn't make any sense." _

_As interesting as it was trying to decode their conversation, I was getting impatient, so I cleared my throat loadly. For a moment there was silence, then the door swung quickly open, revealing five absurdly pale, beautiful faces starring into mine. I bit my lip nervously, and one of the girls smiled and stepped forward. She was tall and willowy, and had the perfect modle build, though it looked natural on her, rather than starved. Her thick, jet black hair fell in soft curls to her hips, and her lips were cherry red without needing lipstick. She wore red and black, which looked stunning on her, and appeared to be around nineteen or twenty. _

_"Hello," she sang as she pulled me into an unexpected hug. "I'm Evangeline. This is my husband, Roan," she pointed to a tall man with brown hair, drowsy eyes, and a long straight nose. Everything about him looked long and lean, and he appeared to be in his early twenties. "Holly and Basil," her hand gestured toward a couple standing in the doorway. The man had light brown hair and thickly lashed eyes. One of his muscular arms was wrapped around the waist of a red-headed girl, who was also smiling at me, with the most amazingly green eyes I had ever seen. They looked like twin emeralds, sparkling with joy. Her face was freckled, and she was rather short and strong looking. "And Ash." It was obviouse where Ash got his name from. He had beautiful, ashy hair that fell into his eyes. His face still looked a little boyish, with a rounded nose and cheeks, but he looked to be in his late teens. He peared out from behind Holly and Basil, craning his kneck to get a better look at me, before shooting me a wide grin and pushing through them to come into the room. All of them, except Holly, had red eyes over bruise-like shadows. "And who are you?" _

_My eyes had been roaming to each of them in turn as Evangeline introduced each of them, but at her question, I turned my attention back to her. I thought for a moment, expecting something to come to mind, but nothing did. I bit down on my lip and my eyebrows squeezed together in confusion. _I should know this_, I thought. I closed my eyes and drowned everything out, trying to remember my name. _

_Nothing. _

_My eyes opened wide, and I starred in horror at the faces around me. "I-I don't know!" _

_end flashback _


	3. Buffy

Bella's pov

I sat cross-legged on my bed remembering that day ten years ago when I had awoken from three days of the worst agony to realize I had no past. I took a deep breath, and the day's events flooded back to me.

_ flashback _

_My eyes were big like a doe's, and my mouth hung slightly open as I looked into the five faces around me. Pain crashed against my chest, and I thought frantically, searching for a memory...any memory that could tell me who I was or what I was doing here._

_Nothing._

_The girls seemed to notice my distress immdiately and rushed forward to comfort me. Evangeline put an arm around my shoulders, and Holly hugged me to her. "Don't worry," she murmured into my ear. "Everything's going to be just fine." I vaguely noticed that my legs were no longer holding me up, and Evangeline and Holly were effortlessly leading me to sit on the edge of the bed. They took their seats on either side of me, while Roan and Ash leaned against the wall. Basil dragged a chair over from the vanity and sat down, leaning foreward and gazing intently at me._

_"Why can't I remember?"_

_Evangeline looked at Roan, and Holly continued to hug me, gently rubbing my arm. Roan was staring at Evangeline, as if he was waiting for something. She nodded, and he turned his attention to me. His red eyes held mine, and finally, he spoke. "You were attacked by a vampire." My eyebrows rose, and reading the disbelief in my face, he held his hands up and said, "Please allow me to continue. I promise everything will make more sense when I'm finished." I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips, then nodded for him to continue._

_"As hard as it is to believe, vampires do exist. All of us are vampires. A coven, though we like to think of ourselves more like a family. Notice the similarities. We all have pale skin, red eyes, dark shadows underneath... " Holly cleared her throat, causing Roan to roll his eyes dramatically. "Fine, Holly has green eyes, but that's quite unusual, and an entirely different story."_

_I looked over at Holly, and she smiled reassuringly. I gave a weak smile in return, and turned back to Roan. He cocked his head and continued, "We don't know who changed you. All we know is that an old friend of ours, Olivia, was travelling through the forest when she smelled another vampire. Curious, she followed the scent until she came upon you. Whoever bit you had just left, and your transformation had just begun. She was on her way somewhere important, but she felt bad leaving you there all by yourself, and she knew we lived nearby, so she took you to us." He took a deep breath. "We were all gone at the time. Except for Ash. He took care of you for two days, and explained everything to us when we got back today." I looked over to Ash, who was still smiling at me, then returned my attention to Roan._

_"As Basil brought up right before we came in here, the change is quite difficult to accomplish, so whoever did this to you did it on purpose. You see, once a vampire begins to drink from someone, it takes a good deal of self control to stop before killing them. We wish we could tell you why someone would go through all the trouble just to leave you there, but we have no idea. We only know that they took off soon after."_

_"Being a vampire, you now have super speed and strength. You could easily outrun a car, or lift it over your head for that matter. Your body temperature is now very low, for truthfully, we are dead...the living dead. You can no longer sleep, or eat human food. Like the myths, you will have to drink blood, though not very often. Vampires only have to feed approximately once a month. We preffer to travel somewhere when we have to eat, so that people in the area don't get suspicious for a while, and we can stay in one place for a while."_

_I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and yet it all seemed so familiar..._

_"You are immortal, and will look just as you do now for the rest of all eternity. Vampires are nearly indestructable, and to destroy one of us, someone would have to literally tear us to shreds and burn the pieces. Its quite difficult, and as far as I know, only werewolves and other vampires can accomplish it. All the stories about stakes and silver bullets are false. It is true that we can't go out in the sunlight in front of humans, but not because we'll be burned. Our skin is different than that of humans. Its much harder, and sparkles in the sun. That's why we like to live in towns where the whether is nearly always overcast." I was hyperventilating now, but to my surprise, he smiled. "You can do that as much as you want now...You won't pass out. Vampires don't need to breathe, though it comes in handy. Your sense of smell should be magnified as well."_

_I looked around at everyone, hardly daring to believe what I was hearing. They were all looking back at me, sympathy written all over their faces. I couldn't be a vampire! Could I? I thought for a moment, and realized my senses were unusually sensitive. Before they had all come into the room, I had been able to hear them all perfectly clearly, though the door was closed. I could clearly smell the jasmine and other scents as they drifted through the window on the breeze. I could smell each of them, and my eyesight seemed to pick up each detail, _

_making the world more vivid than it was meant to be._

_Wait! I thought. How could I know there's anything different about my senses now? I don't even remember being human! I shouldn't have been able to tell the difference, but somehow I could. I didn't remember my life, but I knew things. Was this what it was like for people with amnesia? Did they know basic things like what summer was and the sound of rain hitting a roof, even if they couldn't tell you their own names, or had no idea how old they were?_

_I looked up from my thoughts, and asked, "If I was attaked days ago, why did I just now wake up?"_

_This time Evangeline answered me. "The change takes three days. When a vampire attacks, their mouth fills with venom. It makes things easier, because the prey is in too much pain to try to fight, not that they're stong enough to fight us off anyway. However, since whoever bit you didn't kill you, their venom worked its way through your bloodstream, gradually changing you. When the venom finally reached your heart, it stopped beating, and the transformation was complete."_

_"Is that how it was for all of you?"_

_Basil cringed. "Yes. It was incredibly painful. The most vivid memory I have of my human life."_

_"I don't remember any pain. And why don't I remember any of __**my**__ human life? You all rememeber yours, right?"_

_"Barely, but yes," Roan answered._

_"We all have some memories, but human memories fade, especailly when you're changed. Some vampires rememeber more than others," Basil continued. "none of us remembers much. And what little we can remember, is fuzzy."_

_"We have no idea why you can't remember anything, but be patient," Evangeline advised. "it may come back to you."_

_"We all had someone to remind us," Holly added. "Evangeline and Roan were changed together. They were married as humans, back in the seventeenth century. Evangeline changed me, and though I didn't know her well as a human, she was a familiar face. Both Basil and Ash were around humans they knew when they woke up. They had to leave immidiately, of course, but not before they recongnised people they had known. You don't have anything to remind you of being human. That may be the problem. I wouldn't be surprised if it just took you a little longer."_

_I smiled hopefully, then hugged my knees to me. Evangeline sensed that I needed to be alone. "Here, let me take you to your room. You're welcome to stay with us as long as you want, and we'd love it if you'd join our family."_

_I looked around, and everyone was nodding in agreement, showing me that they wanted me, too. I didn't know what to say! Here I was, all alone, they hardly knew me, yet they were already offering to let me be a part of thier family. i'm sure I would have cried, but the tears didn't come. Instead, I threw my arms around Evangeline, then Holly. They smiled, and we stood up. Basil stood up as well, and Roan and Ash stopped leaning against the wall. I hugged all of them as well, then Evangeline and Holly grabbed my arms and led me out of the room and up the stairs and throught a door._

_After that, they left me alone for a while to think. My room was beautiful., and I could smell the fresh paint job. They had really outdone themselves, but I was too grateful for words. So why did I feel like something vital was missing? I sat at my desk with my head in my hands, trying to sort through my feelings. Trying to remember..._

_nothing._

_ end flashback _

Since that day ten years ago, the Matthews had been my family in every way that mattered. They were always there when I needed them, supporting me through the hardest of times, and helping me in my search for my past. They helped me as I shuffled through thousands of missing persons pictures, looking for one that may have been me. We never found anything, of course, but the point is that they helped.

When I needed to feed, and refused to drink from humans, they worried about me, as any family would. They told me that they hated to kill as well, but they saw no alternatives, and if I didn't drink soon, I would go mad and be likely to slaughter far more humans than if I just drank when I became thirsty. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take the life of an innocent just to feed myself, and when it occured to me to try drinking from animals, they had been skeptical, not knowing if it would even work, but they had been at my side trying it out. They agreed that it was a good idea, and could tell how important it was to me. It was difficult for them. Even more difficult than it was for me. After all, they had been feeding off of humans for decades, centuries in the case of Evangeline, Roan, and Holly, but they did it, and within time, it was even bearable to be around humans.

Being to be around humans made everything so much easier. Before, the Matthews had only been able to stay in any given place for a short period of time. They always found houses with plenty of property so they didn't have to deal with neighbors, but such places could only be found in small towns, where people would be sure to eventually notice that no one in the family ever spoke to anyone else. After a time, some smart human would notice that after we moved to an area, disappearances increased (though none of them actually happened in whichever town we lived in), and they happened rather regularly. Each month, adzactly five people would dissappear, never to be seen again. They would also wonder how a family of five coud manage to live so extravagantly when none of them worked, and the time would come to move again to a town very similar to the one they had just left.

Things weren't much better at first. Even though we were hunting animals and no one noticed strange dissappearances, we still couldn't be around humans. It took about four years, but we were finally all ready to be around humans. The sweet smell of their blood still tempted us, but we had learned a self control that we had never imagined we could develope. Roan whent to work as a psychologist, and the rest of us enrolled in high school.

We now live in Washington, in a small town called Silverdale. Its perfect for us. We have a beautiful home on a large piece of property, and its overcast most of the time. Its also near Seattle, where Roan can work without drawing too much attention to us.

We never stayed in any one place for more than four years. We coud probably get away with five, maybe six, but we thought it best not to stretch our luck. Eventually, someone would notice that none of us ever aged, and we'd preffer to be gone before that could happen. We had been in Silverdale for a few months over two years now, and after the last of us graduated, it would be time to move on again. When we first arrived here, Holly, Ash and I had posed as freshman at the junior high (high school here was 10th through 12th grade) making us juniors now, and Evangeline and Basil a year ahead of us, making them seniors.

Of course, none of us really looked like we could be freshmen or sophomores, except maybe Ash, but the younger we pretended to be, the longer we could stay in one place. I was working on my third diploma, or fourth, depending on if I had gotten one as a human, while the others all had atleast twelve. Evangeline had been to college several times as well, but for the most part, we all preffered to continue our education on our own. We all looked to young to actually **do** anything with a college education, and having so much extra time on our hands, what with being immortal and never needing sleep, we found plenty of time to study on our own. I for one had read hundreds of books in only several years, and mastered Italian. Don't ask me why I chose Italian over Spanish or French. I have no clue, but I was immidiately drawn to it, and want to travel to Italy someday. **(a/n: of course, in my story, she never whent to Italy to save Edward, but if you remember, in New Moon they talked about Edward's plan while watching Romeo and Juliet. Also, that was one of their last real conversations, since after her party, he was really distant. Thats why she was drawn to Italian. That, and, I'm trying to learn it myself.) **

"Buffy!" someone yelled, cutting through my thoughts. "Its time to get ready for school!"

flashback

I still couldn't remember my name, so after three days of not knowing what to call me, Basil suggested we simply make a name up. I had been hesitant. I still hoped I would rememeber, and I didn't want to have to deal with the confusion when we did find out, of changing it back. The fact remained though, that they did need to call me something. It had started as a joke. Everyone laughed, and thought of riddiculous names they could call me.

"How about Cocoa?" Holly asked. "Cocoa, with her chocolate brown hair!"

"Cocoa sounds like a stripper name!" laughs

"How about Amnesia!" Basil laughed. "It suites her."

"Or Anastasia," Holly suggested. "Wasn't that the Russian princess who got amnesia in the disney movie?"

"Juliet," Basil added. "She's obsessed enough with the movie."

"Zoey," Ash smiled, finally joining the conversation that he, Evangeline and Roan had just been watching with amusement, and me with a mixture of curiousity and horror.

There was a long, awkward silence in which everyone looked at Ash, waiting for his reason. After a moment, when it didn't look as if he was going to explain himself, Basil's eyebrows rose, and he questioned, "why?"

"I dunno," Ash answered, shrugging lightly, not the least embarrassed. "I just like the name Zoey."

"Buffy," Evangeline said quietly with a tone of finality. "Like Buffy the vampire slayer." Suddently her face broke into a smile, as though she had been hiding it all along. Everyone laughed suddenly, including me.

"You know," Roan mused, "I really like it. You may not slay vampires, but you did change **our** eating habits."

I rolled my eyes. Everyone else was laughing uncontrollably, when I suddenly noticed the time. "If you guys think you can calm down long enough, its time to go!"

From that day on, everyone called me Buffy, at first only jokingly, but after a while, it was just my name. I still hoped I would one day remember everything, but until then, they did need to call me something. And going to school wouldn't have worked without a name.

end flashback

Evangeline calling my name cut through my thoughts, and I quickly got up from starring at the ceiling to get dressed and showered. Just another normal day at Kitspap High. It wasn't something I looked foreward to. High school was even more boring for us vampires, since we had been through it several times. We all knew the material better than the teachers teaching us, but it was prefferable to living in seclusion and feeding off of humans. With our super hearing, we could mumble to eachother, even if we weren't in the same room, and no one else would be able to hear us. Of course none of us paid attention anymore What good would it do. Vampires also had perfect memory, so we didn't forget anything we had learned, and review was pointless.

I went to my closet, grabbed jeans and a long sleaved, dark blue shirt (most of my shirts were this shade. For some reason everytime I saw a shirt in that color, I had to buy it) and ran vampire speed to my bathroom. I had it all to myself, though Evangeline took it upon herself to stock mine as well as Holly's with every toiletry item we could possibly need and more we would never use. I quickly showered and combed through my hair. As a vampire, it didn't need any styling. It would naturally dry in perfect waves down my back, so I grabbed my books, and rushed down the stairs where my family was waiting for me.

Roan was leaning against the wall in the entryway, wearing brown pants, a sweater shirt, and glasses he didn't need, but insisted made him look older and more like a psychologist. Evangeline was snuggled against his chest, wearing dickies and a red, long sleaved v-kneck that looked amazing with her pale skin and black hair. She turned her head for just a moment to smile at me before burrying it into her husband once again. Holly stood a little to the side of me, looking casually stunning in a baseball T, baggy green pants, and converse high tops. Basil stood behind her, head on her shoulder and arms around her waist. His pants were loose, and there was a black long sleeved shirt under his t-shirt. None of us would get cold, but wearing summer clothing in September would call a lot of attention to us. Ash leaned against the banister to the staircase, smiling at me. Today he was sporting the skater look, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if he changed his mind again tomorrow. While the rest of my family dressed rather similarly from day to day, expressing a lot about themselves, Roan intelligent, Evangeline intense, Holly freespirited and casual, and Basil laid-back, Ash constantly changed his style, as if he wasn't sure yet where he fit in, or who he wanted to be.

I smiled warily back. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what was going through his head. I loved Ash, but like a brother and a friend, and he always wanted to be more. I had hoped in vain for years that one of the many girls he flirted with would become a serious girlfriend, and he would forget about his silly crush on me, but Ash was the same with girls as he was with his styles, and he went from one to the next, thinking each time that this time would be different, this was the style for him, this was the girl for him. Of course, it never was. I think he's just to immature right now for a real relationship. He may, after all, be in his late sixties, but he is also forever sixteen.

He gave me the smile that any other girl in the school would have jumped for, and asked, "Ready to go?" I nodded, and all of us but Roan, who didn't have to leave for another half an hour, filed out the door and into two cars. Time for another ordinary day of high school.


	4. Vegitarian

Everyone but Roan, who didn't have to leave for another half an hour, filed out the door and into two cars. Holly and Basil got into Evangeline's cherry red corvette, and Ash, Evangeline and I got into my car.

It was a silver volvo. I got it a month ago when we went "school shopping" (we had come to call our annual trip to the car dealership school shopping), and this year, it had been my turn to choose. Everyone groaned when they saw my choice. _Sure, it was a nice car in its day_, they told me, _but that had to be at least twelve years ago_. For some strange reason, I was drawn to the car, and no amount of arguing on their part would convince me to pick another one. When they finally realised that, they gave in and we got the car and left.

I drove, with Evangeline in the passanger seat and Ash in the back. I really liked driving, and something about this old car was calming. Often, I would tell Evangeline and Ash to ride with Holly and Basil after school so I could just drive around for a few hours.

We were barely out of the driveway when Evangeline began to nag me about my driving. "Honestly, could you go **any** slower?" she asked, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. "We're practically crawling!"

I rolled my own eyes in response. "I really don't see how nearly **doubling** the speedlimit could considered **crawling!**"

My family all loved to drive fast. Except for me, that is. When I drove by myself, I would always drive human speed.

"Its easy to double the speedlimit when its only fifty five," she retorted. "And you're only doing 100!"

"I have to agree with Evangeline," Ash added from the backseat. "And it's not like you'll crash! Vampire reflexes," He smiled.

He was right of course. I wouldn't crash, and even if I did, by some freak chance, I wouldn't be hurt. It's nearly impossible to truely injure a vampire. I'd probably simply step out of the car as though nothing happened. I doubt I'd even be seriously jolted. Still...backseat drivers were ANNOYING!

"Et tu, Ash!" I said dramatically, though I sped up another ten miles.

Evangeline laughed, and I could see Ash rolling his eyes in the rearview mirror. "You and your fascination with Shakespeare," he mumbled. Of course, I could hear him anyway. "I never did understand how you could read that crap!"

"Crap!" I exclaimed, indignant. "Shakespeare was brilliant."

"So you say," he retorted, "but if no one can understand it, it doesn't matter much, does it. His 'brilliant' plays are incoherant."

I couldn't believe he was saying this! Shakespeare was one of the most amazing writers ever to live! That's why people still read his plays. Why they're still proformed. Sure, most people had some trouble understanding it, but if you really worked at it, anyone could do it.

"First of all, his plays were brilliant!" I began. "Do you realize, they're written entirely in sonnets. Sonnets!" He could be **so** irritating. "And just because **you're** to immature to appreciate his plays, doesn't mean they're incoherant to the rest of us."

I don't know if I had always liked books like this, but since I had awakened from my change, I had always had a taste for the classics. I loved Shakespeare, Chaucer, the Brontes, and most of all, Jane Austin.

"Children, children," Evangeline broke in. "Maybe you didn't notice through all that childish bikkering, but we're here."

We had arrived in the student parking lot, and Holly and Basil had come around to look at us with amused expressions on their faces. I smiled in embarassment, grabbed my books, and got out of the car. The others followed suite, and came around to stand by me before we all began to make our way towards the school.

The brick buildings towered over us, and as usual, the students around us chatted loudly. Normally, I would tune it all out, but today, a few sentences broke through, making me curious. "I heard there are going to be five new students today!" one girl told her friend excitedly. "I know," the friend replied. "I saw them. They're all **really** beautiful! Kind of like the Matthews."

That startled me. Beautiful like us? Could that mean there were more vampires moving to town? I stopped walking to look at my family with wide eyes, suddenly alert. "Did you hear that?" I asked. They all stopped as well, and tuned to look at me, forming a circle on the edge of the parking lot.

"Hear what," Ash questioned absentmindedly.

"Everyone's talking about some new students," I said impatiently. "And that girl just said they're beautiful like us! Could they be vampires?"

My family exchanged looks, then Evangeline turned nervously to me, saying, "Oh my gawd, Buffy, I'm **so** sorry! We totally forgot to tell you!"

I sighed. She could be so crypic at times, assuming I knew what she was talking about. "Tell me what?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Another family of vampires just moved to town," she said quickly, as though she half hoped I would miss it.

"How could you guys **forget** something like that?" I asked, exasperated. "It is kind of important!"

"We just found out last night ourselves," she explained, hurriedly. "We went to meet them as soon as we found out they were here. We would have waited for you, but we thought it was important to find out right away if they would be a threat to us or not, and we knew you'd be busy...We didn't want to bother you."

That calmed me a little. It was understandable that they would want to go meet the new vampires immediately, and of course they wouldn't want to disturb me. Every night for the past several years, I have spent alone in my room, trying to recover my hidden memories. I can tell they were still there, beneath the surface, but try as I may, I can't call them to mind. Mostly I meditate. Holly suggested it. To meditate, I concentrate all of my attention on one thing, quieting my mind and letting thoughts I didn't even know were there, hidden in the back of my mind, come through.

I still don't remember my human life, but I often get brief flashes, which I faithfully record in my notebooks and in pictures that I pin up all over my walls. Most of the time, I only get strange emotions that can't be explained by whats going on in my life, but sometimes, I get images as well. They're hazy, and most of the time I can't tell what I'm looking at, but they're getting clearer.

"Okay," I said, snapping out of my thoughts to deal with the present situation. They all visably relaxed. "So, whats the story?"

"They just moved here yesterday," Evangeline started. "And they all seem really nice."

"They're vegitarian like us," Basil smiled.

"Vegitarian?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah," Holly helped. "Thats what they call themselves for choosing to eat animals rather than humans. We thought it was cute." She giggled.

"Wow," I said. "I didn't know there were other vampires with eating habits like ours!"

"Neither did we," Evangeline shrugged. "Anyway, there's eight of them--"

I inturrupted, "Wait, eight! They're not all going to school here, are they? That would be pretty suspicious!"

Basil laughed at me and the others smiled. "They wont all be going to school. Only five of them." I smiled in embarassment, feeling more than a little foolish. "The leader will be working in Seattle as a doctor--" I had to cut him off there.

"Wait! A doctor! How does he manage that!"

"I know. We thought it was strange, too. Apparently he's nearly immune to the smell of human blood. It hardly even bothers him. Anyway, neither him nor his wife will be coming, and neither will one of the others."

"Wow," I smiled. "I'm kind of excited to meet them."

"There are two boys and three girls," Holly helped. "But in case you were wondering, both of them are taken."

I laughed at that. "Holly, Holly! I'm not Ash!"

Everyone but Ash laughed uproarisingly. He just rolled his eyes, and began walking toward the school, away from our little circle in the parking lot. As if on que, several girls just "happened" to be walking by and immidiately made a beeline for him. His shoulders drooped a little, knowing I had won, and just as one of the girls reached him and tried to grab his hand, he looked sheepishly back at me and mouthed the words, "Fine, you win this time."

We all smiled and shook our heads, then headed off in separate directions towards our first period classes. I was the adzact opposite of Ash in that department. There certainly wasn't a shortage on guys asking me out, especially when I was travelling and came across several covens of vampires a few years ago, but I just wasn't interested. I couldn't remember wanting anyone that way, and every time someone showed interest in me, I felt myself pulling away, as if I was saving myself for something. I knew it was a foolish thought, but the fact remained that I _wasn't_ interested in any of those guys.

I was walking to my first period class, thinking about how much I **wasn't** looking forward to pretending to pay attention all day, when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone barrelled into me, pulling me into a giant hug. "OH MY GAWD," she exclaimed. "I can't believe you're ALIVE!!!"


	5. Visions

**Silverdale is a real place in Washington, near Seattle. One of my best friends lives there, and since I visited her before I read twilight, when I did read it, I pictured forks like silverdale. I don't know about the accuracy of pretty much anything I wrote about it in here, but if you do, bear with me please. I just needed a small town in Washington.**

**Thanks soooo much to my reviewers!!! I appreciate it more than I think you know, and it encourages me to write faster. I'm planning on probably updating about every other day, or at the very least, twice a week. It helps that my school has a weird ass schedual. On wednesdays, I don't have to be there until 9, and on thursdays I get out at 12:15...block schedual. Anyways, I hate long authors notes, and usually don't even read them, especially if they're at the **_**beginning**_** of the chapter, so I'll try not to write too many unless its absolutely necessary. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own twilight or new moon. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I do own Evangeline, Roan, Holly, Basil, Ash, and Lilith.**

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I stiffened in shock. My arms were tight at my sides, and my eyes were wide. It was startling, to say the least, to be minding my own business on my way to class, when suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, a stranger ran into me and pulled me into a hug, exclaiming all the while about how wonderful it was to see me, and how amazed she was to find that I'm alive. I didn't know what to say, I was so taken aback.

After several awkward moments (awkward for me at least, she seemed perfectly at ease), she stepped back a bit to smile up at me. Judging from her pale skin and bruise-like circles under honey eyes, I could tell she must have been one of the new vampires. She moved with a grace that no human girl could ever have pulled off, and dancers would have envied. Her short body was pixie-like, and her black hair spiky. I didn't recognise her, but she somehow looked oddly familiar. I bit my lip in confusion.

"How have you been!" She exclaimed. "I'm so glad you're alive! Charlie said you were dead..."

I was sure I'd never seen her before. Vampires aren't forgettful, so I would remember, but I felt as though I had always known her. I could picture her in my mind, making different faces, and mouthing words I couldn't understand.

She looked like she was about to say something more, but just then my family walked up and stood beside me. Most of them wore confused or amazed expressions, but Evangeline, smiling, was the first to speak. "Buffy, I didn't know you knew Alice Cullen!"

Of course Evangeline would know who this was. She and the others had gone to meet the new family, the Cullens, last night. My mind was racing, rapidly trying to piece together what was going on, but everything was in chaos. In my mind, I saw her prancing across an unfamiliar caffiteria to throw an untouched tray in the garbage...Dancing with a blonde boy, wearing a beautiful, prom looking formal dress...Giggling and holding up clothes. It didn't make any sense! Why was I seeing these pictures in my mind? Were they daydreams? Were they memories?

"Buffy?" Alice questioned. "Since when have you been going by Buffy?" Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, and...disgust?

A look of dawning crossed Evangeline, Holly, and Basil's faces, while Ash crossed his arms, obviously suspicious. They all exchanged looks, before turning to look from me to Alice. "Oh," Evangeline exclaimed. "When I saw you two together I assumed that Buffy met you when she went away."

We had all been living in New York when I decided to take off on my own for a while. I loved my family, but I couldn't get over the need to find out about my past. I spent a year travelling through Oregon and Washington, searching for any small clue that may have told me who I was and where I was from. From the beginning, I knew it wouldn't be easy. All I knew was that Olivia had found me somewhere in the woods in Washington. I searched relentlessly for a while, going through town records and high school yearbooks, but I never found a single clue. After a year, I didn't know what else to do, and I called my family. I missed them, and knew it was about time for them to relocate. I had come across Silverdale during my travells, and thought it would be a nice place to live. Everyone else agreed, and we've lived here for two years now.

My confusion turned to shock when I realized what Evangeline was suggesting. I looked at the faces around me, and began to feel lightheaded. If I wasn't a vampire I would certainly have passed out. I hadn't taken a breath in several minutes. "W-what do you mean?" I finally stammered. She couldnt' mean what I thought she meant...Could she? Could I really have searched so long only to have my past show up unexpectantly?

Alice gave me a questioning look, Evangeline took a deep breath, and turned to talk to Alice. "You knew her when she was human, didn't you?" There was an awkward pause, as Alice looked from me to Evangeline.

"Yes," she answered slowly. Judging by the expression on her face, I knew that she had just realized that something was wrong. I myself was just beginning to understand what was going on.

_But she's a vmpire, too!_ My mind screamed. _How could I have known her as a human if she was a vampire? Inter-species friendships have a way of not working out when one of the parties involved has to fight the urge not to suck the blood their blood away!_

"You see," Evangeline looked nervous, she obviously didnt' want to have to be the one to explain. "Buffy doesn't remember anything from her human life. A friend of ours found her in the woods during her change and brought her to us...that's all we know."

Alice's eyes grew wide, and she turned from Evangeline to stare at me. I wanted to squirm under the intense gaze she gave me just then. "You mean---you mean, you don't remember me?" She put her hand on my cheek and looked so sad I wished I could have doen something. I wished I could say that I remembered her, that I remembered everything, but all I could do was shake my head no. The look on her face remained sad for a moment, but then another look plastered itself over it. She squared her shoulders, and looked up at me with determination. "Well then," she said, "we'll just have to help you remember."

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Alice's pov

Another school, another town, another life. Every few years, my family and I pack up all of our belongings and move to another town where no one will recognise us, or discover what we are. Living off of animals instead of humans makes it so that we can stay in one place longer, but we still only have a few years in each place, before people begin to notice that none of us ever age.

Flashback

My family depends heavily on my visions when choosing a new place to live. Carlisile found a number of places we might move to, and it was my job to look into all of those places and tell them what I saw. They all seemed pretty ordinary. I could see Carlisile working in various hospitals, and various high schools we could attend. I didn't see any threat to us, no matter where we moved, and was finished with the list when I noticed I had missed a town halfway down.

Silverdale, WA was a small town near Seattle, with plenty of surrounding forests and only one high school. It actually reminded me eerily of Forks, and I almost passed it up, thinking it wouldn't be good for Edward, when I decided to just have a look anyways. Surely if it really would be a bad move for him, I would see that in my vision and Carlisile and Esme would agree with me not to move there.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and relaxed. As always, the vision rushed suddenly upon me, envloping me in a dream until I noticed nothing else.

_ the vision _

_I was in the front yard of a beautiful mansion. It was three stories high, and constructed of natural woods, making it look like a gaint cabin. Surrounding the house were forests, and like I had guessed, it reminded me a lot of Forks. The trees were covered in moss and ivy, and ferns covered the ground, making it impossible to step without crushing something. The lawn was enormous, and scattered throughout were large trees, surrounded by such a large variety of floweres, I could never have named them all. A stone path lead up to the font door, which was warm and welcoming. The whole house seemd warm, not at all cold like we were._

_Suddenly the vision changed, and I was in a large family room. For a moment, I wondered why my visions would be showing me this. Sure,the house was lovely, but that wasn't the point. What I needed to know was if we could live here in peace, or if someone would catch on to our secret. It wouldn't be the first time..._

_Before I had much time to think about it, I heard my own voice coming from upstairs. "They're coming," I exclaimed with obviouse excitement. It never got old. Each time I heard myself or saw myself, it felt just as strange as ever. It was even stranger trying to describe the visions, using the words 'me' and 'I' both for me, and for the 'me' I saw in my visions. My family and I had taken to calling the me I saw 'Alice2' to prevent some of the confusion._

_Within a few moments, my family was filing into the room, with Alice2, knowing smile spread wide across her face, leading the way. She pranced over to one of the sofas, and sat down impatiently. I've never been one for patience. Jasper sat beside her, looking over curiously before grabbing her hand. She shot him a brilliant smile, then looked over at Emmitt and Rosailie. Emmitt looked almost as excited as Alice2, but Rose looked bored, as usual, and leaned against her husband who had his arm across her shoulders. Her eyes rolled, as if to say, "Do I really have to be here?" Esme sat quietly in a chair with her hands folded in her lap. I could tell that she had mixed feelings about something; as though she was battling excitement and worry. Lilith sat on the other chair with her legs crossed and her chin rested on her hand. She seemed to be lost in thought, as Carlisile opened the door and smiled at our visitors._

_Five, very beautiful vampires entered, and I immidiately noticed that they, like us, had honey eyes. "Hello," one of them, presumably the leader, said, extending his hand to Carlisile. "I'm Roan, and this is my family." _

_ end vision _

I gasped, and my thoughts went wild with excitement. Another family of vegitarian vampires! How exciting! My family and I had only ever known of one other coven to live off of animals as we did, in Denali. I ran off immidiately to tell Carlisile and Esme.

end flashback

When I had first told the family what I had seen, Carlisile had been a bit torn. He wanted to meet the family as much as the rest of us, but he thought too many of us in one place might be suspictious, even if we were two separate families. Silverdale was such a small place, it would be hard not to be conscpicuous, and there was only one school, meaning we wouldn't be the only vampires there. On the other hand, my vision didn't see any trouble, and if there was, we could always move again. Being so close to Seattle, meant it wouldn't be difficult to get last minute flights if the need presented itself.

He still hadn't made up his mind, when I had a second vision. It was one of the clearest, and briefest I had ever had. All I could see was Edward at the top of the staircase I had seen at the house in Silverdale, looking happier than I had seen him in years. It only lasted for a moment, so I couldn't see what he was so happy about, but the look on his face was clear, and I rushed off to tell Carlisile.

That had settled it. It pained all of us to have to see what Edward had come to when Bella died, and anything that might help, we would do. That night, we packed our bags, Carlisile made a few calls to ensure a job in Seattle, and we were on our way back to Washington.

Silverdale was, as I expected, a lot like Forks. I could tell my family was all thinking the same thing, because from the moment we left to the moment we arrived they all shot worried glances at Edward. Lilith especailly seemed to cling to his side, and it was no surprise to me when the first thing he did when we arrived was disappear. I was hoping he would come back in time to meet the new family of vampires with us, but he didn't come back until right before it was time for us to leave for school, and even then, he just took off for his new room.

Carlisile and Esme were worried about him more than ever now, but we had to trust that my second vision would come true. Of course, it would be so much easier if we knew what it was in my vision that had made him so happy, but we supposed only time would tell. None of the others knew about that vision, and we thought it best to keep it that way. Edward was too lost in his own dark thoughts to notice ours nowdays, so atleast we didn't have to worry much about him finding out, but Lilith especially was angry.

Lilith was like a puppy, following Edward around and shooting death glares at the rest of us whenever we accidentally said something that upset him further. Maybe I would have thought of her as a sister had it not been for how she came to our family, but I would never love her as I had loved and accepted Bella. I wanted Edward to be happy, but the thought of Lilith trying to replace Bella sent shivers down my spine. I didn't trust her, and though my family had tried talking to me about it, that wasn't going to change. Was it only because she wanted Edward that I mistrusted her? Or was there something more? I somehow thought there was, though Jasper may have been right when he said I was probably trying to justify my feelings.

I dug through my closet for an outfit. First days of school were NOT fun. It wasn't really the first day of school, since summer vacation had officially ended here more than a month ago, but we would be the new kids. Everyone would stare and try to talk to us, noticing our unique beauty and grace. Hopefully this time wouldn't be so bad with the Matthews here. We already had friends, and could quickly establish to the rest of the student body that we weren't interested in getting to know them. They'd probably all think we were snobs, but what did it matter to us what a group of human teenagers thought? I knew it was false hope. This was a small town, and we were sure to be the hot discussion topic for at least a week.

I sighed, taking a quick glance in the floor length mirror at my perfect outfit before rushing off to the bathroom. I wanted to do my hair and makeup before Roasalie got there. I was still furious with her, and I didn't see that changing any time soon. I got there just as Lilith walked out, making sure to glare angrily at me. She blamed me for the move here and upsetting Edward, and it probaly didn't help that she knew I didn't like her. I smiled widely with obvious sarcasm before rolling my eyes and pushing through her to get to the door.

How had everything gotten so screwed up? Why couldn't things be all happy and peachy like in the fairy tales, or corny nintys sitcoms? I tried to remember a time when we had all been happy, but that had been so long ago...ten years a week ago...the anniversary of Bella's eighteenth birthday, when Edward decided to leave her. I didn't think it could get any worse from that point. It nearly tore our family apart, but it just got worse and worse from there.

_No Alice!_ I chastised myself. _Don't think of that right now. Remember your vision...things __**will **__get better._

I let out a tired sigh and did my hair up into short, black spikes.

It was heartbreaking for me to look at Edward now. I hated what all this had doen to him, and knowing that he would probably never fully heal. He loved Bella with everything he had, and now he was broken, torn with grief and regret. I had been so sure...so sure she would become one of us. So sure she would officially become the sister I can come to regard her as.

Before I knew it, I was ready and it was time to go. I went to my room quickly to grab my bag, then turned to see Jasper in the doorway. Without saying anything, he walked foreward and pulled me into a hug. He was the only one who knew just how hard this was for me, and not just because he could read my emotions. Jasper just understood me, the way I understood him. We didn't even need words to communicate most of the time, and this was no different. He held me for a moment, then pulled away to look down at me and grab my hand. We walked downstairs together to meet Emmett, Rosalie and Lilith. Edward wouldn't be attending with us. Infact, he hadn't gone to school in ten years.

Lilith didn't want to go. Of course, if Edward was staying she wanted to stay with him, but Carlisile had put his foot down, much to my joy. She had pouted and whined, but it got her nowhere. I think Carlisile, as much as he told me I should accept Lilith, also thought she was overstepping boundaries. Further, it was obvious that Edward needed as much time away from her as he could get.

She shot me one more glare before we all walked outside and loaded into Rosalie's porshe. It was beautiful, and there was nothing inconspicuous about it, but Rosalie only got flashy cars, and none of us cared enough to get argue. Rosalie drove and Lilith rode shotgun. Emmitt, much to his irritation was stuck in the back with Jasper and I now, but me sitting with either Rosalie or Lilith was no longer an option. None of us talked the entire ride, and I could tell from the looks that Emmitt and Jasper were giving eachother, that both of them could feel the tension.

It must have been hard for Jasper, having to sit there through mine and Lilith's anger, and Rosalie's stubborn irritation. I rested my head on his and grabbed his hand comforitingly, and soon enough we were at the school.

We walked together to the office to pick up our scheduals, then all of us began to head off to our first period classes. The lady in the office had given us all maps as well so that we wouldn't have any problems finding our classes, and I was about to find my first period history class when I decided to walk back towards the parking lot instead. I don't know what made me do it, but being psychic, I knew better than to ignore my intuition. Sure, my power was clairvoyance, not strange feelings, but I had those every once in a while too, and they always seemed to be right on track.

I turned the corner and spotted two of the Matthews, who I had just met that morning, walking towards me. I started to smile and say hello when I noticed someone else. She had chocolate brown hair and topaz eyes. She was thin and almost fragile wearing the same shade of blue that Edward had always said he loved on her. My eyes widened in shock.

It was Bella, and she was a vampire!

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**Okay, soooo, I'm sure you have a lot of questions. There were a few times where I kindof mentioned something and didn't explain...Sorry about that. Everything will come together later. Promise.**

**Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I don't care if you have something good or something bad to say, I want to know how I'm doing! Thank you**

**Poe**

**(no, poe is not my name, its a nickname. My real name is raven, and one of my friends was trying to be clever coming up with a new nickname when she decided on 'edgar allen raven.' I couldn't help it, I had to make fun of her, so I said heavy sarcasm 'oooooor, how about poe. saddly it stuck. : )**


	6. Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. All credit to is amazing charictors go to Stephenie Meyer. I only own Evangeline, Roan, Holly, Basil, Ash and Lilith.**

Holly's pov:

Having just explained everything we knew about the new family of vampires to Buffy, my family separated and began heading off in different directions for class. Basil and I walked together, holding hands. We didn't have any classes together, because he was pretending to be a senior and me a junior, but he always walked with me anyways, just as he had ever since we first met. Back then, when we were still at the akward stage where you're afraid to say how you really feel, we had both used passing periods as an excuse to spend more time together.

Our hands were cold and hard, twined together, but even after all these years, he still managed to leave me breathless. Every time he touched me I felt myself exploding with an indescribable feeling. Every time he kissed me, my mind went blank. I looked over to see him looking back at me, and smiled. We were so lucky to have eachother, and Evangeline and Roan, too. Poor Buffy and Ash. They had no idea what they were missing.

I didn't waste time hoping they would end up together, though Ash did. I could tell, even if he couldn't, that they just weren't meant to be. Ash had a lot of growingup to do. He may be nearing ninty, but he still acts like he's in middle school, and even if he didn't, they still just weren't meant to be anything more than siblings and friends. Sometimes I wondered if maybe Buffy hasn't already found her soul mate...None of us would know, since she doesn't remember her human life, but I rather think that she's already been in love. I hated the thought, because it would be a horrible twist of fate if she had already found the person she was destined for, only to be changed, and unable to spend the rest of forever with whoever it was. To have to live an eternity alone.

I couldn't bear the thought. I'm extrememly ideallistic, so I like to believe that everyone is meant for someone, and I would hate to think anyone, especially Buffy who I think of as a sister and best friend, would have to endure that. It was heartbreaking enough when humans were separated from whoever they were meant for, but for them atleast, the pain is temporaty. Eventually, they will die and go to heaven, or be reincarnated, depending on your personal beliefs. Either way, eventually, they are reunited. If Buffy had already found that special person as a human, whoever he was would die, and Buffy would be alone for the rest of all eternity. Without being able to remember, she may never even see him again. She may never even remember what true love felt like.

Before a few years ago, I didn't think something like that was possible. I was sure that she just hadn't met the right person yet, and that someday, he would come along and she would be happy. That was before the dreams.

flashback

It was mid-December in London, and we had just moved in two months ago. When Buffy joined our family, we decided to relocate, rather than having to give explanations about the new addition. Christmas was my favorite holiday, and I had taken it upon myself to decorate the entire house. Red and green tinsel was everywhere, and I had hung mistletoe and holly (go figure) from every doorway. A collosal wreath hung on the front door, and the enormous tree in the living room was covered in lights, tinsel, strings of popcorn, baubles, and ceramic ornaments. I had taken over the dining room table (its not like we ever used it) to cover with a train set, and took advantage of every available flat surface for those tiny glass villages people like to decorate their houses with during the holidays. A corny looking Santa and Mrs. Clause waved and smiled from the mantle over the fireplace, and glittey, paper snowflakes hung from the ceiling.

Being a vampire and never having to sleep gave me plenty of time to go crazy, and I had even taken the time to place Christmasy plastic pictures in everyone's windows. It was while I was at that, going from room to room decorating windows, that I had come across Buffy while she was sleeping. It had been months since we discovered her power, but I hadn't been expecting to find her the way I did.

When I first entered her room, she was sleeping soundly, and looked perfectly content. I smiled, and tiptoed across her room to the window, making an effort to be quiet, though I knew she was a heavy sleeper and I wouldn't wake her. I suppose it was more because I knew why she was sleeping that I was so careful not to disturb her.

She had woken up from the transformation not remembering anything, and had since been obsessed with finding out about her past. I couldn't say that I blamed her. If I were her, I would probably be the same way. I didn't really care about my human life, but if I didn't remember any of it, if I didn't even know who I was, I'm sure it would have been an entirely different story.

Lucky for her, I had in the past twenty years developed an interest in the metaphysical, which often drew a lot from psychology. I had read a lot about consciouse and subconscious minds, and knew that it was the subconscious mind that both stored memories and created your dreams. Dreaming, I told her, could be really helpful in trying to remember her past. The problem was, because you aren't conscious while you dream, it is usually hard to recall your dreams. Some people don't remember dreaming at all. If she wanted to retain her dreams, she should keep a notebook and pen by her bed and write everything she could remember when she woke up. At first, she still wouldn't remember all that much, but after a few weeks or even months of this, her subconscious would start to make it easier for her.

I had also taught her how to meditate. Mediation, if she learned it well, could help her remember her dreams, and possibly even some of her human life. Mediation, like dreaming, activated the subconscious mind, but unlike dreaming, you have full control. Its rather like a bridge where the two minds meet, and the subconscious can easily send messages, or memories long forgotten, though often in symbol form(which is why people talk about dream symbols and there are entire books written on it).

So far, she hadn't had any success, but it had only been two weeks, so there wasn't any reason to worry yet. Once I got to the windows, I began sticking on pictures of christmas trees and Santa Clause and mistletoe and a manger. I was really enjoying myself, trying to figure out why they stuck so easily when I heard Buffy begin to stirr.

At first, I thought I had made some noise and awakened her, but I soon realized that she was just dreaming. _How interesting. She talks in her sleep._ My fascination soon faded, however, when I realized whatever she was dreaming wasn't pleasant. She whimpered and tossed around, and I quickly ran to the side of her bed. _What could she be dreaming about?_

I wanted to wake and comfort her, but I knew she wouldn't want that. Whatever nightmare she was having probably had to do with something in her past, so I just listened. I might even be able to help her by repeating whatever she said back to her if she had trouble remembering.

"Please," she mumbled. "Please don't leave!"

I wondered how much of a help I could possibly be. There was no way for me to know what she was seeing and hearing. All I could do was try to piece something together using the cryptic words and phrases she mumbled.

I hated seeing her like this. She writhed and clutched at her chest, obviously gasping for breath, though she didn't need air. Her facial expressions were always riddiculously easy to read, and it was no different when she was asleep. Her face scrunched up as she sobbed, though of course there were no tears.

Suddenly, her mood changed. She was no longer sad, but scared. No. Not scared. Terrified. She began screaming and thrashing around on the bed. Within seconds, the entire family was in the room asking questions.

"What's wrong!"

"Is she okay?"

"What happened!"

I quickly explained everything, and the others nodded anxiously before we all positioned ourselves around her bed. There was nothing we could do to help her, but we still felt that we should be there for moral support, even if she didn't know we were there and gained no comfort from it.

We watched in horror and helplessness as the screaming continued. I think we might have decided to wake her anyways if she hadn't been screaming out a name. "Edward." _Who is Edward?_ She must have been like that for at least an hour before she finally let out a sigh and slipped back into silent dreams.

We all looked at eachother, relieved that it was finally over. Evangeline rubbed her eyes and pressed her middle fingers into her temples. "That was horrible," she whispered. "Poor Buffy. I wonder what happened to her?"

"I don't know," Roan answered, "but I'm starting to think maybe its better we don't. Maybe she'd be better off not remembering."

"She obviously forgot for a reason," Basil added. "Memory loss is a common defense mechanism for the mind."

"Yes," Roan agreed. He was, after all, the psychologist. "She'll probably remember someday, but not until she's ready to handle it."

"Do you think she'll remember when she wakes up?" I asked. "I mean, she hasn't had much luck remembering her other dreams so far."

"Not the ones about her past anyway," Evangeline corrected. "She remembers the ones about the present perfectly well."

"That's true. Your guess is as good as mine," Roan said thoughtfully. "It seems like her mind is only hiding the dreams she has pertaining to her past, so she might not remember, but this dream, whatever it was about, seemed awfully dramatic."

"Yeah, that's true," Evangeline conceded. "It's probably a lot more memorable than the others, and since this is the first time that this has happened, we can't really compare it to anything. This is completely different from whatever other dreams she's had of her past."

"This is what she was like during the change," Ash mumbled from a corner of the room. Up until that point, he had been completely silent. He would be the only one of us to know what Buffy had been like during the change, because the rest of us had been out of town for a week. He was the only one home when Olivia brought Buffy by, and had been with her for two days. We had only been thee for the last hour of her trasformation.

Evangeline and Basil starred at Ash for a moment, and Roan cocked his head as if he was considering something. He was the first one to break the silence. "That may have just been the pain," he said. "Most people do scream." Ash just shrugged.

"Do you think her whole life was traumatic then," I asked. "If it was just one thing, couldn't her mind just block out that memory, instead of everything?"

"I don't know," Roan answered.

"That could be," Evangeline started. "Or maybe whatever it was that happened to her was just so tied in to the rest of her life that it wouldn't have been possible to block just that one memory. Or maybe it happened right before her change..."

"Why would it matter when it happened," I asked, confused.

"Well..." she began, "Roan and I think that whatever is going through your mind at the time of your change affects what happens when you become a vampire. It would follow the pattern, since when one becomes a vampire, every flaw is fixed, and then you are frozed forever as you are. You, for example, were sick and dying. The change fixed that, and anything else that may have been wrong with you. If, for example, you had had a bad ankle when you were human, and it hurt when it rained, even though it had long ago healed, your it would have been good as new when you finished the change. It gives us vampire traits, of course, and brings out some of our human ones, but the basics stay the same for the rest of all eternity. Your fingernails stop growing and so does your hair. Your skin doesn't die and replenish itself. You're frozen.

"It's our theory," she continued, "that whatever you were thinking of during the change will be your strongest memorys. You, for example, had just lost all of your family, so you were thinking of them. Roan and I were thinking of eachother. If whatever Buffy was thinking of at the time was the very same thing that the change wanted to fix, she may have lost everything else."

"Oh--" I whispered. She might never remember, then! I looked down at Buffy and was filled with loving sympathy. It didnt' seem fair. She didn't even know her own name! I couldn't imagine being in her position. She didn't know who she was or her own past, and she wanted to more than anything. Every time she talked about it, I could see the look of determintion on her face. She felt like a part of her was missing, and she was willing to go to the ends of the earth to find whatever it was.

Of course, we would always be here for her. She was already a part of our family, and had been since the moment Olivia brought her to us. It just felt right, and we all loved her, but we knew that as much as she loved all of us, it wasn't enough. I couldn't believe that her life was all bad, because if it was, I don't think she would have such a strong instinct to find it again.

"I wonder who Edward and Alice are," Ash mused, almost to himself.

I turned in shock, and felt the others do the same beside me. "What did you just say," I asked, eyes wide. He didn't seem to notice my obvious shock as he starred off into space.

"You don't think it was an old boyfriend of hers do you," suddenly, he looked over at us, and seemed to register the looks on our faces. None of us answered. "What?" he asked.

"She never said Alice," I said, narrowing my eyes in suspicion. _He wouldn't dare!!!_

A look of shock passed over his rounded face. His eyes grew wide, and his mouth dropped a little. "Did--did I say Alice?"

"Yes," Basil moved beside me, arms crossed. "You did."

He visably tensed, and his eyes wandered around nervously. "Well," he began sheepishly. "I might have heard her say that name a few times during her change..."

"**WHAT!!!**" I screached. I was furious, and a nearby vase exploded into hundreds of jagged shards. Fire exploded from the palms of my hands and my hair itself seemed to be made of flames. I knew my eyes were glowing, and Ash backed as far into the wall as he could, eyes wide with terror.

"Lets take this into another room," Roan said, looking down at Buffy. We didn't want to wake her.

"Roan!" Ash looked pathetic. "Can't you make her calm down!" Roan had a very unique power. He was able to make anyone do whatever he wanted them to. I had asked him to try it on me once, just to see how it felt, and it was one of the strangest experiences of my life. I went into a strange trance, where dark tendrils seemed to swirl around me and all thoughts stopped in the utter peacful, floating feeling I experienced. I couldn't do anything to stop him, and I didn't even have the will to try. All I could hear was his soothing voice telling me what to do, though I didn't even feel myself doing it. I was no longer focused in the outside world, but inside myself. He could have easily made me calm down and leave the room, but he didn't, and looking at him, I could tell why. He was angry too.

His voice revealed nothing as he calmly repeated himself. "Ash, outside. Now." It wasn't the normal calm. It was the deadly calm that was much more frightening than any amount of yelling. After a moment of shock, Ash seemed finally to catch on, and he ran from the room, the rest of us close behind.

I could barely restrain myself from pinning him to the groud and punching his face in, or torching him with flames. _How could he __**do**__ this!!! Buffy has been obsessing for __**months **__trying to remember something...__**anything**__, and he hid information from her! What good reason could he __**possibly**__ have!_ My body was tense, ready to spring, and my hands were balled into tight fists. I loved Ash, he was like a brother to me, but he had betrayed Buffy! "Explain yourself," I whispered, not trusting myself to keep control once I started yelling.

I was what you might call an elemental. I have control over fire...and could do some pretty amazing things, like shooting flames or jolts of electricity at people and stuff. Often, when I got angry like this, I lost a certain amount of control. Things nearby would explode or burst into flames, and only Basil, who was a water elemental (fire and water. go figure. We balance eachother out.) kept the house from burning down. This time was no different, and Basil had already had to extinguish seveal little outbursts on our way to the kitchen. (This is why we liked to get houses with hardwood. It didn't catch fire so easily as carpet.)

Ash looked down at his feet, nervously shuffling them around. "I know I should have said something," he mumbled. "And honestly, she didn't say Alice that much. Actually, if she had I would have been much more likely to say something. She mostly called out for _Edward._" he sneered as he said the name. "When I found out she didn't remember..." he trailed off.

There was silence for a moment, before Evangeline, who looked more angry than I had ever seen her, used the same deadly voice that had come from Roan a few minutes ago. "We're waiting..."

He looked up. "I didn't want her to." he said. "I didn't want her to remember and leave. What if that _Edward _was a boyfriend or something? You said yourself, Roan, human-vampire relationships don't work! She should get over it and be with another vampire! She should be with me!"

"I see," I said, narrowing my eyes to dangerous slits. "You betrayed her. You betrayed her because you were too selfish to think about what was really best for her. Did you ever think that maybe its not your place to decide who she should be with or what will or won't work for her! Did you ever think that maybe you're all wrong for her!" He flinched at those words. He was arrogant, and me saying that had hurt his pride, but I didn't care. He needed someone to tell him that, and I took a sick pleasure in being the one to do it. "Honestly Ash, with or without another guy, I really don't think you have a chance."

Evangeline broke in at that point. I was being harsh, I knew, but he had been totally off base, and betrayed Buffy in the process. I was right, too, and the others knew it. Buffy and Ash weren't meant to be. It was nothing more than a silly, one-sided crush, and it was starting to get annoying. Ash wasn't in love with Buffy. He was just focussing his feelings at her, though it had little to do with her as a person.

"I can't believe you did that, Ash," Evangeline had the disappointed and resentful gaze that she often used on strangers, but never family. Ash seemed to shrink back at the sight of it. "You betrayed a member of this family, and now you are responsible for fixing it." Her eyes were cold. "You will tell Buffy everything, including how you hid it from her, and you had better hope that she forgives you."

With that she turned and walked from the room. Yes, Ash was like a brother to me, but if he and Buffy couldn't work this out, my loyalties were with her. She had enough to deal with as it was. To think that she had been working so hard all this time to find even the tiniest of clues and Ash could have helped her all along...I didn't know what to say, so I didn't. I just stood across from Ash and starred him down. Roan had left the room as well, and Ash looked horrified into my blazing eyes, as if transfixed. Basil stood nearby, watching, I think, to make sure I didn't kill Ash. I wouldn't kill him. I loved him too much for that, but I wanted him to feel my anger. I wanted him to realize just how severe his actions had been. Just how wrong he had been.

After a few moments, Basil came over and touched my shoulder, leading me from the room and outside to calm down. Fire is an interesting thing. It can dance in joy, or rage wild and destructively. Without Basil's help, I would probably have burnt myself from the inside out long ago...multiple times even.

Buffy forgave Ash, of course, though I couldn't see how. She didnt' even seem angry. A little hurt, maybe, but never hurt. I didn't see how she could be so understanding and forgiving. If I had been her, I would have torched him to a crisp for even presuming to know what was best for me. For after hardly even meeting me, deciding that he knew what was best and hiding such precious clues. In the end, she didn't remember anyways, but the point was the intention. He thought that it might, and still he kept them from her. All she did was bite her lip, smile weakly, and hug him. "Its alright," she saidWHAT DID SHE MEAN ITS ALRIGHT! ITS NOT ALRIGHT AT ALL! But Ash had betrayed her and not me, so I kept my opinions to myself, and simply decided that Buffy was by far the most kind-hearted person I had ever met. "I forgive you. Friends?"

And that's what they were. Friends. Ash still wanted to be more, but none of his passes worked, and Buffy came to make light of them, even teasing him. She could see, like I could, that he didn't really love her, so she didn't feel bad about not loving him. I think she kept hoping that he would fall in love with someone, or focus the energy he placed on her to a more willing girl, but though he still flirted with every female he came in contact with, none of them turned into anything.

The dreams continued, and Buffy continued to be unable to remember them when she woke, but she did at least seem to be making some headway using meditation. Usually she only got flashes of emotion, but after about a year, she began to see an image. "Actually," she told me later, "I have gotten several images, but they were all too fuzzy to put together." Only one image stood out, and I only even found out about it when I noticed the pictures plastered all over her walls. They began as a pair of topaz eyes, but as you moved from left to right along the wall, they began to grow clearer and clearer, gradually turning into an entire face.

I asked her about it of course. I mean, c'mon! Pictures of a beautiful boy, who looked to be a vampire, were covering an entire wall. She bit her lip sheepishly and looked up at me nervously through her lashes. "I keep seeing him," she whispered. "Everywhere...Since the first time I saw those eyes, I couldn't get them out of my head." She hung her head, embarassed, and I smiled. I ran to hug her. "Oh Buffy, don't you see? This is a good thing! You remember something." And, I thought, it seemed that she had been in love with this person. I was happy, and left her room thinking happy thoughts of love overcoming all, breaking the barriers of her memory. It wasn't until later that I realized that if she truely loved that person, this was not a good thing. They had been separated, and now that she was a vampire, there was little hope. He would die, and she would live on.

end flashback

I looked into Basil's eyes and tried to forget about Buffy. Tried to forget about the horrible twist of fate that might be hers, when I happened to notice something out of the corner of my eyes moving extrordinarily fast...Faster than human fast. Vampire fast. I snapped my head over as I felt Basil do, and we gasped in unison. Alice Cullen, one of the new vampires we had met this morning, had run up to Buffy and pulled her into a tight, squeeling hug. Basil and I exchanged confused and shocked glances and walked human pace over to them. We didn't want to call any attention to ourselves, and honestly, Alice was lucky that none of the humans had seen her. We could only hope that she wasn't always this conspicuous.

It seemed to take forever to get there, and we arrived at Buffy's side just after Evangeline and Ash showed up. "Buffy, I didnt' know you knew Alice Cullen," Evangeline exclaimed smiling.

"Buffy?" Alice asked. She looked incredulous. "Since when have you been going by Buffy?"

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped in shock. Could _she mean...No! That couldn't be what she meant. Could it?_ Buffy couldn't have known Alice Cullen as a human. She must have met her when she went away two years ago. She must have just used a fake name or a nickname or something! Even though...that seemed like a very un-Buffyish thing to do...

I didn't know what to say. Buffy and Alice must have known eachother when Buffy was human! And from the looks of it, they had been close. _Ohhhh, but Buffy won't remember. _I twisted my hands, a nervous habit. _Gawd...What is Alice going to say when she finds out that Buffy doesn't remember anything._

"Oh," Evangeline whispered. "When I saw you two together I assumed that Buffy met you when she went away." Of course, Alice wouldn't know anything about when Buffy went away, but she seemed to be catching on to the fact that something wasn't right.

"Wh-what do you mean," Buffy stammered. It seemed that she was just realizing what was going on as well. How strange, to search so long for clues to your past only to have one of them show up at school and pull you into a hug.

Alice looked questioningly at Alice. Now, she was the only one who didn't know what we were thinking. She had no idea that Buffy didn't remember her, or herself for that matter. She probably hadn't even known that she was a vampire until just now. Wow...this was going to be akward...

"You knew her when she was human, didn't you?" Evangeline questioned before biting her lip. I didn't envy her right now. I didn't exactly think Alice would get angry with any of us, but I still wouldn't be the one to have to give the news. There was an akward pause in which Alice starred confused and obviously anxiously at Buffy. She knew whatever we had to tell her wasn't good.

"Yes," she finally said, eyes flickering over to Evangeline, and then to the rest of us.

Evangeline took a deep breath. "You see," she paused before rushing through her explanation, getting it over with. "Buffy doesn't remember anything from her human life. A friend of ours found her in the woods during her change and brought her to us...that's all we know."

After all these years, ten to the day in fact, Buffy was finally going to learn about her past. My eyes widened again as I realized something that I had somehow missed before. Alice! That was one of the names Buffy sometimes said in her sleep! Not nearly as much as she said Edward, but still...She only ever said two names, and Alice was one of them! She and Buffy must have been really close, so she would probably be a good person to talk to. She could probably even tell Buff who Edward was. I wondered if Buffy had realized what I had yet, or if she was still in too much shock.

My attention was brought back to the situation at hand when Alice spoke. She looked horrified as she touched a hand to Bella's cheek, saying, "You mean--- you mean you don't remember me?" It seemed that she would only believe it if Buffy confirmed it. Buffy stared for a moment. Trying to remember? Analysing a face she used to know well? I didn't know, but after a few moments, she shook her head no, and Alice looked devastat. Then a look of pure determination, the same look I saw so often on Buffy when she thought about her past, came over her face. "Well then," she said, lifiting her chin and squaring her shoulders, "We'll just have to help you remember."

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**Sorry guys, I know it took me a while to update. I had the entire chapter written out and I decided I really hated it, so I erased it all and wrote it over again. I needed to get a chapter from Holly's point of view out anyway, so this was a good time. I'll probably post another chapter later today, by tomorrow at the latest, and it will tell what happens next. ;) Thank you guys. I love my readers (you have no idea how stoked I was when I saw I had reviews and realized people were actually reading my story!!!), and please, PLEASE review!!! I swear they motivate me to update sooner. Seriously, say whatever. I like critisism almost as much as compliments, since it helps me to improve, so tell me how I'm doing!**

** Poe**


	7. Impatience

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. The amazing charictors in this fanfiction are the the property of the amazing Stephenie Meyer...Except for Holly, Evangeline, Roan, Basil, Ash and Lilith. I made them up. (btw, for those of you AMAZING enough to review, please tell me what you think of them so far.)**

**So...I'm really sorry I didn't update yesterday like I was planning to. This was reallllllly long, and honestly, I probably should have split it into three separate chapters, but I didn't feel like being lame like that. I know how impatient some of you are to see Edward again, and honestly, so am I...so yeah. I'm also really sorry about the last chapter for those of you who were disappointed. I know it was boring, but I had to put a lot of that stuff in somewhere for later in the story, and I figured it would be better to get it over with early on rather than when we were getting to the good part and you all get especially impatient to find out what's going to happen.**

**Thank you to all of my reviewers!!! I love you guys. You're seriously the inspiration for me to write this, and I get really excited every time I check my e-mail and see a new one!**

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Bella's pov:

Alice and I had three of our six classes together, and the rest of my classes, she told me, I had with other members of her family. Jasper was in my Calculus class, Emmitt in gym, and Rosalie and I had French III together. I was pleasantly amazed at how easily I could talk to Alice. Normally, I'm quiet and reserved, and I almost never open up to anyone. I had only been with her for a few minutes and already I found myself comforitable around her. It made me curious to know if it would be the same way with the rest of the Cullens.

I half expected Alice to immidiately begin telling me about my past, but to my surprise she seemed to be avoiding the subject. It struck me as strange when she had just finished saying that she'd 'just have to help me remember,' but when I finally asked her directly, she only said that she didn't think it was her place to tell me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulously. "Of course it's your place." She couldn't tell me she had known me when I was human, and then say it wasn't her place to tell me about my past! She was the only clue I had...if she didn't tell me, who would?

She smiled weakly as we walked to class. "Don't worry," she said. "You won't have to wait long. I just think you should hear everything from my brother."

I frowned. Why couldn't **she** tell me? I didn't want to have to wait. I had already waited ten years, and I knew she was itching to ask me about what had happened to me since the change. "Please," I pleaded. "I want you to tell me."

She only shook her head. "Fine," I snapped. "I'll wait. You said Emmitt has gym with me, right?"

For some reason, she seemed to find that funny. I glared, and was about to ask what I had done that was so amusing when she explained, "That's not the brother I was talking about." Not the brother she was talking about! "And don't even think about trying to get him to tell you," she pointed a finger accusingly at me. How did she know what I was thinking? "He won't tell you anything. At least, not unless he wants to die a very slow and painful death!" I sighed. If she wasn't talking about Emmitt, then who was she talking about? She hadn't mentioned any classes I had with another brother. Just how long was she expecting me to wait?

We had first period history together, but when we reached the classroom, we paused outside for a moment at the door before Alice said there was something she had to do really quickly. I nodded and she took off toward the main building while I walked inside, taking a moment to hang my coat on one of the hooks by the door before making my way to my usual desk in the back of the room. I set my book down, took my seat and rested my elbow on the desk and my chin in my hand.

Today was already proving to be very interesting. It was only 7:30, and already I had not only found out that a new family of vegitarian vampires had moved to Silverdale, but also that I had known these particular vampires during the human life that I had no memories of. I was finally going to find out who I was and what had happened to me. Questions shot through my head at lightning speed, and the knowledge that I would soon have answers filled my stomache with butterflies.

This is just what I had been looking for. It was ironic, that after all of these years of searching, the people who could tell me about my past just showed up. Maybe Roan had been right when he said that I would remember when I was ready, but until then it was no use forcing things. Fate had come to me. It had decided that I was ready, and brought the Cullens to help.

I was hoping that just being around them would help me to remember. I still couldn't call any memories to mind, but this morning when I was talking to Alice I had seen images of her, even though at the time I had thought she was crazy and certainly never imagined that I could have known her. At the time I had been ready to chalk it up to an overactive imagination, but now that I knew I had known her, I was more inclined to believe that they were memories. Fragmented memories, of course, but memories none the less.

It was entirely possible that even if I did get some of my memories back, they would only be brief, barely discernable glimpses. Human memories fade, and most vampires don't remember more than a the basics of their former life. They remember every detail of their vampire lives, however, so even if I never regained my memory, the Cullens would remember everything they had ever known about me. It was a comforting thought to realize that they could still tell me. Just because I didn't remember everything myself didn't mean I couldn't know. Maybe I could even convince one of them to go with me to wherever I was from and point out places I had frequented and people I had known.

I had so many questions, it was all I could do not to bounce around in my seat. _Relax,_ I told myself. _Alice said you won't have to wait long. When she comes back you can just ask her when you'll get to find out. _My fingers drummed on the desk and I bit down on my lip. _I'm sure she has a perfectly good reason for thinking I should hear everything from her brother...All my questions will be answered in no time..._ The self talk wasn't getting me anywhere. I was still impatient, and let out a sigh just as Alice walked through the door, smiling brightly at me.

She was only seconds ahead of the tardy bell, and the teacher looked up to the sound of the door opening. She walked over to him, handed him her schedual, and waited as he slowly read her name and signaled to the empty desk next to mine. He gave her back her schedual, and she began to make her way towards me, smiling at what luck we had. The other students didn't bother to hide their stares as they followed her movements down the aisle with their eyes. She sat gracefully down and set her bookbag beside her.

"Hmm," Mr. Parker cleared his throat. "Good morning class," he began. "As you can all see, we have a new student today. This is Alice Cullen and she just moved here from California." Alice smiled a bit, and I could see all around us curious faces who were, no doubt planning on approaching her after class to ask her to join their group. Several of the boys were already giving her a look that I had come to grow accustomed to, and I smiled. There were three new vampire girls at school today! Maybe that would take some of the unwanted attention away from Evangeline, Holly and I. Alice seemed to guess my thought process, because she suddenly looked over at me to glare playfully, narrowing her eyes. I smiled and we went back to pretending to pay attention to Mr. Parker.

We didn't actually pay attention, of course. We had both been graduated from multiple high schools, and Alice had even been to college a few times. With perfect vampire memory, we never forgot anything, so we didn't even need review. Instead, we spent the class period talking to eachother in hushed voices that no one with human hearing could have stood a chance of catching.

At first I wasted my time trying to convince her to tell me something. Any little thing. My name, for example. All I got out of her was that her brother wasn't going to school, and if I came home with her after school today, he'd be there. She had a vampire power to see the future, she said, though she had never seen me alive in one of her visions. Maybe, she reasoned, it was because she was already so sure I was dead. Or maybe she just wasn't meant to see it ahead of time.

I couldn't wait for school to end so I could go to her house and meet her brother, so of course time seemed to crawl. Finally the bell for second period rang, and Alice and I headed off for Chemistry.

Chemistry was much the same as History, with Alice refusing to tell me anything. "My lips are sealed," is all she would say. She wouldn't even tell me my real name, or who her brother was.

"C'mon, Alice," I begged. "I don't understand why you can't even tell me what his name is. You told me what **your** name is," I pointed out. "And I know Emmitt's, Jasper's and Rosalie's names."

"Its different," she said.

"How!"

"It just is..."

"Why?"

"You'll find out soon enough, okay?" she looked at me exasperated. "Buffy, I swear I'm not doing this to drive you crazy, and I know how you feel. I don't remember my human life either, but you need to trust me. Okay?"

That stopped me. "You don't remember your human life either?" That was the first time I had ever heard of another vampire that had no memories at all. I suddenly felt closer to her than ever.

"No," she answered. "But I have found out a little bit over the years. Actually," she added, "You helped with that when you were human."

I wanted to know how I had helped, but like before, she said I would find out after school. I was a little bit more patient after that. She could relate to what I was going through, so we talked about that instead. Before I knew it, the bell was ringing for third period and I was off to gym class.

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Alice's pov:

Bella and I didn't have third period together, so after handing my schedual to the teacher, a grumpy looking woman in her seventies, I found my way to my seat and spent the class thinking. I was already fluent in Spanish, anyways.

It was still hard, even after having just talked to her for two hours, to believe that Bella was really alive and a vampire. _I should never have doubted it_, I thought. From the first time Edward and Bella met, right up until we left Forks, I had experienced hundreds of visions, all of which ended in Bella as a vampire. No matter what Edward did trying to protect her, all he had been doing was postponing the inevitable. They were fate. Meant to be, and when he had tried to save her one last time, fate had taken matters into its own hands and changed her when he was gone.

I had been shocked to see her, but it didn't even compare to the way I felt when I found out she couldn't remember anything. How could she not remember? I could see her in my minds eye in a thousand different images. Sitting across the caffiteria from my family and I on her first day at Forks High. The wild look in Edwards eyes later that day as he fought the urge to go to her house and kill her. The two of them sitting off on their own eating lunch. Well...Bella eating lunch. Prom...school...her birthday... She couldn't remember any of it?

I wished I could just tell her everything, but I knew I should let Edward do that. He knew her better for starters, and I was half hoping she would recognise him. I knew it was stupid. For chrissakes, she doesn't remember her own name, but still, I hoped. For Edward's sake, I hoped. I didn't even want to think of the pain I would be in if Jasper didn't remember me. Given, Edward would be overjoyed just to learn that she was alive, but to find she didn't even know who he was...

And what would he say when he found out she was a vampire? I hoped he'd realize what a blessing it was. After all, if she hadn't been changed, she'd probably really would have been dead. Edward seemed to forget in all his stubborness that her number had been up as soon as she moved to Forks. Only he kept her from an early death. They could finally be together without him having to worry his brains out. They could kiss without all of his insane boundaries. He wouldn't have to be so careful around her, conscious of his every move.

Maybe, because her transformation had nothing to do with him, he could just be happy about it. He wouldn't have to feel guilty, thinking he had stolen her soul and sentenced her to eternal damnation. Honestly, he could be such a pessimist! If he didn't have a soul, he couldn't love! And we all known he had wanted to make her a vampire all along. He just couldn't bring himself to change her for himself when he was sure it was all wrong for her.

_This must be what that vision was about,_ I thought to myself. Of course! It seemed so obvious now. What else could make Edward that happy but seeing Bella again. I wanted to just skip school and take Bella to go see him, but I knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to ditch on my first day at a new school. I glanced up at the clock_. Only four more hours!_

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Emmitt's pov:

I got to gym early and waited for Bella to come out of the girls locker room. Since it was my first day, I didn't have P.E. clothes, and didn't have to dress out, so I walked over to where the gym teacher sat reading last months issue of Sports Illistrated and handed him my schedual. He looked up at me for a moment, taking in my build I'm sure, before adding my name to his role sheet and handing my paper back to me.

"Emmitt Cullen, is it?" he asked. "You play any sports, Emmitt?" I grinned. Of course he wanted to recruit me. I loved sports, but I couldn't play on human teams, and it wouldn't have been any fun if I did. I had super strength and speed that no human could ever compete with, and though I had tried before, I had to hold back so much it was just boring.

"Sorry, no. I prefer to watch," I answered. Not true. I hated just watching. I was fiercely competitive, and loved to play...with my brothers. Well, brother. Edward hadn't really done anything but mope around since he left Bella, so it was only Jasper and I most of the time...

"Oh," he said dissappointed. "Well then, make sure you buy some clothes. I'll give you a week, but after that you need to dress out every day if you want to pass my class."

"Thanks coach," I said before turning. Students were just starting to come out of the locker rooms, and I was anxious to see Bella. I could hardly believe she was alive when Alice told me! She wouldn't remember me though...

Just then she walked out the locker room doors, spotting me immidiately. She looked slightly different. Her hair was shinier, her skin paler and her eyes the same honey color as everyone in my family's. She was thinner and curvier, and not quite so fragile looking, but still Bella.

I grinned and ran over to her, human speed of course, pulling her into a tight bear hug and surprised when she hugged me back. Bella had always been so shy, and she didn't remember me. It was like a complete stranger coming up to her and hugging her. Aw well, I thought. She's probably getting used to it today. "I know you don't remember me," I said. "But I'm hugging you anyways!"

She laughed a little, and I pulled away to get a better look at her. "What is it you're going by now," I asked. "Buffy?" I remembered of course. Vampires have a really good memory, but I wanted to tease her about the name.

She smiled devilishly and replied, "Yeah, but if you tell me what my real name is, I can start going by that."

I roared with laughter. She had probably spent the last two hours unrelentingly questioning Alice. She had never been one for surprises. "Nice try," I said. "But I don't think so!" She sighed in disappointment before glaring at me. It felt just like old times.

* * *

Bella's pov:

Just like I suspected, I immidiately felt comforitable around Emmitt. It was strange to feel like you had always known someone, and not be able to place them in your mind. If anything, the past few hours had only made me want to remember even more. I wanted to remember the Cullens. I had only met two of them so far, but Alice and Emmitt already felt like my brother and sister.

_Why can't I remember_, I wondered in frustration. It had made sense when Evangeline and Roan had suggested I may have lived an unhappy life, and my mind just took the opporitunity to block all of that out, but I had obviously not had a bad life. These people loved me. I could tell, though I didn't know why, and I couldn't even remember them!

We played basketball in gym and Emmitt and I were on a team. It wasn't very fun, because we had to tone it down so much, but we had plenty of time to talk. Of course, it was hard to find something to talk about, since we were avoiding talking about my life, and his life, since it was part of what his brother was supposed to tell me.

"Emmitt can you pleeeaaase just tell me something," I whined.

He shook his head. "Sorry, Buff. Alice and Edward would kill me." My head snapped up and his eyes grew wide. "Shit!" he swore. "Shit, shit, shit!"

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Emmitt's pov:

Shit, shit, shit! I can't believe I just said that! Alice is going to have my head!

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Bella's pov:

I stared at him in shock. _Did he just say what I think he said?_ He looked back at me in horror. _Yes. Yes, he did_.

My mind froze. How could I have been so STUPID!!! _Duh, Buffy!_ I nearly cringed at the sarcasm, though, of course, it came from my own head. _How did you not see this before? Its sooooo obvious!_

I should have caught on when I learned Alice's name. Alice and Edward. Those were the two names I screamed out during my change and when I had nightmares. Well, I say Edward for the most part. I only called out for Alice every once in a while. I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

It made sense to me now that Alice would not want to tell me. Her brother was Edward, and I was apparently much closer to him than even her. In fact, considering his was the name I called out most often, I would think it was safe to guess he was maybe one of the most important people in my life.

I was suddenly very nervous. How had I known him? Was he my best friend? My boyfriend? Was I in love with him? What would he think when he found out I didn't even remember him?

Mr. Craig yelled at me to get in the game, and I turned to pretend to be playing. Emmitt followed me nervously, and looked as if he was about to say something. I held up my hand. "It's fine," I said, though it didn't seem to comfort him. "Really, you didn't tell me anything. Its not a big deal."

The bell rang and I smiled at him before running off to the locker rooms to change. I was eager to get to Calculus. (Wow. That sounded really wrong. I hate Calculus. Miss Pepper always tries to catch me off guard so that I'll get the answer wrong and embarrass myself. Not that I ever do...I know calculus better than she does.) I made a quick run to my locker, got my book and calculator, and still managed to be one of the first students there.

I sat down, again in the back of the classroom, (I told all of my teachers that I'm far sighted so I wouldn't have to be in the front), and waited for Jasper. More students began to enter, and an uncomforitable itch entered the back of my throat. _Great. _I thought. _Just great. I knew I should have gone hunting last night, but I put it off, and I'm obviously not going tonight._ I looked down at my hands and played with my fingers. I had found a number of years ago that if I could concentrate all of my attention on something relatively simple and hold it there, I stopped noticing the thirst.

I heard someone clear his throat from the doorway, far to quietly for human ears, and looked up to see a tall blonde boy with bruise-like shadows under his honey eyes. He smiled lightly and nodded at me before walking over to Miss Pepper's desk. I watched him hand her his schedual, and wait for her to gesture for him to sit down in the only available desk: the one next to mine.

She smiled brightly up at him and I restrained a laugh. The reason Miss Pepper hated me was because of all of the attention I got from the guys at school. She was a jealous and bitter woman. It wasn't that she was old. She was probably only in her late twenties, and she was decent looking, but from what I heard, she couldn't hold on to a boyfriend. She was obviously checking Jasper out, and so was just about every other girl in the classroom.

"Hello Jasper," she used her sweetest, most fake voice. "Welcome to Silverdale. Do you like it here so far?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust and considered making gagging noises. It was disgusting! She was a hitting on one of her students! Jasper nodded and she continued. "Well," she said, "If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask me." She batted her eyelashes and gestured to the seat next to mine, frowning at me as she did so.

He turned and began to walk to his desk. I held back laughter as he sat down beside me. "Amused?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

I smiled. "Extremely," I said. "I suppose you have the same orders as everyone else: leave Buffy in the dark."

"Unfortunately for you," he answered, "Yes." I stared at him. I had wondered if I would recognize him, and I did. He was the same blonde boy that I had seen dancing with Alice at what I assumed was a prom in my daydream. I was fairly certain now that it had been a memory.

I sighed. This was all getting very frustrating. I could hardly contain myself, I wanted to know about my past so baddly, and being around people who could have told me only made it harder for me to feign patience. It was like reading a really good book. You want to know what happens at the end, and the entire time you're reading it you're fighting the temptation to read the last page**(a/n: I'm pretty sure we all felt that way when reading New Moon! lol!).** That's what it was normally like, but today it was like I was totally caught up in a book and forbidden to read it. I had to sit staring at it and not pick it up. It was torture.

"So, I suppose it is safe to assume that Alice disappeared this morning to forbid you all from telling me anything," I guessed. He nodded his head in affirmation and I crossed my arms and faced the front of the classroom.

Now that I understood why she had done it, it was harder for me to be irritated with Alice, but that didn't stop me from being frustrated and impatient. I was happy to get to meet all of the Cullens, and they already felt like family, but the day seemed to be creeping along. I wanted school to be over already so I could ask my questions and actually get some answers.

I felt like I should recognise these people. They were all so familiar, and I loved them, though I had just met them today. I hated that I couldn't remember them, though they all probably had plenty of memories of me. _Does it bother them that I didn't know their names until Alice talked about them. That if I had just seen them all at once, rather than one in each class when I already knew which one I was supposed to see, I wouldn't have stood a chance in telling one from the other?_ I couldn't imagine how it could not.

It made me sad to think about. They all loved me. I could tell, and I hated that I wasn't the same person that they all knew. I wanted to be, but I didn't even know who that person was. I didn't know who I was. I had felt empty and lost for as long as I can remember, like something vital was missing, and there was a giant gaping hole in my chest. How could I be what I needed to be for them?

All I could do was hope that once Edward told me about my past I would remember, and I would find out who I was. Anxiety hit me full force at the thought. I was having such mixed feelings, I could hardly discern between them. I was excited on one hand. This is what I had always wanted. I had waited ten years for this, and in just a few short hours, I would hear about my human life. I would meet the Edward from my dreams. I wanted it, yet I was terrified.

What if it wasn't what I thought it was? What if I didn't like who I turned out to be? What if I never remembered, even with the Cullen's help?

And how did I know Edward? He had obviously been very important to me when I was alive. Would he be hurt that I didn't remember him? I didn't want to hurt anyone. Had we been just friends, or more than that? And where did that leave us now? I was overwhelmed and confused and worried and excited and scared and happy and sad. I was a mess.

"Since when have you been so bipolar," Jasper asked from beside me, eyebrows raised.

He startled me, and my eyes widened in surprise. "Wha--what do you mean?" I asked. My face was absurdely easy to read, but I had thought that I was doing a rater good job at hiding what I was thinking...I guess not.

He rolled his eyes. "I suppose Alice didn't tell you about our powers?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Well, she didn't tell me much of anything," I answered. "But she did tell me about her visions. Why?" I asked nervously. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Well," he grinned. "I'm some sort of empath." I drew a sharp breathe. Holly was into all sorts of metaphysical stuff, so I had heard all about different types of psychics. I knew what an empath was. "I can tell what you're feeling, and even change it if I want to."

I turned my head in embarassment, which only got worse when I realized it was no use. He could feel that, too. I might as well explain myself. I sighed and stopped pretending to pay attention to the lesson. "I'm excited of course. I want to know about my past more than anything, but I'm scared, too. I don't even know who I am anymore. What if I can never be that person again? What if my life wasn't what I thought it was? What if all of this is in vain, and I never recover one single memory? I'm confused, because I can't figure out how what little I **do** know could fit together. How, for example, could I have been so close to you all? Human-vampire relationships never work! I'm happy to get to meet you and your family, but it makes me sad that while you all have memories of me, I have none of you. You're all uncannily familiar, and its trippy deja vu, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't remember anything...that I don't even know who I am."

I looked down at my hands on the desk. Here I was pouring out everything to a complete stranger in the middle of class. There must really be something wrong with me today. Well, I suppose he wasn't a complete stranger. I had known him at some point, but it had been a long time ago and I didn't remember him, so did I still know him? "It's overwhelming," I finished.

I could see him watching me out of the corner of my eye, and it began to make me feel a little uncomforitable. He noticed of course, and turned to the front of the class. "You don't need to worry, you know." he said. I looked at him and felt a wave of calm wash over me. "You will remember...eventually. And if it makes you feel any better, I think a lot more will come back to you tonight then you're expecting."

I was about to ask him what he meant, but just then the bell rang and we were rushing out the door, where Alice was waiting for us excitedly and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Lunchtime!" she sang.

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Still Bella's pov:

Unfortunatey, I played hookey last Friday, so I had a test to make up during lunch. I would have loved to do it some other time, but my teacher had made it perfectly clear that it had to be today. It was either at lunch or after school, and there was no way in hell I was going to take it today after school.

It was absurdly easy, as all my tests were, and I finished a test that had taken about an hour for the rest of the class in less than half the time. I probably could have finished even faster, but I have to be careful not to draw too much attention to myself or my family. I left the classroom just as the bell rang, and I decided it was best I went straight to class.

I had French right after lunch, so I would be meeting Rosalie. I got there early enough, but there she was, already sitting at the table we would be sharing. I smiled shyly and she returned the gesture as I slipped gracefully into my seat.

She was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. In fact, Evangeline was the only person I had ever met that could even compare. She a long, super model build, much like Evangeline, and pale, blonde hair. Like Alice, Jasper and Emmitt, she seemed familiar, but she didn't seem as open with me as they had. She seemed...guilty. She looked pleadingly at me until she saw me looking back, and then she looked quickly away.

The class soon filled and Madame Fraises began the day's lesson. I wasn't really paying attention, but Rosalie and I didn't talk either. It wasn't the comforitable companion silence. It felt...akward and tense. I felt bad, but I was happy when the class ended and I could make my escape. English was my last period of the day, and now I had a friend in the class.

I got there before Alice and sat down in my seat waiting for her. After a few moments, she walked in, went through the routine of showing her schedual to the teacher, and sat down beside me. Neither of us talked much. We were both too excited, and it took all of our willpower, I think, not to bolt out the door. Alice looked like her head was going to shoot off her body and into outer space with impatience at any moment, and when the bell finally rang, we were the first ones out the door and into the parking lot.

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We had already decided to take my car. The rest of the Cullens would come a little later, since they all had to run paperwork to the office first. They took Alice's stuff as well, so that she could go with me, and my family all rode back in Evangeline's corvette.

We weaved excitedly through the rows of parked cars, fighting the impulse to run vampire style, but knowing we couldn't do that with all of the surveylance cameras around. We finally reached my volvo after what seemed like an eternity, and I dug into my pocket for the keys. I unlocked the door and started to get in when I noticed Alice gaping at me.

"What?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. She looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head.

"This is your car?" she asked incredulously.

I nodded and she opened her door. "Why?"

"Nothing," she mumbled and shook her head. She slipped into her seat and I did the same, putting the key into the ignition and starting the engine. I didn't believe her of course. Something was wrong, but I would ask her about it later. Right now I couldn't focus on anything but hurrying up and getting to her house. We rode in silence, and for once in my life, I wanted to go fast. I drove there at 130 miles an hour, zipping through windy forest roads. It was surprising Alice still managed to warn me when we had to make a turn before I passed it. We got there within three minutes and were immidiately out of our seats and heading up the pathway that lead to the mansion that she called a house.

It was massive, and could have passed for a cabin if it hadn't been three stories high and at least eight times the size of a cabin. The site was surrounded by forests, and the large lawn had scattered trees surrounded by wildflowers. It was gorgeous, and I probably would have liked to admire it if I weren't in such a rush. I ran toward the front door only two steps behind Alice and waited as she opened the door.

We stood in a large and welcoming entry way, looking ahead through large double doors that opened into a family room. I looked over at Alice who hadn't moved, and saw that she was staring expectantly at the landing on the top of the large staircase to our left. I followed her gaze and a moment later, the most beautiful boy I had ever seen was standing there, staring back at me.

He had untidy bronze hair and bruise-like shadows under his topaz eyes. His mouth was gaping and his eyes were wide with shock. I felt like my heart had stopped beating, though of course it had years ago, and the breath caught in my throat. I watched breathlessly, as if in slow motion, as the emotions flitted across his face.

I couldn't believe he was real! He was even more amazing in person, and I could hardly believe the angel from my dreams was truely here! _Am I dreaming again?_

After a moment of starring at me, his face split into a brilliant, heart-breaking smile, and before I could blink, he ad bounded down the stairs and I was in his arms.

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**REVIEW!!!!!** **Seriously you guys, every time I get a new review I get SOOOOO stoked, and that only makes me want to write more. So review!! And I'll try to get the next chapter out really soon, but it might take a while, 'cause I'm anticipating another really long chapter. Not quite so long as this one, but long. Maybe really fluffy? Hmmm...thinking about that one, because I'm really craving some good fluff, but there's a lot I have to get in, too. I do have a plotline for this story, but I think I could maybe slip in a little fluff.**

**Tell me what you guys think. Push the pretty button! Do it...Doooo it! lol!**

**I love my readers!**

**Poe**


	8. The Last Ten Years

**Wow guys. I'm sorry it took me so long to put this up. I think its only been like, three days, but this isn't reall that long of a chapter. I was thinking it would at first, because I was going to put in a lot of the dialogue, but you guys really don't need all of that. I've already told you a lot of this what I would have put in in flashbacks, and I don't want to be redundant.**

**It took me a long time to write this chapter, mostly because part of it is in Edward's pov, and that was really hard. I'm not sure that I really did it justice, but what can I say...I tried.**

**I'm going to say Im sorry ahead of time if this chapter is a bit of a disappointment. Its not all that exciting, but fear not, because now that I have this out of the way, I can write all of the amazing fluff I've been planning. Yay, fluff! lol! I'll probably post it Friday night, so you don't have long to wait. **

**As always THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS!!! I love you guys! You make me want to keep writing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. Stephenie Meyer does. The only charictor in this chapter that I created is Lilith...and she doesn't do much yet.**

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Edward's pov:

Silverdale, Washington. That's where my family lives now. Its a tiny little town near Seattle with only one high school, overcast skies and surrounding forests that remind me of somewhere else.

I can tell that my family is especially worried about me. This place reminds them of Forks, too, but honestly, it doesn't matter. I will think of her every moment of my immortal existance no matter where I am.

Even now, ten years later and lying alone in my room starring up at the ceiling, I close my eyes and I can see her. Her pale face flushed crimson with embarassment. Her deep, brown eyes wide. Her chocolate hair flowing around her face. Her thin, frail body, warm with life, reaching for my cold dead one.

How could she have loved **me**? A monster? How could she have listened to what we were without flinching, screaming and running away? "It doesn't matter," she said, and she embraced us for what we were. Anyone else would have been terrified, but she said I made her feel safe. Where others kept their distance, she felt drawn to us. Others would have felt hatred, fear and mistrust if they knew what we were, but she trusted us completely and felt nothing but love. She wanted to be one of us. She wanted to spend eternity with me.

I wanted to spent eternity with her...to be able to hold her and kiss her without restraint, but I loved her too much to take her soul and damn her to the life I lived. As much as I wanted her for myself, I couldn't take her humanity away from her. I couldn't turn her into a monster, even if she didn't see it that way.

So I left. I left because I truely thought it was what was best for her. I knew I was hurting her, and the thought tore me apart, but I at least thought that she would move on with her life. She would find someone else cringe who could be with her without having to control the hunger for her blood. She would be able to live a normal life. She could grow old and have children and grandchildren. I wanted her to have everything, and I just couldn't give it to her. So I let her go...

I never thought it would end like this. I thought she would be safe. I thought I was doing what was best for her, and that she'd live out a long and happy life without me. I was wrong.

She died. She died because I wasn't there to protect her. By leaving her I had killed her, and I would never stop wondering what she had been thinking in her last moments. Was she scared? Bella never did seem to have any sense of self preservation. Did she suffer? Did she wonder why I wasn't there to save her? I hated that she died not knowing how much I loved her. That she believed my lie, even though I had needed her to. I was torturing myself, but I deserved it. This was my fault, and there was no one to blame but myself.

A slideshow of memories filled my vision, and I immersed myself once again in my world of dreams. _Bella._ I pictured her beautiful face smiling up at me in wonder. Her eyes glazing over as I "dazzled" her. Her playful glaring...pouting so adorably...

I wanted to hold her in my stone arms just one more time. To press my cold lips to hers. To run my fingers down her cheek and catch her as she made a nose dive. I wanted to feel her warm body next to mine as she slept and humm her lulliby as her breathing slowed. craved that intoxicating scent and the sound of her laugh. I would have given anything...

The pain was unbearable. I didn't want to exist anymore. I wanted to end myself, but my family stopped me when I tried, and now they would never let me out of their sight long enough for me to pull it off. They didn't understand. How could they? They all loved and mourned Bella, but they had eachother. Bella was my life, and the only woman I will ever love. There can be no one else, and seeing all of them, happy with their soul mate while mine is lost forever tears at my heart.

I could hardly stand to be around them, so I spent most of my time alone in my room. Or tried anyway. Ever since Lilith has been added to the family, she wont leave me alone. I think that she has it in her mind that someday we will end up together, but I know better. I could never love her. I could never have even the slightest feelings for anyone other than Bella. She was special. My angel.

Thinking of Lilith, I realised my siblings would be home any minute now, and if I didn't want her to shadow me until it was time for her to go to school the next day, I should take off. Thank heavens Carlisile had told her she had to go to school, or I would never have gotten away.

I snapped open my eyes, sat up, and took a quick look around. My bedroom was extremely bare, with only the bed and a brown couch that sat in the corner. I had gotten rid of everything else after I left Forks, and didn't have any interest in replacing any of it. I got slowly off the bed and ran to the stairs. What I saw there stopped me in my tracks.

At first I thought I was hallucinating. It wouldn't have been the first time, but then I noticed that this was different from what I normally saw. Ordinarily, my mind would paint up pictures of Bella as she had been before that day in the woods when I broke her heart. I saw her healthy and smiling, but the girl I saw before me was different. She looked up from beside Alice with as much shock as I'm sure was showing on my face, and her eyes were topaz like mine. She was thinner and curvier and had bruiselike shadows under her eyes. I had never pictured her as a vampire, so that only left one option.

Bella

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_last time:_

_After a moment of starring at me, his face split into a brilliant, heart-breaking smile, and before I could blink, he had bounded down the stairs and I was in his arms._

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Bella's pov:

A bolt of electricity shot through my heart and a nest of butterflies fluttered around in my stomache and chest. I felt as though my whole body was tingling and my heart had burst into flames. My body felt like warm water, and I probably would have fallen if he hadn't been there holding me up. All of the anxiety I had been feeling earlier in the day was forgotten and replaced with the most powerful emotion I could ever remember feeling.

I melted into his chest and closed my eyes, breathing in his heavenly scent. All of the emptiness I had felt over the years was filled. The hole in my chest was gone. Nothing was missing, and everything was right with the world. His breathing was heavy, his face was burried in my hair, and my skin burned pleasantly wherever he touched me.

The world around us disappeared, and all that existed in the world was the two of us. I couldn't believe he was real. I couldn't believe I really got to touch him...that I was really in his arms. All too soon his head snapped up to look over at Alice, who I had forgotten was standing there. They looked at eachother for a moment, as though communicating a silent message, before he looked back down at me. His beautiful topaz eyes grew wide with shock and...was he worried about something?

Just then, four more vampires burst through the front door. Jasper, Emmitt and Rosaile smiled at me, but the other girl glared. I was slightly taken aback. Had I done something to her when I was human? She didn't seem familiar to me like the others had, but I merely shrugged it off and turned to look back at Edward who took my hand and led me into the family room. The others followed, and as we all sat down, we were joined by two more vampires who came in through a door on the side of the room. The looked to be in their mid to late twenties, and they both walked over to me smiling. The woman immidiately wrapped me in a motherly hug and whispered, "Its so great to have you back!" She was beautiful, and her honey hair flowed around her heart-shaped face. I couldn't help but smile in return before looking at the blonde man at her side, who was also smiling down at me. "I think we'd all like to know what happened to---Buffy," he paused before my name, and motioned to the couches around us.

I looked at Edward, who smiled and sat down, pulling me onto his lap where I snuggled up against his chest. His arms wrapped protectively around me, and I sighed contently. Alice smiled at me and pointed to the three vampires I didn't know yet, and told me their names. Carlisile and Esme sat together on the couch across from us, and Emmitt, Rosalie and Jasper sat together on another. Alice bounced around in excitement for a moment before ploping down next to Jasper. It was amazing how graceful looked even when she was plopping. Lilith sat alone on one of the chairs, glaring at me through narrowed eyes.

"So, Buffy," Alice began. Her eyes sparkled with excitement and she wiggled around impatiently. "What have you been up to for the past ten years."

"Well," I started, looking up at Edward. "I don't really know who changed me. An old friend of Evangeline's, Olivia, was travelling through the forests when she picked up the scent of another vampire." I took a deep breath and continued. "She ran towards it, curious, and stumbled across me. I had just began the change, and she didn't want to leave me there all alone, so she took me to the Matthews. When I woke up, I didn't remember anything. Not even my own name."

I explained the past ten years, while all of the Cullens listened intently. I told them about all of the places I'd lived and for how long, my year of searching, and finally, moving to Silverdale. I told them everything, except that I had screamed out their names during my change and nightmares, and the images I had seen, both this morning of Alice, and the ones I had been having for years of Edward. It just didn't seem like the right time, so I decided to wait until later.

It took me about forty-five minutes to explain everything, and when I was finally finished, I looked up at Edward. He hugged me to himself, pulled me to my feet, and it was then that I realized that everyone else had left the room, and we were alone.

My worries concerning him seemed stupid now. We were obviously more than just friends, as I should have known considering it was him I called for in my sleep and his face I remembered. It had been less than an hour, but I knew already that I was deeply in love with him. He was the reason why I could never be interested that way in anyone else. How could I, when I was meant for him and only him.

He took both of my hands in his, and I felt myself sinking into his topaz pools. My unbeating heart fluttered as he reached up to touch my cheek. "Your name," he whispered in the velvety voice I had already come to love. "Is Isabella Marie Swan." He grinned. "But you like to be called Bella."

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**In case you guys are wondering, yes, Edward is about to tell Bella everything. And I promise the next chapter will be better, so DON'T GIVE UP ON ME YET!!! lol! I'm planning lots of fluff. I think it may even be a purely fluff chapter. And within the next two or three chapters you'll get a lot of your questions answered, like how Lilith joined the family, how 'Buffy's' family reacts, and what Rosalie is so guilty about. No, its not for how she treated Bella as a human.**

**I'm planning on updating Friday night (my time of course, which is Pacific if youre wondering), but if you want me to you need to REVIEW!!! I want lots of reviews for this chapter. They really make my day. I obsessively read them and watch the numbers of hits my story has, and how many ppl liked it enough to put it on their favs or update list. So yeah... review. **

**I love my readers**

**poe**


	9. I Love You

**Yay! I got the chapter up in time. Its not my best, because I hardly even edited it, and to be honest, I wrote most of this early this morning before I went to school. (My sister and I take turns getting up early to use the computer, since I have a very large and sometimes annoying family who always wants to steal the computer from me.) Tell me what you think, since I'm not so sure of it myself. I personally hate it, but I can't put my finger on why, so i just figure its cause I wrote it, and i'm always really harsh on my own stuff.**

**Also, thank you SOOO much for my reviews. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate them. Also, don't be afraid to tell me what you really think. If there's something you don't like, tell me. I always want to know what you guys think, and it helps me to improve, so I promise not to get angry or offended! lol! that doesn't mean I want random ppl to just say they hate it, but if theres a reason and something i could improve, PLEASE tell me. I do pay attention, which is why I think im going to stop doing flashbacks. enough ppl were annoyed that i think it would be a good idea. same with changing povs a lot telling basically the same thing. I mostly wanted to experiment with it and see if I could pull off different charictors, but if its annoying i'll stop. actually, i revise that. I wont do flashbacks unless i absolutely need to. theres a few things im going to explain in the next chapter or two (how lilith came to the family, why alice is pissed at rosalie, why rosalie's so guilty toward bella) that i can really only do a good job explaining in that way, but i promise those flashbacks will be to the point, and only in one pov. so yeah...thanx for reading this, and i hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, or any of the amazing charictors that Stephenie Meyer created. Normally this is the part where I would list the charictors I DID create, trying to make myself fell better, but none of them are even in this chapter, so why bother...**

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Bella's pov:

For the next several hours, Edward and I lay upstairs on his bed facing eachother as he told me everything. He started with what he knew of my life before he met me, and when he came to the part where I moved to Forks, he described everything in such vivid detail, I felt as though I were really there.

Of course, I suppose I really was there, but not remembering, it was hard to connect myself to my past. Whatever I found out about myself seemed like something I was watching from outside myself. What Edward told me, I felt like I was experiacing.

He remembered every aspect of every moment we spent together, from what we were wearing to what was said and the expressions on my face as I said them. Apparently he had paid a lot of attention to the way I said things, since he couldn't read my mind and it was the only way he could analyze what I was truely thinking.

Being with him was amazing, and I couldn't believe that all day I had been nervous and wondering if it would be awkward. It felt so natural, and though logic told me I shouldn't feel so comforitable in his lap or snuggling up to his chest, nothing had ever felt more right, and I could never remember being so utterly...happy.

I hoped he wasn't upset that I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't see how he could not be, but if he was, he never let on. He seemed at bliss, as though the fact that I was alive and there with him was enough. I hoped it was anyway, because just having him there was enough for me. I hardly even cared that I didn't remember. Infact, I only cared if Edward cared, and I couldn't find it in myself to want to complain.

I could tell he didn't want to talk about what the last ten years had been like for him, and I didn't push it. Instead, I lay there looking up into his eyes and enjoyed the moment, until he finally spoke.

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Edward's pov:

I was supposed to be damned. I'm not supposed to have a soul. I'm a monster, so I just couldn't get over the fact that God had given me an angel. All of those years of misery were worth it for one moment with her, and I could handle anything as long as she was with me. I love her. I love her so much it physically hurts, but its the most wonerful pain in the world. Gawd, how I've missed her!

I couldn't get over the fact, even now, that she could really love me, but it must be meant to be. I must be as ingraved in her heart as she is in mine, becaue when I saw her and ran to her, she melted into my arms. She inhaled my scent as she always had and burried her face in my chest.

I was sure she could tell, but I wanted to tell her that I loved her. That I couldn't function without her, and her very presence was the most wonderful gift that had ever been given to me. I didn't want her to know what a mess I had been without her, or how much pain I was in, but I knew now was the time to declare myself, and she had the right to know everything.

"I love you, Bella." Her big, dow-like eyes that were now topaz like my own starred up at me in such happiness it took my breath away. She started to move toward me as if to kiss me, but I stopped her. As much as I wanted her beautiful lips on mine, I had to finish saying this, and I would forget the moment we touched. "You are my life and my reason for existance. I was a mess without you."

I took a deep breath and continued, saddness filled my eyes as I thought of the years I had spent without her. Thank God my family had stopped me from ending myself. "I'm so sorry." Gawd, I was sorry. All of this was my fault! If I would have listened when Alice, backed up by the rest of my family, told me it was meant to be, she would never have been attacked. She would still remember, and she wouldn't have had to go through the past ten years alone and confused. (Well, not really alone. She had a family, but I know full well that as much as you love your family, its not enough. Without Bella in my life, I could be surrounded by people and still be utterly alone.) If I would only have listened when she said she wanted to spend eternity with me, we wouldn't have had to go through all of the pain and lost so much time. I just couldn't believe she would really want to be with me, and I was terrified that one day she would realize that it had been a mistake, and her humanity and her soul would already be gone. I would have taken it from her, and she would hate me forever. I finally understood that that could never happen. That she needed me as much as I needed her.

"This is all my fault," I said squeezing my eyes shut tightly and shaking my head. "I was so damn stubborn, I wouldn't listen to anyone else. "Believe me," I sat up and took her hands in mine, and she shot up infront of me, starring in horror. "Leaving you was the worst mistake of my life, and I was stupid to think it was the right thing to do. I was stupid to doubt how much you loved me. I should have listened to everyone, but I was so sure I knew what was right, that you'd be safe. I left you unprotected! Anything could have happened, and thinking that it did has hauted me every day since---"

I wasn't finished, but she held up her hand and silenced me. "Edward," she said my name pleadingly. I loved the way it sounded coming from her sweet mouth. I didn't deserve her. She was perfect. An angel, and I was a monster. Of course, she was a vampire now, too, but she was still my Bella. Sweet, loving, accepting and caring Bella. I hurt her, and only luck had stopped me from killing her. How could she look at me with so much love? I left her! She almost died because of me!

"Edward," she repeated. "Please don't do this to yourself." She was whispering, and her eyes looked so sad I wanted to take her in my arms and make her forget the whole thing. "It really isn't your fault. You thought you were doing the right thing, there was no way you could have known!!..." She moved her hand to rest on my cheek, and I closed my eyes in the shear pleasure of having her touch me again. "It was worth it," she mumbled, looking down and dropping her hand.

That got my attention. "What?" I asked. "How can you mean that? You couldn't even remember your own name, and I did that to you, Bella! This is my fault. If I had only known, if I had only listened..."

Her hands shot up to grab my face, and she starred intensely into my eyes. My breath hitched. I couldn't think with her so close, let alone continue to apologise. "Stop saying that! I said it was worth it and I mean it. Apart from losing my memory, it couldn't have worked out any better." I raised my eyebrows skeptically, and she seemed to take it as a challenge. Her face took on a determined stance as she continued to explain. "Now I'm a vampire like you, and we get to spend eternity together. You don't even have to feel guilty about changing me, because somebody else did it for you." Her eyes narrowed. "Not that I believe your nonsense about having no soul and being eternally damned." She had always hated that I believed that, just like she hated it when I called myself a monster. She thought I was the angel.

"There was no way you could have known this would happen. Not even Alice saw it coming, so how can you blame yourself? You were just trying to protect me, like you always have. Really, when you think about it, it was rather sweet that you were willing to give me up and go through so much pain to keep me safe. DONT EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!" I gave her a weak grin, trying to assure her with my face that there was no way I could ever do that. I wouldn't survive it, plain and simple, immortal or not.

"It didn't come about in the easiest way," she said. That was the understatement of the year. "But we learned something from this." I waited quietly for her to continue. "You learned that I really do love you as much as you love me, and that you can never, NEVER leave me again! We pretty much know for a fact now that we're meant to be together no matter what you think of me being a vampire, and that fate deliberately chose us for eachother. It wasn't an accident, and when you refused to change me, it took things into it own hands and did it for you." I smiled at that. She may have a point. I had thought, at a time that everything seemed to go against us, but in retrospect, I could see that all along it was helping, in a really twisted, roundabout and difficult way. "Honestly, the chances..." she trailed off.

"I really think we were just being tested. Our love was being tested, and obviously we found out that it can survive anything." How did she do that? How did she always manage to pull out the positive side of a bad situation and make it seem as though that was really the only way to see it. "You DO have a soul! If you didn't, you couldn't love me. You AREN'T damned, becuase if you were, we wouldn't be together."

Her tone changed suddenly, and she looked slightly sad. "I missed you too, you know," I froze. "I couldn't really remember, but I did. Since the first moment I woke up, you can ask my family, I was obsessed with finding out about my past. I felt like a part of me was missing, and I was desperate to find it. Desperate to find you. You're my life too, Edward, and you were the only memory that slipped through."

What was she saying? I didn't understand. Did she just say she remembered me? "When I tried to remember, I used dreaming and meditaion, and even though the actual memories were gone, I could see and hear you. My walls are literally covered with pictures of you that I drew trying to remember." If I were alive my heart would have stopped with pure joy. She remembered me! Not completely, but still! I was the most important part of her life, as she was the most important part of mine, and some part of her remembered despite everything! My cheeks were about to crack, my smile was so wide.

"I don't remember any of my dreams," she continued. "But according to my family, I wouldn't stop saying your name. You should know, Holly will probably be overjoyed to find out that you're a vampire. She was afraid I'd found my true love as a human and I'd have to spend eternity alone." she smiled. "They said I called for Alice a few times, too, but mostly I just screamed for you. I guess I still have a sleep-talking issue," she mumbled.

I smiled. I was so glad she could still sleep. I loved to hold her when she did, and listen as she dreamed of me. She bit her lip, "I didn't tell my family, because I didn't want them to think I was going insane, but after that first time I caught a glimse of you, I could think of little else. Slowly the image became clearer and clearer, but after a while, I really didn't care about my memory. I mostly just wanted to find you. I fell in love with you as a daydream, and that's the real reason why I went away for that year. I was hoping if I found wherever I was from, I could find you, or at least find out if you were real. There was never anyone else..."

I couldn't stand it any longer. Her face was only inches from mine, and the impulse to kiss her was overwhelming. I pulled her face to mine, and when our lips touched, there was no words that could describe it, except maybe magic. Electricity shot between us, and I felt her melt into me, wrapping her arms around my kneck and tangling her fingers in my hair. Finally I could kiss her without holding back. The way she deserved to be kissed.

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Bella's pov:

It was amazing! The moment his lips met mine, my breath caught in delight and electicity coursed through my body. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his kneck and ran my fingers through his hair. His arms enclosed around me, and he pulled me closer, until every part of me was touching every part of him. He ran his tongue along my bottome lip, and I gasped, quickly opening my mouth to let him in. Our tongues danced and rubbed together and his hands ran up and down my back, leaving me to shiver with pleasure. It was almost more than I could take, and I felt like my chest was going to break open and spill out all of the incredible love I was feeling. I never wanted it to end, but of course, all good things do.

"BELLAAAAA," someone called, interrupting our moment. We sighed and pulled apart reluctantly, just as Alice appeared in the doorway with a strage expression on her face. "What were you guys dooooinggg?" she asked teasingly.

"As if you don't already know," Edward rolled his eyes, and I swear her smile was as big as saturn's rings. She pranced across the room and leapt up onto the bed next to me.

"As much as I hate to have to interrupt your moment," she said, "_Buffy'_s family is getting impatient." she giggled. Obviously she wasn't ever going to let me live that down.

I sighed, and Edwards arms tightened around me. I didn't want to leave, but my family would want an explanation, and I could come back later. I smiled up at him. "Don't worry," I said. "I'll be back later tonight, but I'm sure they're all burning with excitement."

"Actually Bella," Alice corrected. "I think you'll probably be back early tomorrow morning. It's already 11:30."

My eyes widened. Had we really been talking for that long? Time really had flown. "Oh! I didn't know it was that late," I began. "Well, I supose its early tomorrow morning then." I hugged Edward and looked up at him. He leaned down to kiss me, then reluctantly let go of me. A part of me never wanted to leave his embrace, but another part of me couldn't wait to get home and tell my family! I kissed him quickly one more time, and rushed out the door and out to my car.

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**Okay, so now its time for you guys to review. I might update tomorrow, but only if i get lots of feedback. Also, tell me if you guys want more fluff before I get into the main conflict...dun, dun DUUUUN! victoria. And tell me what you think of this fluff. i call it more half fluff, cause it wasn't completely pointless, but it was kinda sweet. If you guys want more fluff next time, i can make it real fluff, cause I have a plan for it if you want me to, and it has nothing to do with the story. Just wonderful Edward and Bella fullnesss. I might put it in anyway, but I want to know what you guys think.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**poe**


	10. Rosalie

**I know this chapter took me forever to put up, and isn't very long. I took a little break for a few days. sorry. also, this entire chapter is in Rosalie's pov, and I don't think its really good. its hard to write in her pov, cause i feel like out of all of the charictors, I know her the least. no one else could tell it though, so next chapter will be back to Bella, and maybe Edward if I feel like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. Stephenie Meyer is the genius who thought up the amazing charictors in this story. **

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Rosalie's pov:

I sat alone at the vanity in the room that Emmitt and I shared. It was a large room, and had just been painted pastel pink last night. Emmitt groaned when I showed him the decore I was planning, but he fell silent when I gave him my infamous glare. It hadn't taken long to paint, funish, and unpack, having vampire speed, and the vanity and adjoining bathroom were already littered with toiletries and personal items. Emmitt kept all of his clothes in a small armior in the corner of the room, and my designer clothes, bags and shoes could be glimpsed through the doors to the giant walk-in closet that stood slightly ajar.

I sighed, looking down to examine my beautiful hands. The skin was pale and flawless, and my nails were clean, shiny, and perfectly shaped. I moved my long, slender fingers around and admired them. Everything about me was perfect. My complexion was a constant white that any woman would have envied. I was paler than albino, but it was lovely, as it was on all vampires. Thick, blonde locks cascaded around my shoulders and framed my delicate face, setting it off to perfection. All of my features were perfection. My build was thin and like a models, and my movements were easy and graceful. I was very vain about my appearance, but today, even my own beauty couldn't ease my guilt. I looked up into the reflexion of my topaz eyes and could see the remorse written all over my face.

_How can I possibly tell her!_ I thought anxiously. _How can I ask her forgiveness after what I have done?_

I got up from my seat in front of the vanity and began pacing the room. I could hardly believe Bella was alive! I stood gaping in shock this morning when Alice found Emm and I to tell us she was a vampire. She warned us not to tell her anything...that we should wait to let Edward explain everything, but I didn't miss the fact that she was shooting daggers at me the entire time, as though daring me to tell Bella something and just see what she would do to me.

I hated being on such bad terms with Alice, but I there was nothing I could do about it now. What was done was done. The rest of the family seemed to have forgiven me, though I know what I did hurt and disappointed every one of them. _WHY!!!_ I mentally shouted at myself. _Why did you do this!_

flashback

_It was September 16th, and I sat downstairs on the couch with my arms crossed, glaring around myself in pure fury. It was the eight year anniversary of the day Edward left Bella, and my family had so far done nothing but mope around. Carlisile had stayed home from the hospital to be with us all and Esme had spent the last several hours pacing the house, cleaning everything obsessively while trying to disguise her frequent sobs. Emmitt sat beside me, and starred at the blank tv with a tortured expression on his face, and had hardly moved in the six hours. Jasper had gone upstairs, trying to get away from the emotional overload, and Alice had gone with him. I could hear her sobbing into his chest, and the muffled sounds only increased my anger._

_As if Edward wasn't bad enough without the rest of them acting all depressed and worked up over a stupid human! There was nothing all that extrordinary about her, yet they all insisted on mourning her loss. I huffed, and strode angrily to the door. This time Emmitt didn't even bother to ask me where I was going, and I slammed the door shut on my way out. My fists balled up as I suppressed the urge to lunge for them all and beat and tear until I had provoked anger or fear...anything besides this intolerable grief! I wanted to throw things, breakable glass things, and scream that this was stupid! That she was nothing more than a ordinary, insignificant human!_

_I took off running into the forests that surrounded our house and let the burst of exhileration that comes with running mix with my raging anger. The air was wet, and a mist had settled over the forest, giving everything a strange, hazy glow. I weaved through massive redwoods and felt the cool wind rush against my face and pick up my hair, sending it twirling and dancing._

_I had never hated Bella. She had always been simply an annoyance to me, jeapardizing our family and unintentionally taunting me. I had everything. I was beautiful and graceful and rich, and always would be. I would never age or die...most humans dream of immortality, but I had it, and would have given almost anything to be a stupid human like she was. _

_It was amazing that some of the things humans took the most for granted were the things that were forever witheld from me. I couldn't help but look at her and want to shake some sense into her. She had what I wanted, and all she could do about it was beg to become one of us. She had no idea! There was no way she could possibly know what she was giving up. She thought that she knew, but there is no way she could possibly understand, and no one could ever make her understand. The only way to know was to experience it._

_It went beyond the horror of having to live off the deaths of others, and never feeling fully satisfied because it was animal blood, and not human that ran down your throat. It was beyond the terror that losing control to the monster inside brought. It was more, even, than the normal, simple things I lost when I was changed. I would never have children, or stay in one place long enough to have a career. I would never be among the girls who huddled in a circle swaping rumors and chatting happily about boys and paries and prom. I was stuck in between worlds. Between the living and the dead. Between teen and adult. I belonged in neither, really. I belonged no where. I was a misake. An abomination...a monster._

_The only thing I had was my family. Though I missed my humanity, I loved them all deeply, and they were the only positive of this damnation. The only thing that made me...grateful, in a way, for what we were. I was grateful to have met them. I belonged with them, when I belonged no where else._

_Bella, on the other hand, already did belong. She belonged with the living and with other teens her age. Her life was still moving forward. She wasn't frozen like I was. She could go on from high school to college and then a career and a family and children! She didn't need them like I did, she wasn't in between worlds like the rest of us were, but still they excepted her! Still they considered her family! They all insisted on protecting her every time she got into trouble, risking danger and exposure. Why should they all care so much about her? Why did they feel the need to take her in like some lost kitten._

_"I wish Edward had never met her," I thought bitterly. "I wish this family never met her!" Bella moving to Forks had destroyed the pleasant little life we had created. She and Edward spent practically every moment together. We never saw him anymore, and when we did, SHE was with him! Then, when he decided to leave, I thought everything would go back to the way things were. I was unhappy, in a way, about leaving Forks. We had all really liked it there, but I was willing to leave if it meant things could go back to normal. I thought everything would be better...I was wrong._

_It all went downhill from there. Edward was a wreck, and so was the rest of the family, to an extent. They all missed her! It was disgusting! They acted as if someone had died, and Edward retreated to his room for several weeks. He only came out to hunt, and only seldomly did that. I was furious! I had warned him! When he first met her, I warned him! I knew she would be trouble. I knew he should have just let her get hit by that truck. She would have been gone quickly and painlessly, and our family wouldn't be exposed or in the pain it was in now. My brother wouldn't be...broken._

_It wasn't long before he left. He said he loved us all, but he wanted to be alone. The rest of the family nodded and hugged him goodbye, telling him to come home soon, but was irate. How could he let a human affect him this way? I almost felt guilty for a moment, for yelling at him in my head for the past several weeks. I almost regretted all of the mean things I had said about Bella, reminding him of her when he didn't need reminders. Almost...then I grew angry._

_Angry with Bella. Angry that she had sucessfully destroyed the life we had known. Angry that my family was torn apart. Edward disappeared. Esme almost never smiled, and when she did, it was weak and full of pain. Carlisile always seemed so...somber, Alice stopped prancing around everywhere, and Emmitt, my Emmitt, almost never cracked a joke. Jasper felt so guilty for what happened, he all but dissappeared as well. Only Alice could get through to him. He felt responsible, but it wasn't his fault. A part of me knew it wasn't really Bella's fault ether, but I didn't care. It was so easy to blame her for everything. To tell myself that if Edward hadn't met her, everything would be fine._

_After a year, Emmitt and Jasper took off to hunt Edward down and drag him back home to us. I was anxious to have the family back together again, but again, I didn't get what I was expecting. I had never seen Edward such a mess. Apparently, when Jasper and Emmitt found him, he hadnt hunted in months and was curled up in the basement of an abandoned shop somewhere in South America. _

_The first thing he insisted on doing was going back to Forks to find Bella. He said he couldn't take it any longer, and he would beg for her forgiveness if he had to. I didn't like it, but I kept my mouth shut. I would prefer to not have Bella around, of course, but after a year of this, I was willing to surrender. If having Bella around would fix my family, I was more than happy to agree that he go. I might even be nice to her. None of us was expecting what came next._

_When we got there, we found out that Bella had died, a little over a year ago. Infact, she died in the woods the day we left. It was a horrible blow to my family. Suicide, Charlie told us. She hung herself in the meadow, and left a note behind, which he proceeded to show us. Bella's messy scrawl covered the page, and there were spots where either her tears, or Charlie's, splattered._

_Dad,  
I'm really sorry. I hate to do this to you, but I have to. I can't live in this world anymore. It hurts too much, and I need the pain to end. Please know that I love you, and none of this was your fault. I'm so grateful for getting to spend the last year living with you. Tell Rene I love her too.  
Bella_

_How anyone found her in that secluded meadow Edward used to take her to was beyond me, but I didn't want to ask. Everyone seemed to barely keeping it together as it was, though of course, that didn't last long. Edward lost it as soon as we left Bella's house, and before any of us knew what was going on, he had run off to Volterra, Italy to ask the Volturi to kill him. We barely managed to stop him, and since that fateful day, he's only left his room to hunt._

_Eight years...it had been eight years since my family stopped functioning, and I was sick of it! I wanted them all back. Everyone but Edward acted almost normal most of the time now, but the moment they saw something that reminded them of her, the moment they saw that look in Edward's eyes, they mourned all over again. The anniversarys were the worst..._

_I didn't see why Edward didn't just move on with his life. Bella was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't save her this time, and no amount of moping around was going to bring her back. He should find someone new. A vampire. He needed a vampire mate. Someone he could really be with. Someone who was his equal, and who wouldn't die and leave him in pieces. Someone who wouldn't tear this family apart._

_It was strange really, but right at that moment, I picked up an unfamiliar scent. It was still far away, probably three or four miles, but I could smell a human. What I was thinking at that moment is still a mystery to me, but I ran as fast as I could towards it, past giant redwoods and ferns and a stream, until I found the source of the delicious aroma._

_There she was. She sat leaning against a tree, toying with a fern and humming softly to herself. Her hair was thick and brown, pulled back with a white headbacd and twisting down her back and around her shoulders. She was the most beautiful human girl I had ever seen, and though I'm sure I made no sound approaching her, she looked up at me as I drew near and gave me a questioning look._

_Her eyes were the most startling green color I had ever seen, and her mouth was full and red. I stepped closer, but she didn't say anything. She just kept running her long, pale fingers over the fern in her hand and looking calmly up at me. What was she doing all alone in the woods miles from civilization or even a trail?_

_Before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed her and pierced my fangs through the soft, pale flesh of her throat. Venom flooded my mouth and poured into her, and her thick, warm blood filled my senses._

_This is the perfect solution, I thought. She could be the perfect mate for Edward! He can finally find out what love really feels like. He can be with her without constantly having to worry about breaking her. My family will except her with open arms, and they can forget all about Bella. We can be a family again, I thought. We can be happy._

_She gasped, but never screamed or put up a struggle, and after a few moments, I released her and stepped away. Her eyes were wide and full of fear, and looking down at her, I was suddenly filled with horror. _

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**Also, tell me if you guys want more fluff or if you just want me to get to the conflift already.**

**poe**


	11. authors note

**Wow you guys. After the chapter I posted last Friday, I was really disappointed that I didn't get more reviews and my hits were going down with each chapter. I just started reading over what I've written though, and I have to say I'm sorry. It really wasn't written well. I guess I've been rushing it when I should have spent more time editing and making it flow better. So it might take me a little longer to update from now on, especially since I have finals coming up so I'll have to study a bit, but I'm going to spend longer on this story and make it better. Thank you for those of you who have been hanging in with me. I know its a really good story idea, and I have lots of unexpected twists already planned, so from now on I'm just going to concentrate on making it sound better.**

**I'm sorry for posting a stupid authors note, but I figured it wouldn't be so bad, because I just posted a chapter about two hours ago, so its not like i'm falsly getting your hopes up...at least I hope.**

**I love you guys.**

**poe**


	12. Ash

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon or any of Stephenie Meyer's amazing charictors.**

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Bella's PoV:

I didn't want to leave yet. If I could have, I would have stayed like that all night, just lying in Edward's arms, but I knew I had to go fill my family in. They deserved to know everything. For the past ten years, they have been there everytime I needed them, and have helped me in every way they could in my quest to remember.

I ran swiftly down the stairs, saying goodbye to everyone as I went. Outside, it was cold and raining. Though Edward told me I had hated the rain as a human, I had come to love it as a vampire. It was soothing, and since I was already cold, the temperature didn't bother me. I took off running into the night, not bothering to take my car. I would be back before I needed it, and I loved to run. The wind zipped past me, and a thousand different scents assulted my senses.

It only took a few minutes to reach my house, and I could tell immediately by the squeals I heard inside that my family had been anxiously awaiting my arrival. I had barely stepped onto the front porch before a very excited Holly ran up to me, knocking me laughing to the ground. "Eeeeek, Buffy, tell us what happened," she cried from on top of me. Her red hair was wild and her eyes were wide with excitement. "Is Alice Cullen the same Alice you called for in your dreams? Did she tell you about Edward? How did you know them? What's your real name---"

I stopped the flow of questions by putting my hand over her mouth, and looked over to see Evangeline, Roan and Basil laughing from the doorway. Still smiling and looking very impatient, Holly got off of me and helped pull me to my feet before grabbing my hand and dragging me into the house. Within moments, Basil, Roan, Holly and Evangeline were seated and looking expectantly at me. "Where's Ash?" I asked looking around, just as he came into the room.

Unlike the others, he didn't seem excited to find out what had happened to me. His face was hard and cold, and he glared around before sitting down and crossing his arms. My eyes narrowed when I saw him, but I ignored him. If he didn't want to be happy for me, there was nothing I could do about it. Whatever his problem was, was just that, _his_ problem. I wasn't going to deal with it, so I began, just as Evangeline shot him a look that looked a lot like a warning.

"First of all," I smiled at Holly. "My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but I preffer being called Bella. Yes, Alice Cullen is the same Alice I asked for in my dreams, and she didn't tell me about Edward, she took me to him."

I had planned on answering all of her questions before embellishing on anything, but with that last part Evangeline gasped, Holly squealed, and Roan and Basil stared gaping wide-eyed at me. Ash scowled from his corner and his hands curled into fists, but I hardly noticed as a flash of red clouded my vision as Holly had sucessfully dove across the room and pulled me into a crushing hug. "Oh, Buffy--I mean Bella! I'm so happy for you!" She sobbed into my shoulder. "I was so worried he was your soul mate and you would never even get to meet or remember him!" She looked up at me, and her happiness turned to horror in a moment. "Oh my gawd!" she exclaimed. "It's been ten years! We have to hurry up and change him before he gets too much older than you!"

I laughed, and she looked at me incredulously. "What!" she asked. "You do love him, right? I thought he must be your soul mate. Especially when I saw how happy you were when you came home just now."

I smiled at her. "Yes, I love him," I answered. "Very much. That's not why I was laughing. I was laughing because he's already a vampire. He has been for almost one hundred years!"

Everyone was shocked. Even Ash stopped scowling to gape at me. "What the hell do you mean, almost one hundred years," he asked. Ash was really starting to get on my nerves tonight. He didn't have any right to be jealous or upset, and he certainly didn't have the right to talk to me that way. "That's absurd! Vampire-human relationships don't work!"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, apparently they do," I replied in a menacing voice. "Because we were together quite a while when I was human, and I was even his singer." Evangeline and Roan exchanged a meaningful look while everyone else furrowed their brows in confustion. Basil shot a look at Ash before smacking him in the back of the head and going over to pull me into a hug then lounging at my side with his arm around my shoulders. I smiled up at him and hugged him. He was in every way my protective older brother, and my trusted confidant.

"Wow," Evangeline breathed. "I've never heard of anything like it."

"I've never even heard of a vampire and human becoming friends, let alone falling in love," Roan said in wonder. "With you being his singer on top of everything, I really don't know how he managed!"

Holly huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Is anyone going to tell us what a 'singer' is, or are we supposed to read your minds?" I couldn't help but laugh at her apparent frustration, and hugged her around the middle as she stood in front of me facing Roan and Evangeline. Her face softened a bit, and she smiled at me.

"Basically," Roan explained. "sometimes, though very rarely, a vampire will run across a human that smells different from everyone else. Far more delicious, and its nearly impossible to resist. Actually, Bella's case is the only one I've ever heard of where the vampire managed to not to suck the human dry. I don't think I've ever even heard of a vampire _trying_ to resist, and the call to that human's blood is irrisistable."

Her eyes widened and her mouth fomed a little "O." "Wow, Buff---" she began, but Ash interrupted her.

"So basically," he said smoothly, "This guy's a total freak---"

I knew he was just jealous. I knew I should probably just ignore him and let him get over it, but I was angry enough to want to hit him. He didn't even know Edward, and he was already judging him. Edward resisted because he loved me. Because he would never want to hurt me or lose me. It was sweet and amazing that he found the strength to fight that side of him for me. Ash was my brother, but I would choose Edward over him if it ever came to that without a moments hesitation.

My eyes narrowed dangerously, but before I could do anything, Basil was up and had kicked his chair over. "Shut up, Ash." he snapped, and I was filled with appreciation. "You don't even know what you're talking about. You're just jealous 'cause you were hoping whoever she loved as a human couldn't compete with you. You're the one who obviously can't compete."

I'm sure Basil didn't mean to sound so harsh, but the way Ash had acted towards me in the past several years had been getting on everyone's nerves. I had made it very obvious that I wasn't interested in him that way, but he wouldn't let it go. He threw a fit every time another guy looked at me when it wasn't his place to be jealous or possessive. It wasn't as if he didn't have enough girls as it was.

If Ash were a human, his face would be purple, but he wasn't, so instead he turned a sickening grey color. "Ash," Roan warned. "Calm down."

"I don't have to compete," Ash spat. I swear, he was such a child sometimes. "I love you, Buffy, and he can't! That's right, I called you Buffy, 'cause that's your name. You may have been Bella as a human, but you aren't a human anymore, and you don't know him anymore. You know me!"

"You're wrong, Ash," I said in a dangerous voice. "I am Bella, and I love Edward. And you know what? I did before today, too. I remembered him, even if not clearly. Have you been in my room lately? Have you seen the pictures that cover my walls? Meet Edward." It was a good thing Ash and I didn't have Holly's power, or the house would have gone up in flames a long time ago. "His face is permanently burned into my mind. I've seen him every time I've closed my eyes in the past eight years. And guess what else? That year I took off to search Oregon and Washington? I wasn't searching for my past. I was searching for him. I wanted to find the town I was from so I could see if he was there. To see if he ever existed or if he was just a beautiful figment of my imagination that could never be matched in real life."

"It's easy to say that now---" Ash began.

"No," Basil cut in for me. "She told me all of that before she left. She was already sure she was in love with her 'daydream angel' as she put it. She just wasn't sure that he was real."

I smiled a thanks to Basil then turned to Ash. "Ash," I began kindly. "You don't love me. You think you do, but its just a stupid infatuation. You don't really know me. You've been too buisy crushing on me to get to know me. It's like you already had an image in your mind of what you thought I was, and you fell in love with that...not me."

I chewed on my lip and looked at him with sympathy. He was shaking, and I think if he were human, he would have had tears running down his face. Angry tears, but he was still my brother, even if he didn't think of me that way, and I loved him. I wanted to go to him and hug him, but I knew he'd take that the wrong way, and it would only make things worse.

"You'll always be Buffy to me," he choked out before running from the room. I hated to see him leave. I wanted everything to be okay between us. I wanted him to be happy for me. I didn't need his permission or his blessing, but that doesn't mean I didn't want it. He was still family.

Holly looked torn. She and Ash argued all the time, but they were especially close. I could tell she wanted to go to him and comfort him, even if she thought it was only a crush, too, but she also wanted to hear what happened to me tonight. After a few moments of indecision, she finally decided to stay here.

"He probably needs some time alone now, anyway," Basil said as he wrapped his arm around Holly and kissed her forehead. "You don't agree with him either, so I doubt very much that talking to you will make anything better for him. He just needs time to realize that instead of loving Bella, he's been using her as a target for his feelings. He'll come around eventually."

Basil and Holly understood eachother so well, it made me smile just to see them together. Evangeline and Roan were the same way, and I was beyond overjoyed to finally have the same thing as well. Maybe if Ash found someone he would understand, I thought. I know that more than anything else, he probably felt left out now.

She smiled weakly and turned back to me. "So..." she said. "Tell us everything!" I rolled my eyes. Her moods switched so quickly, it was impossible to keep up with.

"I bugged Alice, Jasper and Emmitt all day to tell me something," I began, purposely not mentioning Rosalie, who I had felt too awkward with to question. "But they refused. Alice just kept telling me it wasn't her place, which made me crazy, but insisted that if I went to her house with her after school, her brother would tell me everything." That much they already knew, I'm sure, from seeing the Cullens at lunch. I told them everything Edward told me, with Holly grinning the entire time, and Evangeline's lips curling into something that looked suspiciously like a knowing smile. With Holly sitting next to me, I couldn't help but give up all the romantic details, and by the time I was done, she was wiggling around and clapping her hands with glee like a small child.

"So as much as I love you guys," I finished. "I'm going back now."

Evangeline ran up to me and hugged me just as Holly did. Holly I was expecting, but Evangeline hardly ever got excited like that. "Of course," they said in unison.

"Actually," Roan said. "If you don't mind, I think we'd probably all like to go." He grinned, and I couldn't help grinning back at him. "We never really got a chance to meet Edward when we were there."

A few minutes later, Holly finished scribbling a note telling Ash where we were, and we all took off running for the Cullen mansion.

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**Please review. I love reviews, and it makes me write faster. promise. I'll try to update later today, so watch for it.**

**poe**


	13. Guilt

Rosalie's PoV:

That day I bit Lilith was one of the worst of my existance. I was terrified when I realized what I had done. _How could I?_ I thought. I did the same thing to her that had been done to me. The irony of the fact that both of us had been changed in the hopes we would become Edward's mate didn't miss me. How could I have done that to someone, deprived her of so much when I was so against it? What could I possibly have been thinking?

One of the reasons I had been so vehmently agaist anyone changing Bella had nothing to do with not liking her. Infact, the only reason I really had to dislike her was her humanity that I envied so much. No. I didn't want any of them to change her because that is what had been done to me. She didn't realize what she would lose. Humanity is precious, and to take that from someone when they still had their lives ahead of them should be a crime. I wish I could have stayed human. If I could have my humanity back, and also get Emmitt and the rest of my family, the world would have been perfect for me. As much as I disliked Bella, I cared enough about her to want her to stay human.

I had deeply resented being changed for the sole purpose of becoming Edward's mate, and here I had just done it to someone else. Now she too, would live a life of darkness. She would never have children or a career or a purpose in life. She too would be stuck between worlds, never really belonging anywhere. She too would have to endure the bloodlust, and fight for the rest of her existance to keep the monster inside her in check.

_What have I done?_

I couldn't think clearly. All I could do was pick her gently up in my arms and run as fast as I could toward my house, all the while thinking of what she would be losing. I had stolen her life. She would never see her family or friends again. She would have to leave everything behind and start all over again. She would be frozen, as all of us were frozen.

If I could have cried, I would have cried for her, but crying was yet another things that vampires could never have. I ran, weaving through the trees and brush, shealding her from the light rain that had begun to fall. I think she must have been in shock...or mute, for in all that time, she didn't say a word. She merely looked quietly up at me until the pain started.

I didn't think I'd be able to stand it once she started screaming. The guilt I felt was overwhelming, and the only thing that kept it from overcoming me was the horror I felt at what I had just done. How was I going to explain this to my family? How was I supposed to tell them that I had tried to replace the very person they had spent the day grieving? That I had taken a life and put us in danger of exposure because I lost control of my anger? How was I going to tell Edward?

The thought made me want to run far, far away. I could already imgine the rage he would be in, but I knew I had to get her to Carlisile. I had to make sure she was going to be okay. That I had done it the right way. We would have to make plans to relocate. Forge more documents and make the necessary phone calls. So I kept going, for once not caring that my perfect hair was getting soaked.

I think it only took me ten minutes to get back, but it felt like it had been forever. My family, hearing the screams, ran to meet me on the porch, and Carlisile took her inside without saying a word. I followed quietly, trying desperately to keep up my arrogant mask, but I knew Jasper could see past it. I was terrified and confused and guilty and pissed at myself all at the same time.

He took her to one of the upstairs guest rooms that we kept furnished though we never had guests, and lay her gently on the bed. "She's going to be fine," Carlisile said. "You didn't suck too much, and there's enough venom in the blood for the change to be the normal three days." Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as he turned to face me and asked, "What happened?"

I tensed up and felt myself start hyperventilating. Emmitt was at my side in an instant putting his hand on my shoulder, but I didn't get any comfort from it. Everyone starred expectantly at me, each wanting to know the same thing. "I--I bit her." I said. I didn't want to tell them why. _Please, please don't ask me why!_

But of course they did. And lying would have been useless. Edward had obviously heard all of the chaos and tuned into our minds trying to find out what had happened, when he heard my thoughts. He was downstairs in an instant, and I don't think I've ever seen him look so furious. Jasper was mad too, and Alice was almost as bad as Edward. I hated the disappointed looks I was getting from Carlisile and Esme, and I had never seen Emmitt look so torn. I was his life, but it hurt him as well that I had tried to replace Bella, who he had always thought of as a little sister.

I couldn't even come up with any snotty comebacks. All I could do was look down at my designer shoes with the shame of knowing I had hurt my family and stolen the life of an innocent girl who had never done anything to deserve this. She had no chance, even if she wanted one, at winning Edward's heart. I suppose that was the first moment that I realized that he really had loved Bella with all of his heart, and he wasn't ever going to get over her. He didn't want to move on, and for the first time, I realized just how much pain he was really in. If I lost Emmitt, I wouldn't be able to go on. I realized why my family wore the hopeless looks they did when they thought of Bella. They missed her, and they knew that by losing her, they had also lost Edward. He was never going to recover, and he was never going to be the same.

When Lilith woke up, she told us who she was and I told her about being a vampire. Because I was the one to do this to her, it was my job to break the news to her. I was the one who had to tell her that she would never see her family again, and no one would ever be able to know what happened to her. It will have been as if she disappeared into thin air. She dry sobbed a bit when I told her, but surprisingly, she was the only person in the house other than Emmitt that wasn't mad at me. (He was just very hurt, which was worse than anger. Yelling, I could have handled.) I would have thought she would have been angry, especially when she found out I had done it in the hopes that she could heal my brother, but she wasn't. She was curious to understand everyone in our family, (apparently she had never gotten along well with her own) and much to my dismay, she immidiately fell in love with Edward.

She followed him around whenever she could, and tried to get him to open up to her, but she never had a chance. The simple fact that she wouldn't leave Edward alone made Alice resent her more, and Edward began more and more to take off on his own for hours or days at a time to be alone without her hassling him. Carlisile and Esme, though upset, were the first to forgive me. Jasper could feel my remorse, so eventually, he did too. I don't think Edward ever really forgave me, but after a while, he stopped shooting me furious glances every time he saw me and took to ignoring me instead. Alice, on the other hand, held a fierce grudge, and we had the biggest fight we had ever had shortly after Lilith woke up.

She couldn't believe that I would do something like that to our family...to Edward. She and Edward had always been rather close. Being the ones with odd powers, they understood eachother, and Bella had been a sister and best friend to Alice. The thought of me picking some random girl to take her place in all of our hearts infuriated her, and seeing Edward get even worse, though none of us had thought that possible, made her rage even stronger.

It was a bit of a last straw for her. She had always resented the way I treated Bella, and how even after she died, I didn't feel even the least bit sorry for antagonizing her. How when Edward was in all of that pain, I could still never believe that he truely loved her.

She never liked Lilith, and sometimes I wonder if it's really only because of how she came to our family and started chasing Edward, or if there's something more to it than what all of us can see. It wouldn't be fair of her to hate Lilith for something that was out of her control, and Alice wasn't normally one to hate without good reason, but I couldn't think of anything else. Lilith reciporocated Alice's feelings, making the house a very tense place for the past two years.

I listened to everything that was going on in the house. I could hear Carlisile in his study and Esme painting in their room. Alice was in Edward's room interrogating him about absolutely everything that happened between him and Bella, and sharing all the visions she had had of them today. "Alice," I could hear him yell. "Don't look for those kinds of things in your visions!" Of course she would see something like that. It made sense now that Bella was a vampire too. They could be together, and he didn't have to worry about losing control and biting her, or hurting her by squeezing her too tight. I rolled my eyes and tuned into Jasper and Emmitts conversation. They were downstairs in the family room talking about...Bella of course. If I wasn't so guilty, I probably would have been jealous of all of the attention she was getting.

Now that Bella was back, I felt the old guilt wash over me afresh. I had managed in the past years to push it to the back of my mind and return to my arrogant self. Now that she's back, I don't know what to say to her. I know I have to come clean and apologize, but admitting that I made a mistake is not an easy task for me. How can I admit that I tried to replace her?

Just then, I heard the sounds of her approach outside, and looked out the window to see her and the rest of the Matthews approaching. The one called Holly was jumping around in excitement while the others laughed at her. I sighed and let go of the curtain, letting it fall back into place. I would have to tell her sooner or later.

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	14. Apologies

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. I also don't feel like writing any more disclaimers, so this applies to all chapters I may write in the future, since the fact that I didn't write those books is still going to be true next week, and the next and the next... I think you get the picture. In fact, I should think that anyone reading stories on a fanfiction website would realize that I don't own anything.**

**This chapter's pretty much just filler. sorry. the next chapter's gonna have a lot more plot to it, and after that, we'll get to the conflict! and it'll get all exciting! yay! also, the next chapter will probably be really fuffy. (fluffy meaning really AAAWWW not fuffy meaning no plot.)**

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Bella's PoV:

It only took a few minutes for my family and I to travel the short distance between the Cullen's house and our own. Before I had even raised my hand to knock, the door swung open bathing us all in yellow light and revealing a grinning Emmitt and Jasper. "Bella," Emmitt laughed pulling me into a tight bear hug. "How's my favorite human doing?"

"Not so human anymore," I replied once my feet were planted firmly on the ground and I could breathe again. Everyone laughed, and Emmitt stepped aside to let us in. The house was warm, though being vampires, the cold didn't bother us, and the hardwood floors beneath my feet were shiny and polished. A game which I suspected Jasper and Emmitt had been watching moments before was playing in the next room, and I could faintly hear music coming from upstairs in Edward's room.

We all followed Jasper into the living room and began to take seats on the couches. Outside, I could hear the wind and rain beating against the house, and the howling of the wind in the trees. My vampire senses allowed me to hear each drop as it hit the roof, and the fresh smell of rain, jasmine and rosemary overwhelmed my senses. I almost didn't notice the light fall of footsteps coming down the stairs, and looked up just in time to see Rosalie coming towards me. Her beautiful features were clouded with guilt as she rushed to sit beside me on one of the couches.

Jasper and Emmitt exchanged looks from behind her, but didn't say anything. "Bella," she began, and I could tell that whatever she was trying to say was difficult for her. "I just want to tell you that I'm so sorry. I'm sure by now you know that we were far from close when you were a human, and there is really no way to excuse the way I treated you. I hope we can be friends now, but first, there's something I have to tell you." She took a deep breath, and was about to continue when I held up my hand to silence her.

Edward had told me how she treated me as a human, but I really wasn't at all angry with her. When I put myself in her place, I could understand why she had reacted the way she had to me. I was the human who upset her peaceful little life. By merely being there, a constant temptation to her brother, I risked exposing them for what they were. By being in danger, her family was forced to protect me, once again putting all of them at risk. She was only worried about her family. How could I blame her for that?

"Rosalie," I smiled. "I'm not at all angry for what happened when I was human. You were only concerned for you family, and I respect that. Of course I want to be friends, and there's nothing to explain. I already know."

She looked surprised, but only smiled and hugged me awkwardly. One of the first things I had asked Edward after he finished telling me about my past was Lilith. He hadn't mentioned her at all while recounting eveything, and she was the only member of the family that I didn't feel happy to see. That didn't seem eerily familiar. I couldn't help but notice her cold glares and the barely audible growling that emanated from her chest whenever she looked at me.

Rosalie shouldn't have changed her, especially trying to replace me, but I couldn't be angry with her. It had been eight years, and her family had still been torn apart. It must have been painful to have to watch as everyone suffered that way and not know what to do. I understood the helpless feeling she must have been experiencing. I understood what it was like to be constantly searching for something you could never find. I understood what it was to love your family, and want to do anything you could to help and protect them. I really just wanted to put it all in the past and move on. I wanted her to be a sister to me like I knew she was always meant to be.

Emmitt grinned at me and pulled his wife closer to him, grinning down at her as she snuggled closer to his chest. I smiled to myself at how perfect they looked together. At how utterly content they seemed just being in eachother's arms. Somehow in the course of one day, my life had righted itself. All the missing peices had come together, and for the first time I could remember, I was truely and genuinely happy. I had Edward as well as two families that I loved more than words could describe.

I hadn't been paying attention, and didn't notice the two sets of footsteps coming closer and closer unil I heard a soft chuckle from behind me. I turned around to see Edward grinning at me from the base of the stairs and Alice smiling so widely I wondered if it was possible for a person's face to split in half. I felt my own face smiling as I got up to go to Edward, only to collide with a very excited and squealing Alice. Her little arms wrapped tightly around me, sqeezing all the breath from my lungs and temporarily stunning me. For the second time that day, I looked down to find her topaz eyes dancing as she talked a mile a minute.

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad to have you back!" Her eyes were wide and expressive. "The family wasn't the same without you. Edward was a total wreck and, OH MY GAWD WE HAVE TO GO SHOPPING!!!" Holly and I exchanged horrified looks as Alice jumped up and down, clapping her hads and squealing with glee. "Holly and Evangeline should come too, of course. ooooh, it'll be so much fun! And Rose and I can dress you up just like old times! We're even closer to Seattle than we were when we lived in Forks! And, and---"

Before she could finish, I clasped my hand over her mouth and she looked up at me questioningly as everyone else laughed and Carlisile and Esme entered the room. "We. Are not. Going. Shopping!" I choked out, as Holly and I simultaneously shuddered at the thought.

"No shopping," Alice asked, looking like a child who was just told that Christmas had been cancelled. "But...why?"

Evangeline laughed a little from the corner she had been sitting in with Roan. "I feel you pain," she smiled at Alice. "Getting those two," she looked scoldingly over at Holly and I. "to go shopping, is like trying to persuade a river to flow upstream. They're impossible. I'd be happy to go with you sometime though."

I could tell my two families were going to get along wonderfully! With the exception, perhaps, of Lilith, who seemed to hate me for some unknown reason, and Ash, who I was pretty sure was going to be as difficult as possible. Alice, Evangeline and Rosalie began planning out a shopping trip to Seattle this weekend, and I took the opporitunity to escape and run over to Edward, whos arms seemed to be waiting for me.

"Hey," he whispered into my hair, pulling me as close as possible. I inhaled deeply, letting his scent overwhelm me as I burried my face in his chest and sighed contently. I wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in his arms like this forever. To just melt into him and never have to face the rest of the world again. To hell with the rest of the world. Edward was my world. My entire universe and existance.

"I missed you," I mumbled into him. It was true. It had only been an hour, but I had missed him desperately. I didn't feel complete without him, and I never wanted to be away from him again. He chuckled softly and carried me over to one of the available seats, sitting me down on his lap. Looking around, I noticed that all of the couples in the room were sitting together, snuggling and looking knowingly at Edward and I. Both Holly and Alice seemed to be fighting the urge to jump on me as they bounced around in their seats.

"My family wanted to meet you," I teased Edward. "Since apparently last night you locked yourself in you room and refused to come down." His family laughed and he grinned sheepishly at me before turning to everyone apologetically.

"I'm sorry about that," he said. "I didn't mean to be rude, and it was nothing personal. I hardly ever left my room for a while there."

"A while," Emmitt snorted. "Try ten years." Edward glared.

"It's perfectly alright," Roan smiled at Edward. "We take no offense. We're just happy that Bella's found you." Edward smiled and hugged me tighter to himself before leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on my lips.

For the rest of the night, my two families sat in the Cullen's living room talking and laughing. I didn't say much, being content to listen to all of them enjoy eachother's company while snuggling with my angel. After a several hours, the group broke off into several separate conversations.

Jasper, Emmitt and Basil argued passionately about sports, first discussing football teams and later moving on to baseball, basketball and hokey. It was amusing to watch as they arm wrestled and agreed to race thing first thing after they got home from school today. Before the night was over, they had brought down all the video game equipement from Emmitt and Rosalie's room, and began going at it. Boys will be boys...

Carlisle and Roan talked for hours about medicine and psychology, how they had gotten into their professions, and their lives as vampires, since they were both centuries old. Esme and Evangeline sat with their husbands while they discussed everything from renaissance art (Esme couldn't hold back her excitement when she realized Evangeline was actually _there_) to their beautiful homes, families, and the tiny town of Silverdale, Washington.

I knew Holly and Alice were going to be good friends from the way the both disappeared to the far corner of the room where they began conversing excitedly in hushed voices even my vampire hearing couldn't make out. They were both so enthusiastic, and other than the fact that Alice loved shopping and fashion while Holly despised it, they reminded me a lot of eachother, though not being able to hear their conversation made me more than just a little suspicious.

"They're talking about us," Edward whispered in my ear and grinning when he noticed the direction of my gaze. I should have known he would be reading their minds.

"What are they saying," I wispered back with genuine curiousity.

"Well," he replied. "Alice just finished telling Holly everything about our relationship from when you were human in vivid detail, including what she saw in visions. Honestly, I never knew she saw so much." He looked thoughtful for a moment before looking down at me and continuing. "Holly's trying to picture everything, and Alice helped her out by pulling out some photos, that again, I never even knew she had. Now Alice is trying to pull everything she can about your vampire life from Holly." He chuckled. "She wants to know if you were ever with anyone else."

"What's Rosalie thinking?" I asked. Rosalie, though she didn't seem to be joining in on the conversation, had followed Alice and Holly over to the corner, probably getting bored with the boys conversation after they switched topics from cars, which she had an unexpected passion for, to sports. She was currently examining her own hands.

Edward snickered. "She's thinking about how beautiful she is, and debating what color to paint her nails later."

Everyone continued to talk through the night and into the morning, never noticing that Edward and I were eavesdropping. Finally, at about 6:30, Evangeline stood up and said that regrettfully, it was about time they went home and started getting ready to go to school. Everyone promised to get together again soon and began heading for the door.

"Are you coming Buff---Bella?" Basil asked.

I stood up. "No. I think I'll skip today."

He grinned at me. "Kay. See 'ya sis." Everyone hugged me and walked out the door, while all of the Cullens disappeared to their rooms to get ready. I turned around to look up at Edward, and the corners of his lips twitches as he snatched my hand and lead me up the stairs and into his room. He closed the door then went over to his vast music collection to put something in.

"You're registering tomorrow," I said giving him a pseudo scolding and causing him to laugh. It was such a beautiful laugh.

"Yes ma'am!" He answered mockingly saluting me.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked. He grinned, and I immediately knew I was right to think he was planning something.

"It's a surprise, but I think it'd be a good idea if we stopped off at your house to get some stuff." I raised my eyebrows. Where was he planning on taking me? What would I need? Why couldn't he just tell me!

"Edwarrrrrrrd!" I whined. "Pleeeeeeeeeease tell me!" I pouted, and knew it was a very cute pout when his eyes glazed over. It felt good to know that I could have the same effect on him as he had on me.

He blinked, and shook his head a little bit, as though trying to clear it, then smiled. "Sorry," he said. "You'll just have to wait to find out." He was so beautiful, I could hardly believe this god would want to be with me.

"But I hate surprises!"

"I know," he said simply. "But I love them, and you always end up liking my surprises."

He stepped closer so that there was no space between us. I couldn't think with him that close to me. Slowly, he leaned down, breathing in my face so that I drowned in his heavenly scent and dazzled by his eyes. I was right up against his perfect chest. His lips were only inches from mine, and I began to stand up on my tiptoes, expecting a kiss, but he pulled away grinning. "Let's go," he said grabbing my hand, and with that we were running towards my house.

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**IMPORTANT!!!! Next week is my last week of school before finals, so i might not update much for the next two weeks. IF YOU WANT ME TO UPDATE, I will if I get a lot of reviews. I don't feel like being lame and saying I'm not going to review until I get like, ten more reviews or anything, cause that's just not true. if I never got another review, I'd still update eventually. However, I can tell you im much more likely to work on this if I have a lot of reviews. reviews are what make me want to write instead of spending several hours reading fanfiction. So lets just say if I have more than ten reviews, i'll probably update by the next day. If its more than five, chances are I'll update sometime during the week. If its less than that, sorry, but I'll probably just get around to it when i feel like it. also, thank you to lizziemcclure, chillipeppers, amrawro, and peaceonchicken for updating for my last chapter. especially peaceonchicken! your update made me really happy, and got me to work on this chapter when i otherwise proly would have put it off for another few days. lol. im like the queen of procrastinatin, but im going to try to be way better about updating once my summer break starts. (im so jealous of all of you who are already done for the year! lol.)**

**poe**


	15. Confrontation

**Okay, so this was originally a lot longer. That's why it took me three days even though I've been typing away like crazy. It just seemed to cover too much though, and it was awkward, so I split it up. Lucky for any of you who are impatient out there, my school has a really weird schedual, and we only have half of our classes on wed and half on thu, though they're longer. i don't have to be at school tomorrow till almost nine, so i'll definately post the next chapter tomorrow morning. After that, it all depends on how fast I write, which will pretty much depend on how many reviews I get. Last chapter, I got more reviews than any other one I've written so far! 17! WOOT!**

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Bella's PoV:

Edward and I ran quicly to my house, though he still refused to tell me where we would be going later, what his big surprise was, or why we had to stop by my house first. I hate surprises, and I probably would have been irritated if I hadn't made the mistake of turning to look at him. His smouldering topaz eyes looked intensely and longingly into mine, and his bronze hair blew messily in the wind that whipped past our faces. His full, kissable lips were curved upwards into the crooked grin I had already come to love, and the moment I saw it, my breath caught in my throat and my dead heart erupted into a flurry of butterfly wings.

I wanted so baddly tackle him right then and there, covering every inch of his face in kisses. I could imagine the feel of his body against mine as I melted into his embrace, and his cool hands running along my back, sending shivers of pleasure throughout my body. I wanted his mouth on mine so baddly it almost burned, and the urge to reach out and touch him was so overwhelming it took every ounce of self-control I posessed to turn away from him and try to concentrate on not running into trees...getting to my house...anything but the god who ran beside me and how much I craved his touch...his melodious voice...his breath in my face.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt two cool arms throw me to the side so that my back was pressed up against a tree. All coherant though stopped as I felt Edward press his chest against mine, blowing his wonderful scent across my face. His lips crashed against mine in the most passionate kiss I had ever known and my heart didn't need to beat to go wild. My arms snaked up and wrapped around his kneck, tangling my fingers in his hair as I clutched him close to me as possible. I melted into him and felt my body turn to jello as his hands ran down the sides of my waist and rested on my hips, pulling me to him so that every line of my body was pressed against every line of his. I lost control in that moment, and all that existed in my world at that moment was Edward's lips on mine, and his body pressed up against me.

My lips parted, and I felt his do the same. His tongue darted out of his mouth and ran slowly, teasingly along my bottom lip. I gasped, and opened my mouth wider to let him in. Our tongues rubbed together as he explored my mouth and my hands wandered from his hair, down his kneck, along his shoulders, and down the muscles of his ams.

After a few minutes of making out, he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine as we struggeld to regain our breath. I couldn't believe the power he had over me. No one else had ever made me feel like this. No one else could take my breath away with a single smile. All it took was one dazzling look from Edward, and my will crumpled to dust. Everything else ceased to matter once he kissed me as if nothing else existed. It was so easy to melt into his arms and forget the rest of the world and its problems. What did I ever do to deserve this angel? Why was this perfect being so enchanted with _me_?

It took a few moments for our heavy breathing to subside, and I nearly started to hyperventilate again when he smiled down at me before grabbing my hand in his. "I swear, you're going to be the death of me, Bella," he chuckled lightly before leaning down to kiss me again. Both of us were too caught up in our moment to notice the vampire that had been quietly approaching until Edward was pulled roughly away from me and thrown backwards into a tree.

"Ash!" I screamed. "What the hell do you think you're doing!" I had almost forgotten that he had run off into the woods that surrounded our home last night.

His black eyes flicked to me for just a moment before turning back to stare at Edward with hate. The moment he had finished crashing through the tree, Edward got up and prepared to fight. A menacing growl rumbled in his chest as he stayed crouched and ready to spring. "Stay out of this Buffy," Ash warned. "This is between me and him."

Anger rippled through my body. Who the hell did he think he was? He didn't have the right to be jealous, let alone try to attack my boyfriend and tell me to stay out of it. "You're wrong Ash," I replied in a dangerously calm voice. "This is between you and me."

His head snapped over to look at me, and I could feel the anger and annoyance in his gaze. "No," he scowled. "If he wants you, he's gonna have to fight."

I glanced over at Edward, and saw a cold smile flicker across his face at those words. "Fine by me," he mumbled. "You don't stand a chance."

This was going way too far. I had to do something before one of sthem got hurt. "No." I said, my voice filled with authority. "You are not going to fight over me. Do you honestly think that's going to help anything Ash? All you'll do is get yourself hurt. You can't win, and even if you hypothetically did somehow, you still wouldn't get me. I'm not a toy you can do battle over or bet. With or without Edward, I could never love you as anything more than a brother and friend."

He growled and shook with anger. "That's not true Buffy," he said with confidence. "We're meant for eachother." Edward growled and I couldn't help but wonder what he was hearing from Ash's simple mind.

"We're not," I said shaking my head. "Ash, there can never be anything between us. Even before yesterday I told you that. I was never interested in you that way. I was never intersted in _anyone_ that way until Edward."

That might have been the wrong thing to say, because at that moment Ash lost it and launched himself at Edward. This could NOT be happening! Ash was my brother, and I loved him, but I would choose Edward if it came down to it. I closed my eyes and concentrated all of my attention to the point in the center of my forehead, pushing my power at Ash. He and Edward would NOT fight. Not while I was there anyway.

It pained me to have to do this to my own brother, but I couldn't let him attack Edward. _It won't hurt him,_ I told myself, though it didn't do a bit to shake the guilt. _You have to do it. You can't let him fight Edward. Then he really will get hurt. _I opened my eyes and found Edward standing over Ash's unconscious body looking shocked. "Wow." he said. "When you told me about your power I never guessed you could do that!" It had only taken me a fraction of a second to put Ash completely unconscious in mid dive.

I sighed and shrugged. My power was really...well, powerful. At first I didn't think there was really anything useful I could use it for when fighting, but later, when I found I could change other people's states as well as my own, I realized it made me virtually invincible. Who could possibly stand a chance against me when I could knock them unconscious the moment they tried to do something to me? I could even control what they dreamed, which was useful in giving my family good dreams, or if I wanted to, scaring the living daylight out of enimies.

"Idiot," I mumbled, shaking my head as I picked Ash up off the forest floor. "What were you thinking?" I sighed, and looked warily over at Edward. "Lets go," I said giving him a weak smile and took off running for my house again.

After a few minutes, we reached an opening in the forest and stepped out into the clearing my house was set in. It was a huge white mansion that was almost as big as the Cullen's home, with beautiful cherry wood trimming. The front lawn was neat, and littered with rosebushes of every color. A long, gravel driveway lead up to the house, and within seconds I spotted my silver volvo. My family must have taken it home for me when they realized I wouldn't be needing it.

I was ready to keep walking toward the house, but was stopped short when Edward paused, starring at my car with wide, incredulous eyes. "Bella," he asked as I turned to look curiously at him. "Who's car is that?"

"Miiiine," I answered suspiciously. "Why?"

He suddenly laughed. "Because I have one just like it at home." I looked up at him, shock written in my features. "In fact, I've had _my_ silver volvo since you were human."_ Since I was human? Meaning that was the car he used when we were together?_

"Seriously," I asked. "Well," I mused. "I suppose now I know why I was so unexplainably drawn to this car. My family even tried to talk me out of getting it, since its about twelve years old now." I smiled, he put his arm around my shoulder, and we continued down the stone pathway we were on to the front door of my house. _Wow, _I thought. _I wonder if there's other things I've been drawn to for seemingly no reason that had something to do with my human life._

My thoughts were cut short when we walked in the front door just in time to see my family readying to leave. They looked up, shocked, at seeing Ash limp in my arms. "What happened?" Holly asked frantically running over to me and grabbing Ash to set him on the couch in the front room. All eyes turned to me with worried expressions. Basil quickly looked him over, and after assessing him and determining he would be fine, turned to look at me as well.

"The idiot snuck up on us in the woods," I explained. "He wanted to fight Edward, so I used my power to put him to sleep." The faces around me looked shocked, so I went on. "Don't worry," I said. "He'll be fine. He should wake up in a couple of hours."

I could tell they wanted to talk about what had happened more, but they were going to be late if they didn't leave right away. As soon as everyone had finished filing out the door, and I heard the car drive off with all of them in it, I smiled at Edward and led him up to my room. I still had no idea what was going on, so I simply sat cross-legged on my bed watching him as he poked around, looking at all of my stuff and the drawings I had made of him that were plastered all over my walls.

After he had finished inspecting everything, he finally turned to me with a smile, and asked where I kept my bags. Reaching under my bed, I pulled out a yellow duffel bag and handed it to him. He smiled and began to go through my closet, throwing clothes in the bag as well as the toiletries I kept in a small bag hanging near the bathroom door. Why would I be needing all of that? Where was he planning on taking me? And for how long? I was perfectly all right with skipping one day of school, but if I missed too much time, I'd have to come up with a good excuse.

As if sensing all of my unasked questions, he finally spoke. "Don't worry, you'll only be missing today and tomorrow, then it'll be the weekend and we won't have to worry about school. Carlisile can even write you a doctors note to excuse you if you want. And Alice is going to tell your family everything as soon as they get to school, so they won't worry."

"So I'm the last to know," I pouted.

"Afraid so," he grinned as he finished gathering everything and zipped the bag shut. "Now let's go," he said slinging the bag over his shoulder and grabbing my hand. We were back at his house within ten minutes and rushing off to the house size structure he called a garage. Once inside, he opened the trunk and tossed my bag casually inside before opening my door and getting in the drivers side. Then we were speeding off to who knows where.

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**kay. I updated, so now plz review. i really want to know what you guys think of the story. also, I'm doing a vote. how many of you like fluff and how many hate it. plz, plz, PLEASE everyone answer that, cause i want to know what the majority is. im getting conflicing reviews, and i want to know what most of you want. no matter what, im going to be getting into the main conflict now, but i cant make it really sweet and fluffy at the same time if enough of you want it. also, i want to know if i did a decent job at the kissing scene. i've personally never been kissed or had a bf (i know, its pathetic im 17, but w/e.) so plz give me some feedback.**

**thanx, and remember, reviewsa happy poe. A happy poemore updates, so yeah. reviews are the difference between if i go on and spend several hours reading or writing fanfiction.**

**poe**


	16. Forks

**Omg, you guys, I'm so sorry! i was going to post this this morning, but it was only 6:30 when I finished it, and i wanted to wait about two hours and i left for school forgetting to do it! sry! thank goodness I write it in the document section on this site, or i wouldn't be able to update from my school library! lol. :)**

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Of three things I was certain. One, Edward was a vampire. Two, I was unconditionally and irrovocably in love with him. And three, he drove like a complete and utter maniac! It was terrifying, to say the least. At least my siblings all watched where they were going while flying down the freeways at insane speeds. Edward never went under 120mph, all the while watching me rather than the road. Logic told me that nothing could hurt me, even if we did crash, but that didn't stop me from gripping my seat tightly and yelling at him to slow down. Unfortunately, my outburst only seemed to amuse him.

I lost track of time as we drove, perfectly content to listen to music and spend time with Edward. Before long, I noticed that he had pulled off the freeway and we were driving along near-deserted backroads. Suddenly, the car stopped, and I looked around to see that we were at a deadend of a road, looking at a path that led into the forest. Edward came around to open my door, always the gentleman, and I gave him a questioning look as he took my hand and led the way. Surprisingly, we didn't take the path at all. Instead, we took off at a run through the forest until I could see a clearing a little ways ahead of us.

Stepping through the trees and into the light, I was met by the second most beautful sight I had ever laid eyes on (Edward being the first of course). I stood in a perfectly circular meadow in the middle of the forest, surrounded by wild flowers. The smell alone was intoxicating, and I could hear the peacful sounds of a stream nearby. I gaped around myself in awe, until I heard a low chuckle from behind me, and turned to see Edward regarding my reaction with amusement.

It was then that I realized that the sun was shining. Edward's already perfect marble body was hit by a thousand rays of sunlight and sparkled like diamonds. I gasped as he walked human pace to where I was standing in the center of the meadow, and laid down, closing his eyes and soaking up the warmth. Unable to help myself, I sat down beside him and ran my hands along the radiant surface that was his skin. Of course I had seen a vampire sparkle before. My family and I sometimes enjoyed sunbathing on our roof, but it was nothing in comparison to the sight that was before me now. I grabbed one of his hands, turning and inspecting it while tracing patterns along his palms, fingers, wrists, and up and down his arms.

"This was our meadow," he mumbled, running his fingers along my cheek and down my kneck. I had been so absorbed in watching him, I hadn't noticed him sit up and begin looking at me in the same way. I smiled, remembering what he had told me about the first time we had come here, and how we had confessed our love to eachother. For the rest of the day, Edward and I enjoyed the sun, lying with our arms around eachother until twilight, when he suggested we go back to his house here, drop off our stuff, and hang out until it was a little later and we could drive around town without being noticed and recognized.

I was looking foreward to seeing his old home where I had apparently spent so much time as a human, and see if anything was familiar. Apparently, when the Cullens moved, they didn't take anything with them. Instead, they kept all of the same furninshing, since they moved back to the same houses once enough time had passed so that no one would recognize them. Of course, by the time they were able to move back, the house was out of fashion and they had to redecorate and refurnish, but Esme enjoyed doing it.

Edward turned onto an almost unnoticable turnoff that I probably wouldn't have seen during the daytime, let alone in the dark of the night. It looked as though no one had driven down here in a while, and road was overgrown with weeds and plants. The house that came into view moments later was beautiful. If you could even call it a house. It was really more of a mansion, and was three stories and even larger than the house they owned in Silverdale. It was completely surrounded by the forest, and around the house I could see the remnants of what used to be a thriving garden.

I quicly unbuckled, impatient to see the inside, and was about to open my door when Edward appeared to do it for me. The house was even more beautiful on the inside. The entire back side was covered with windows, giving a surreal view of the nature outside. It almost made me forget I was inside. Edward gave me a quick tour of the house, and it didn't take long for me to conclude that Esme was the best home decorator in the world.

I got a strange feeling of deja vu being there, and I was glad I had Edward now, and that he had told me everything he could about my past. Walking around, I tried to imagine everything happening. Just like yesterday when I met Alice, my mind was assulted with images that I couldn't put any sense to. I wondered sometimes if I would ever remember, or if all I would ever have were stories, but I decided that even if I never remembered anything, it would be okay with me. I had Edward, and that was all that I really needed. My life had meaning, and the hole I used to feel in my chest was filled. I had searched so much because I had felt like something was missing, and now, memories or no memories, I felt complete.

Edward and I watched Romeo and Juliet and Queen of the Damned while waiting for it to be late enough to go out and not be seen. He wanted to show me places I had known during my human life, but Forks was such a small town that if anyone saw us, we would surly be recognized, and it wouldn't go unnoticed that after ten years, we still looked seventeen. It didn't help that I was supposed to have committed scuicide either. We would certainly cause a lot of questions showing up out of the blue, so at 10:30, we finally decided it was safe to leave.

I changed into some of the dark clothes that Edward had packed for me, and put my thick, long hair up in a poneytail so that it wouldn't be in the way. Finally, I inspected myself in the mirror, and ran down the stairs to find Edward waiting for me. I gasped at the sight of him. His clothes were all black, and set a perfect contrast with his bronze hair and paler than pale skin. I paused at the bottome step, starring at him, until he walked quickly over to me and pecked me on the lips before taking my hand and leading me to the door. We had both agreed it was best to run tonight rather than take the chance of being noticed in the car. I liked it running better anyway.

The first place he took me to was my old house. According to what he had heard, Charlie, my father, was still living there. For a few moments, we circled the house, being careful to stay under the cover of the forest, while Edward tried to read my father's mind to determine if he was asleep or not. He was, and Edward decided it should be safe to sneak in my bedroom window the same way he had always done while I was human. If Charlie woke up, I could simply use my power on him and put him back in his bed. He'd think the whole thing was a dream.

Edward went ahead of me to open the window that had probably been closed and locked for the past ten years. It only took a fraction of the moment before he jumped in and motioned for me to follow. I scaled the wall easily, and climbed quietly through. I felt like the robber in the stereotypical museum robbery, dodging lazers and hanging down from the ceiling with ropes in a stealthy suite. Then I looked around.

"Everything is adzactly the way you left it," Edward murmured. It was a plain room, furnished by a bed, rocking chair, desk, and ancient looking computer. My old clothes were still in the closet, and a bag of toiletries thrown on the desk. I could almost feel the memories, right on the tip of my mind trying to push though, but all I got was a strange feeling I was having difficulty placing. I quietly opened the bedroom door and moved to go downstairs and explore. Edward followed close behind, watching me poke around in the kitchen and living room before a made my final stop in Charlie's room.

It was small and dark, and the moment I stepped inside, his scent surrounded me. His room was even more bare than my own with only his bed and a dresser to keep his clothes in. One of the closet doors was slightly ajar, and I could see that it was used for storage. Boxes jutted out of the shelves unevenly and smelled stale and dusty.

I walked silently over to the bed my father slept on, being careful not to make any noise while Edward, sensing I needed a moment alone, closed the door softly and stood outside waiting for me. I looked down at Charlie and felt saddness wash over me. Edward had told me everything about him, and I hated to know how much my supposed death, even after years, had haunted him. He blamed himself for the suicide the entire town of Forks believed I had committed. He wasn't an especially handsome man, but one look told you that he was kindhearted and warm. He looked to be in his mid-fiftys now, and aging quickly. His face was covered in wrinkles and his hair sported a lot of gray, but he still looked to be in relatively good shape for his age, and I could smell that he was healthy. The incessant beating of his heart was soothing, and his deep breathing was slow and regular.

I wished I could know this man. That like the Cullens, I could find him suddenly after all these years and talk to him about everything, but I knew I couldn't. I was dead to him, and that was the way it needed to stay. I couldn't possibly tell him that I was a vampire. That all of the Cullens were vampires, and though he was aging and growing nearer to death with each passing moment, I was immortal, and would be eighteen until the world ended. I wished he knew that I hadn't committed suicide, though I didn't know what DID happen to me, and he would stop blaming himself.

"Goodbye, Dad," I whispered as I turned to leave the room. Outside, Edward was waiting for me and wrapped his arms comfortingly around me. I stayed there for a moment, just snuggling into his chest and feeling the rhythm of his breathing, then finally decided we should leave. I smiled weakly at him and made a move for the window when he stopped me.

He looked like he had just remembered something important, and grinned before getting down to lie on his stomache, prying a floorboard loose. It came out easily, as if it hadn't really been connected, and Edward looked satisfied with himself as he reached in and pulled out two pictures and a tape, which he promptly handed to me.

"When I left, I promised you no reminders, so I came back here and took these," he explained. "I couldn't bear the thought though, so I hid them here under your floorboards. I suppose it was childish, but I wanted you to keep something of me, even if you never knew it was here." I smiled, and pulled him into a hug then pulled away to sit in his lap, inspecting the pictures.

"What's this?" I asked motioning to the tape.

"Your eighteenth birthday present from me." he answered quietly. "It's a tape I made you of your lulliby." I smiled. Though Edward hadn't played it for me on the piano yet, while we were at the meadow, just enjoying eachother's company and the heat from the sun, he had hummed it softly in my ear. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, and knowing that he had written it just for me was touching.

After a few moments, Edward and I left through the open window, and I turned to say one last goodbye to the house that I had spent so many happy times in as a human. The house that I didn't really remember, but already felt familiar and comforting. I knew I would probably never see it again, and if I did it wouldn't be for decades, so Edward and I took one last look at it before running off into the woods toward the high school.

We were just entering the parking lot, discussing the possiblity of beng caught on surveylance cameras (though, this being Forks, we decided there probably weren't any), when Edward's cell phone viberated from in his pants pocket. A look of irritation mixed with his features as he pulled it out, mumbling about how he told the family not to bother him unless it was an emergency. He looked at the caller ID and rolled his eyes. "Who else," he muttered flipping the phone open and holding it to his ear. "Yes," he answered.

"Edward! Thank god i got a hold of you in time!" It was Alice, and she sounded frantic.

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**dun, dun, DUN!!! don't you just love a good cliffy? lol. don't hate me. i'll update soon if I get lots of reviews. okay, so i mostly hated this chapter, but it had to be done. the story would have just been awkward if i left it all out, so i did my best to make it interesting for you. please just click the button and tell me what you think. honestly, it isn't that hard to leave a review people. it takes, what, all of ten seconds? it really helps though, and lets me know how im doing. even if its absurdly short and only says "like it" or "update" atleast i know people are still reading it. when i look at my stats, and see how many people are reviewing vs. how many people have me on update alert, i always get a little paranoid that people dont like it anymore and stopped reading. so if you still like it, and you want me to update, review. if you don't like it, review and tell me what i need to be doing better. thanx.**

**poe**


	17. Danger

_**Last Time:**_

_He looked at the caller ID and rolled his eyes. "Who else," he muttered flipping the phone open and holding it to his ear. "Yes," he answered._

_"Edward! Thank god i got a hold of you in time!" It was Alice, and she sounded frantic._

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**Bella's PoV:**

I strained my ears trying to listen to Alice's end of the conversation, but she spoke in tones so low and fast that even my vampire senses couldn't pick up what she was saying. The only way I had to gague the situation was by watching Edward's reaction, and it wasn't good.

His eyes opened wide in shock for a moment, before his expression changed to one of anger. A growl erupted from his chest and his black irises **(a/n: hehe! get my penname?)** blazed. His entire body tensed and the hand that wasn't holding his cell phone clenched into a fist as his jaw tightened.

Panic seized me. What could possibly be happening to cause this sort of reaction in Edward? Could something have happened to one of my families? I didn't know what I would do if anything ever happened to any of them. And if I wasn't there to help them out of whatever danger threatened them...I would never be able to forgive myself.

No. That couldn't be it. She said: "Thank god I got a hold of you in time." In time for what I didn't know, but I was certain that meant Edward and I were the ones in danger. But from what? What could possibly harm two vampires? Was she calling to warn us that we may be seen by a human and recognized? That would certainly be a good reason for her to sound so worried. If a human were to see and recongnize us, there would be no way to explain it away. As far as everyone in Forks was concerned, Edward was twenty-eight and I was dead. How would someone react when they saw that he still appeared as he had when he left Forks ten years ago? Better yet, how would someone react to seeing me alive, when the whole town had attended my funeral and seen me lying dead in a casket? Of course, if someone _were _to see us, no one would probably believe them, but it didn't seem fair that someone end up in a mental institution because of me.

But that couldn't be it either. It that were all it was, Edward would just want to avoid letting that happen. Alice's visions weren't set in stone. If a decision were changed, the future would change. All we would have to do to avoid exposure is change our plans. No, the threat wasn't exposure, or Edward wouldn't be so livid.

He gave a sharp thank you to Alice and snapped his phone shut, replacing it in his pocket. My body tensed as I prepared myself for whatever was coming, whatever he was going to tell me, but instead he stayed perfectly silent and still, searching the woods around us. I was going to ask him why Alice called. What was going on. She must have seen something to have been so frantic, and I wanted to know what it was, but I stopped the words from leaving my throat when I realized what Edward was doing.

He wasn't moving, and he made no move to tell me what was going on. He stood stock still, eyes flickering around, searching for something. I could see him sniffing the air, eyes suspicious and alert. He was searching.

He was waiting.

I straightened up to full height and felt my muscles tense with anticipation. For the briefest of moments, I closed my eyes, allowing my senses to take over. I was aware of every sound within a mile radius of where I stood, and my sharp eyes opened, picking up even the tinyest of details with vivid accuracy. I felt the gentle breeze tease my face, carrying with it the fresh scent of the coming rain, and heard each dry, autumn leaf as it brushed against the asphalt of the parking lot. Birds called to eachother in the distance, and small animals scurried across the forest floor. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, or hear anything besides the sound of nature, but I knew we were not alone.

Someone was there...watching.

I couln't see whoever it was, but I could sense them...lurking in the shadows, as though waiting for something. The hairs on the back of my kneck stood on end, and though I outwardly stayed composed, with a carefully blank face, something inside of me shivered with anticipation. I wouldn't show any signs of fear, but not knowing where my enimy was, not knowing _what _my enemy was or what they wanted with Edward and I made me very uncomforitable.

I looked over at Edward to see him wearing a blank expression as well. His eyes flicked quickly over to me, and I could tell that he was worried. Whatever was going to happen, he didn't want me to be here when it did. Something was very wrong and both of us could sense it. Something was out of place, but I still couldn't figure out what it was.

Just then, the wind switched directions, blowing from my right instead. My head snapped over just as Edward's did, and that's when I smelled it. Werewolf.

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**I know its really short, but I didn't want more than one PoV in this chapter. The next one will be much longer. Trust me. I haven't started writing it yet (in fact, I've been a bit lazy lately, and I only just started this chapter an hour ago. tho i had started it before and just decided it sucked and started over.) but I already have it all planned out. This is where the story takes off from. **

**IMPRORTANT!!! Before I continue though, I need to know how you all feel about the La Push Werewolves. Especially Jacob. I'm not going to tell you who is watching bella and edward now, but obviously its one of jake's pack. i may or may not put jake in. don't bother asking me to put him in as a major part of the story, cause there's no way i will. i pretty much hate jacob, but i need you all to VOTE. these are your choices: 1.) I like Jacob, 2.) I don't really like him 3.) I LOVE Jacob 4.) I HATE Jacob or 5.) I don't really care. Trust me, you want to vote, cause i'm considering him getting hurt, or maybe even killing him off later in the story. Mwa ha ha ha ha! but i wont if enough of you like him, so vote. and tell me how im doing. remember, reviewing isn't that hard you guys. **

YIKES!!! FINALS START TOMORROW!!! im so screwed. i haven't studied, like, at all.

**REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO UPDATE ANY TIME SOON!**

**poe**


	18. Vampire

**Let me just start off by saying that i am SOOOOOO sorry its been so long since i last updated! i had a lot of important stuff to deal with, and i really couldn't help it. i just want you to know, i wasn't being a jerk and forgetting about you all, and i will be updating a lot this week.**

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_**Last Time:** (figured i should put one in, since its been so long.)_

_Just then, the wind switched directions, blowing from my right instead. My head snapped over just as Edward's did, and that's when I smelled it. _

_Werewolf._

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**Jacob's PoV:**

I was shaken from a deep sleep by my father, Billy Black, who sat in his wheelchair beside my large bed, which took up almost all of my small, plain room. Through my sleepy haze I could faintly hear him urging me to get up. It was time for my shift.

I jumped quickly out of bed, not even taking the time to stretch or rub the sleep from my eyes, and hurried into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. Even the hot water hardly felt warm against my heated skin, and I quickly got out and towelled myself dry, practically jumping into my clothes as I headed to the kitched to gulp down a massive mug of black coffee, hoping the caffein would help with my exhaustion. Muttering a quick goodbye to Billy, I ran out the front door and into the surrounding forests to find Sam.

For the past three months I had been running off four hours of sleep a night, and it was beginning to show. There were circles under my now always bloodshot eyes, and my lids drooped heavily. The rest of my time was spent with my pack brothers, hunting down the filthy bloodsucker that had been killing in our area. We spent all our time searching, and took turns going home to get a few hours of rest before getting back to work.

Where the shower and caffein had failed, running through the forest did not. I breathed deeply and picked up the natural smell of trees, moss and ferns as my feet pounded silently against the ground which was, for once, dry. The clouds had cleared away to reveal millions of radiant stars littered across the black, moonless sky, blocked only by a canopy of trees. The nature surrounding me had a calming effect, and I found the tension gradually easing from my body. It was only a matter of time before we found the bloodsucker and killed it. I grinned at the thought. Killing a leech was always enjoyable.

For better or worse, it was my job, and my pack brothers' jobs, to protect our people, and we took that responsibilty very seriously. We werewolves were the natural enimies of vampires, and were created specially to protect the human race from leeches that they otherwise stood no chance against. From the cold ones, whose super strength, speed and senses made any human helpless to defend himself. Who were the walking dead, living a half life by killing innocent others. By sucking the life from their fragile bodies.

It was the natural instinct of my kind to hate vampires, but my hate ran deeper than instinct. The mere thought of a bloodsucker made my blood boil, and hatred and anger course through my veins as my form shook with fury. My hands would clench into fists while the hairs on the back of my kneck stood on end and I searched for something to tear apart. It was because of vampires that I was a monster. That I couldn't live a normal life, and that for the past ten years I had fought to control myself, constantly fearing that one day it would be too much to handle and I would accidentally hurt someone I cared about. It was because of vampires that Bella Swan was dead.

Maybe it's because I was the one to find her that I can't let it go, but even after all these years, the image of her lifeless form hanging limp from the tree haunts me. Her eyes, once so vibrant, were empty, and her pale, graceful kneck had snapped. The memory of hurrying to get her down, hoping I wasn't too late but knowing I was, still fills me with horror.

It was as if the world stopped that day. No one could believe that Bella Swan was dead. That none of us would ever see her again. The entire town and most of the reservation showed up for her funeral, which was closed casket and beautiful, but the leeches who abandoned her didn't. They never called or wrote, and when Charlie called the hospital Dr. Cullen had supposedly transferred to, he found that they had never even heard of him. They simply dissappeared, probably forgetting all about the sweet, innocent girl who loved them all like a family and trusted them as though they weren't the monsters they were, when everyone else instinctively shied away. She loved them, and they destroyed her. They may not have sucked the blood from her body, but they had killed her all the same. In my anger and grief, I sometimes wondered if it would have been more humane to suck her dry, rather than betraying her trust by leaving her alone to deal with an agony that her fragile heart couldn't bear.

I suppose in some sick way, I always thought that somehow, by killing all the vampires I could, I was avenging her death. I took my rage out on the bloodsuckers I came across, as though it were really Edward Cullen I was ripping apart. While other guys, myself included, could only wish to be with someone as wonderful as Bella, he actually had her love, and he abandoned her as though she meant nothing. He moved on, as though she hadn't even existed, and never looked back. He never even tried calling or writing her. Hell, he probably didn't even know she was dead. He never deserved her.

Logically, I knew that killing other bloodsuckers did nothing to punish the ones I was actually mad at, but it felt good to take my anger out on someone, and it was just so _easy_ to pretend that I was getting my revenge, even if just for a moment. Only my pack brothers really understood the reason for my hatred, and even they could never really get it, though they tried. Being able to hear my thoughts helped. They could see her in their minds, just like I could in mine, and hear my mental ranting. They knew that the experiance had haunted me, just as they knew that I used to have a crush on Bella, but they could never feel the horror and the grief that I did. They didn't blamed themselves for not getting there in time, or for not believing the stories and not trying harder to warn her, or atleast be there so that when they left, she didn't feel like she had nothing left to live for.

My feelings overwhelmed me, and the saddness, grief, anger and guilt swirled around inside me, feuling me as I ran. If those bloodsuckers ever came back here, they were dead. Treaty or no treaty, I would rip them to pieces and enjoy every last moment of it.

My great-grandfather had made the treaty long ago, when there were only two of them. They were different than most vampires, feeding off the blood of animals, rather than humans, and were far more civilized. Both of he leaders wanted peace, and agreed that so long as they never bit anyone in the area, and they stayed off of our land, we would promise not to reveal their secret to the humans, and there would be no fighting.

Screw the treaty!

They may not have bitten anyone, but as far as I was concerned, they had killed an innocent, teenage girl. They had left and never so much as turned back. My grandfather was wrong. They were no different than the rest of their kind. Their food source may have been different, but they were still unfeeling, cold-hearted monsters.

And if they ever came back here, they would die.

I grinned as a morbid fantasy played itself out in my mind. Oh how I would enjoy tearing them apart, but for now, I would have to settle for the leech that had been in our area.

_Damn leech!_ Sam's thoughts cut through my own. _If we don't find her soon she's going to kill again._ It was his turn now to go home and get a little rest, while the rest of us searched. He must be exhausted now, after twenty straight hours of watch. And Emily was probably up waiting for him. _So tired..._

I sped up, heading towards his scent, and stopped when I entered a small clearing and saw Sam, pacing about, as though he would fall over if he didn't keep moving. His eyelids looked as though they were about to close and his posture showed just how tired he was. "Hey Sam," I said walking towards him. He could hear my thoughts of course. Our pack really didn't need to talk to eachother, but it felt more natural, so we always did whenever we were withing talking distance. It just made us all feel more comforitable. "Did you find any leads?"

"No," he sighed. "I thought I did for a while there, but it turned out to be another dead end. This one's tricky."

_You'd better be careful, Jacob,_ he thought at me. _I still haven't figured out what she's looking for, but she's definately after something, and like I said, she's really clever. There's no telling what she'll do._

"Don't worry about it, Sam," I answered confidentally. "We'll get her. I don't care how clever she is, she's going down!" I grinned humorlessly. I wanted so baddly to fight her. To pin her cold, dead body to the ground and rip her to shreds for all the people she killed, all the while imagining Edward Cullen's face. I allowed the bloody scene to play in my head while Sam just shook his head at me.

"Jacob, you really need to take this seriously," he scolded irritably. Of course, you tend to get irritated a lot after twenty straight hours with no sleep. "She's not going to be as easy to defeat as you seem to think, and arrogance on our parts is only going to get in the way."

His thoughts went on, lecturing me about how strong vampires were and their super senses, and how some of them even had extra powers. I scowled. We had killed other vampires before. Piece of cake. There were six of us and one of her. What made her so different from the others? Sam growled in response.

"What makes this one different," he answered through gritted teeth, probably impatient with my impertinance. "Is her intelligence. I don't know how, but she's somehow managed to slip through our fingers multiple times, and continues to outsmart us. We've been hunting her for months now, and we aren't any closer to getting her than we were when all of this started. We can't kill her if we can't even find her, and all the while, she continues to feed from right under our noses."

He was right of course. If we couldn't find her, we _couldn't_ kill her, but I couldn't help but think that as soon as we found her, she was toast. I don't care how smart she was, she didn't stand a chance against six fully grown werewolves. We would kick her immortal ass straight to hell where she belonged. "Why don't you go home and get some rest, Sam," I said. It was no use arguing. He was the pack leader, and he was probably right anyway. He usually was, though I was still convinced we'd find her soon, and once we did, would have no problem finishing off the job. "Say hi to Emily for me."

It didn't need much urging to get him to leave, and without another word, he walked off, leaving me to stalk around the forest on my own. I walked randomly around for a while, trying to pick up her scent before deciding to go to to the meadow I'd found Bella in.

My obsession with the place was a bit morbid, but the compulsion to go there carried my feet for me, and before I knew it, I pushing through the trees and into the clearing. It was a moonless night, and had it not been for a werewolve's nightvision, I probably wouldn't even have been able to see well enough to notice the wildflowers that grew all over the place even in September. It was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way, and I really only intended to be there for a moment or so when the wind suddenly picked up and blew in my direction, carrying with it the scent of wildflowers.

Only there was something else mixed in there too. A stronger scent that was so sickly sweet it made me nautious, and caused the hairs on the back of my kneck to stand on end. It was like flowers, sugar and vanilla, only it didn't smell good. It smelled like...

Vampire.

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**This was originally a lot longer, because after the part in Jacob's pov, i had part in bellas and edwards starting where i left off in the last chapter. i decided to make that another chapter though, because its been a looooong time since i updated! btw, i'm REALLLLY sorry about that. so sorry in fact, that i'll probably update later today or tomorrow, and atleast two more times in the next week.**

**please review though. i worked really hard on this chapter. it was really hard, because it was in jacob's pov, and i want to know what you all think. plus, reviews motivate me, and im going to need some major motivation right now. theres this other twilight fanfic site i want to write on, but you have to be submit a story during a certain time period and the site person only lets in so many ppl each time. i feel really dumb right now, cause i checked for the next submission period, like, idk, a month and a half ago, and looked at the dates, but for some reason i thought it was next month instead of this month, and now i only have four days to write and submit a story!!! gaaa! i wish i could just send this one, but unfortunately they don't allow AUs except by special permission, so yeah... i wanted to do twilight from alice's pov, but i don't own the books. i borrowed them from my friend, who lives 4 hrs away from me, since my parents decided to MOVE!!! -grimace- my library is out of ALL six copies, and the ebook site i get to borrow from for free, thru my library, is out too. i have it on hold, but i was the fifth person in line as of two days ago, so i have a loooong time till i get it. oh. and i figured you guys might want to know the**

**VOTING RESULTS:**

**kill jacob: 7 don't kill jake: 9 no vote/dont care: 10 and finally i love jake but i love edward more/hurt him but don't kill him/maybe later depending on what hes like in this story/he shouldn't be in the story at all: 4**

**so i wont be killing jacob. at least not now. maybe later. i'll have another vote after the next chapter or so, cause i know for a lot of you, it depended on what he's like in my story. i tried really hard to make his reaction what i think it would really be considering the circumstances, though i know this chapter was a bit dramatic. it was a clue, really, to what victoria is planning/HOW SHE DID IT. does anyone have any guesses? if you do, personal message me, and IF YOU GET IT RIGHT, I'LL SEND YOU A CHAPTER EARLY!!! ****and btw, ive actually put in quite a few clues as to whats going on. hint hint.**

**REVIEW!!!**

**poe**


	19. Werewolf

**Okay, so its a lot shorter than I had originally planned. I kept changing my mind about how I wanted to do this. I started out doing Bella's PoV, and then I was going to switch to Edward's at the part where this chapter cuts off, but when I started it, I realized I really had to start with the phone call. I realized then it needed to be in Edward's pov, becuase Jacobs thoughts and how edward interprets them makes everyting make more sense. in bellas pov its really only a description of whats going on, what's going thru her mind, and dialogue. not very interesting, and very short. i worked really hard on it tho, and liked it, and at first i had it in here, then it just backtracked a bit with the edward part. it seemed really repetative tho, so i just cut the whole bella section out. if any of you want to read it you can message me and i'll send it, but yeah...i don't really know why you would but w/e. The only real purpose of that section that made me really consider putting it in here anyways was that it shows what bella thinks of jake and the whole situation. i'll just have to figure out a way to show that later cause i don't want to be annoying or redundant.**

**note: i'm sorry if i made any errors. i didn't do any editing after i was done with this chapter, though i was constantly going over it as i wrote it. i just wanted to get it posted tonight like i promised, so you'll just have to excuse them. sry.**

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**Edward's PoV:**

I quickly thanked Alice and snapped my phone shut, slipping it back into my pocket rather that throwing it as I really wanted to. She was wrong though. It _was_ too late. The wolf was already here. I could hear its thoughts, and there was no way we were going to be able to get out of here in time to avoid anything. We would just have to talk to the mutt and try to reason with it. And if that didn't work...well, Alice said there was only going to be one of them. I'm sure I could handle it, and she said as much when I talked to her a few moments ago.

_Damn bloodsucker! I can't believe he came back here! Well he's going to die for it and then I'll kill his little friend._

I stood completely still as fury rippled through me. If he so much as _thought _about hurting Bella, I would kill him in the most painful way imaginable. I would make his final moments so excruciating, he would beg for death. Knowing he was plotting not only my demise, but Bella's as well, made me want to attack him right then and there, but instead I forced myself to remain where I was. Of course, by now he knew that we were aware that something was amiss, but he didn't know that I knew about him. He was blissfully unaware of my mind reading abilities, and that though he was hiding downwind of us, carefully not making a noise, I still knew the adzact location of where he was lurking in the woods to the right of us. I was simply waiting, and hoping to catch some piece of information from his simple mind that might help us get out of this without having to fight.

Bella stood beside me and mirrored my stiff, unmoving stance. She must have known something was wrong, but I hadn't had the chance to fill her in before I sensed the wolf, and I didn't want him to know that we were expecting him. Her eyes kept flicking over to me, waiting for something to happen until finally, after several minutes, the wind switched directions. The werewolf's scent was blown straight at us, and Bella and I snapped our heads over to look in the direction it was coming from.

It was such a disgusting smell. No matter how many times I came into contact with werewolves, it still smelled just as foul as the first time. My instincts kicked in, telling me to kill the mutt. It was one of the strongest impulses I had ever felt. The only thing that had ever been harder to resist was Bella's blood. Knowing that she had never been exposed to a werewolf before, and was probably ready to attack at the moment, I looked over at her to give a warning look. As I had suspected, her irises had turned midnight black, and she stood ready to attack.

The wolf walked towards us, stepping out of the shadows just as I moved to stand protectively in front of Bella. Not seeing the wolf would make it easier for her to keep herself under control, and I didn't want to give the dog any chances to attack. If he wanted to get to her he would have to go through me first, and there was absolutely no chance of that.

_Finally, after all these years I get to kill him. What did Bella ever see in that disgusting leech, anyway? He may be good looking and rich, but she never seemed like the type of girl to be that shallow. Why would she ever want to be with a cold, dead monster like him when she could have been with me._

That threw me for a loop. Whatever I had been expecting, that wasn't it, and I felt my eyes widen in shock. This mutt had known Bella? Then I must have known him too. I looked at him a little closer, searching for some resemblance I could recognize, and that's when it hit me.

Jacob Black.

Jacob Black was a werewolf?! More than that, he seemed to have a personal grudge against me. Being what he was made him automatically and instinctively hate my kind, but from the sound of his thoughts, he had long hoped that I would come back one day just so he could take pleasure in my death. Not that I was afraid of him. He shouldn't be any problem to defeat, and he wasn't allowed to attack me even if he wanted to. My family had a treaty with his people, and unless he was the alpha, which I highly doubted due to his obvious immaturity, he would be forbidden from breaking our agreement. I knew enough about werewolves to know that they were actually incapable of disobeying an order from their leader, and that should they find a way, defiance was punishable by death. He wouldn't dare attack us.

"Cullen," he sneared my name and glared at me with obvious hatred. "I always hoped you'd come back here someday. I'm going to enjoy killing you." A series of images passed through his mind of Bella and I together. I saw him watching her from her kitchen window one of the times he and Billy had come over to warn Charlie against me and my family. She kissed me softly on the lips before stepping out of my car. In another memory, Bella was all dressed up for prom, wearing a giant cast on one of her legs as she stood on my feet and I led her around the dance floor. Even after all these years, the jealousy in his thoughts were apparent. So that was why he hated me so much. He couldn't stand the thought that Bella loved me and not him.

"I see that you turned into a mutt while I was away, Black, but I seriously doubt that." My voice was cold and hostile, and I didn't even bother to hide it. "I assume you do know of the treaty your great-grandfather made with Carlisile and I?"

I was being condescending, and I knew it, but I didn't care. The thoughts he was having of Bella, even now, ten years after she had supposedly died infuriated me. I was provoking him, and doing a good job at that.

"Of course I know of the treaty---" he spat.

"Then you know that you're on our territory, and we're perfectly within our rights to be here," I cut him off.

The wolves were allowed on our territory. My family had never had a problem with that. They weren't, however, allowed to attack us there. Not unless we bit a human or trespassed on theirs first, that is, which of course, we hadn't.

Jacob grinned menacingly as another group of images passed through his mind. Bella's lifeless form hanging from one of the trees that bordered our meadow. Her funeral. Charlie mourning. His pack...furious.

"You didn't honestly think that the treaty still stood after what you and your leach family did the last time you were here, did you? Think again bloodsucker. As if my pack and I would just let you live after you killed that human girl. My grandfather only ever made that treaty with you in the first place becasue he thought you and your coven was different from the rest of the leaches. A horrible mistake on his part. You may feed off of animals, but you're just as cold and unfeeling as the rest of your filthy kind."

Bella, who had been quietly growling every once in a while from behind me, grew louder at the last part of the mutt's little speech, so that I was sure that even he could hear it. It was still so strange for me to think of my sweet little Bella being a vampire. She still seemed quite the same to me, and it was only when she growled or ran with me that I fully realized what she was now. I had always expected that if she were ever changed, I would miss some of her human traits, like her blush, warmth, and the constant, rhythmic sound of her heartbeat. I loved all of those things about her, but I found that I didn't mind at all while I was holding and kissing her like I had never been able to when she was human.

Unfortunately, her becoming a vampire didn't ease my worrying one bit. She was virtually indestructable, and could certainly take care of herself, yet no matter how much I told myself that, everything inside of me screamed to protect her. I didn't even think about it before stepping in front of her just now. I sensed danger, and rather than taking the stance I normally would have before I met her, my body automatically reacted to block her from any possible harm.

"What are you talking about, Black?" I asked. "No one in my family ever killed anyone while we were living here, or broke the treaty in any way." There was no way I was going to let him kill me and justify it to himself by saying he was avenging Bella's death. He could think that to himself if he wanted to, but the truth was that he was jealous of me. He hated me for being the one Bella loved. Especially since I didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve her either, but that never occured to him. All he could think was that he had lost to a dead man who was stupid enough to leave her.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about leech!" He was beyond furious now. Honestly, I was surprised he had so far kept enough control over himself to not morph, though he was shaking enough. "You may not have sucked her blood, but you might as well have after what you did to her. Not that you'd probably even know. Did you ever even bother to call or write? You made her fall in love with you, then you and your family left her here to rot, while you moved on to someone else. Don't think I didn't notice your protective stance in front of that bloodsucker. She's your new mate, isn't she? As far as I'm concerned, you killed Bella Swan, and I'm going to personally make you pay for it."

As if I could ever love anyone the way I love Bella. As if there could ever be anyone else in my life that meant even close to what she meant to me. I would be the first to admit that I wasn't good enough for her, and that leaving her and thinking she would move on with her life was the biggest mistake I had ever made, but there is no way in existance I could ever possibly move on to someone else after Bella. I could never intentionally hurt her, and I would kill myself before I ever left her again.

The wolf and I stared at eachother, hatred buring in each of our eyes. I couldn't say that I ever really liked him as a kid. He had, after all, been one of Bella's admirers, but I had never really disliked him either. He was more of an annoyance than anything else; always the messanger, delivering his father's cryptic warnings and never really taking them seriously. Now, however, he mentally accused me of never having loved Bella in the first place. Of it all merely being a sick game where I seduced an innocent human girl, convinced her that I was in love with her, and left her broken, when any other guy would have killed to have her love him like she loved me.

He said I killed her.

That is, he did before she stepped out from behind me, staring daggers at him and shaking with obvious anger. For a few moments, he ignored her, and refused to acknowledge her existance. Then, slowly, all the while thinking that she was annoying and he would make sure to kill her as well after he was finished with me (boy, did that wolf think highly of himself), he turned to look at her and stopped dead in his tracks. Shock was written all over his face, and his thoughts momentarily froze.

"B-Bella?"

She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "Killed me, did he?" Venom dripped from her voice and she looked at him like he was the most disgusting thing she had ever laid eyes on. Anger filled his eyes and I quickly grabbed for her, just as he lunged for her.

Changing as he went.

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**For those of you who are wondering, yes Jake just attacked Bella. and don't worry jacob fans, I'm not slaughtering his charictor. everything will be explained in the next chapter, which will be the fighting scene. right now im debating myself. should i put it in jake's pov or edward's? i'll get straight to writing it, and will probably be up really late writing it. or should i say really early, so show me the love and review...pleeeeease. i would really appreciate it.**

**poe**


	20. IMPORTANT

**VERY, VERY IMPORTANT:**

**I really hate authors notes, and you guys are going to hate me, but I HAVE to do this. I'm sure some of you who have been reading my story for a long time have noticed that my updates have gotten farther and farther apart. I started out with something new every other day or so, and now its been taking me forever to get out a short, wimpy chapter that isn't even all that well written. I'm really, REALLY sorry for that you guys. I was getting really frustrated with it for a while, and was basically forcing myself to write so it wasn't turning out very good which only got me more frustrated. I thought for a while about possibly leaving this story and letting someone else continue it, but I finally decided not to do that. The only reason I really hate it right now is because I know its not up to my writing potential, and I am my own toughest critic. Aren't we all? **

**Anyway, I'm going to spend the rest of today and maybe part of tomorrow fixing everything so that I like it, and then I'll write you guys several more, long chapters to make it up to you. Don't worry though, because even though I'm going to be basically re-writing a whole bunch of stuff, you wont have to re-read it, because the main story will be the same. It'll all just be written a lot better, and there might be minor changes in dialogue and stuff like that. Of course, you could re-read it if you wanted to, but when I post the next chapters, I'll make sure to inclue a short summery of everything that's happened so far since its been so long since most of you have read this.**

**And please don't review to this authors note, because when I post the new chapter, I'll probably delete this and put it in this chapter, and if you review now, you wont be able to review to that chapter. If you have any questions or you just want to tell me off for being so horrible and making you guys wait so long, you can just personal message me. Or if you don't have an account, my e-mail is I'll be posting SEVERAL chapters in the next few days though, so please try to have some patience. I know how annoying this is, but the whole point of fanfiction is to improve my writing skills, right? And I know my horrible spelling has been bugging some of you, so that'll be out of the way too.**

**I aplogize for the inconvenience, and thank you so much for those of you who continue reading anyway. :) Expect new chapters in the next few days, and I don't know if those of you who have me on story or authors alert will get annoying e-mails when I replace some of the chapters, but if you do, I'm sorry for that. So that you can recognise the new chapter when it comes, it will be called: 'Fight'. **


	21. Fight

**The short Summery I promised:**

**As we all know, when Edward left Bella wandered off into the forest. In my AU, Victoria was there. She saw the whole scene with Edward, but stayed hidden and downwind from them so he wouldn't smell her. He was too distracted and wrapped up in his pain to notice her thoughts. She attacked Bella, saying a lot of cryptic things to her about how she was going to get revenge, and changed her. Ten years later we find out that Bella has been with the Matthews all this time. One of their good friends, Olivia, found her during her change and took her to them. Bella doesn't remember anything from her human life, including her own name, so they call her Buffy (an inside joke). Bella's power is sleep and other strange states, and she uses it to try to remember.**

**One day at school, her family tells her about the new family of vampires that just moved to town, who are also vegitarian. (I always get really annoyed with those stories where Bella just **_**happens**_** to **_**oh so conveniently**_** be changed by another family of vegitarian vampires, even though its really rare, so in my version, it was Bella's idea. That's perfectly reasonable, because though Bella doesn't consciously remember any of her human life, she is constantly unknowingly influenced by it. She drives a silver Volvo. Her room is painted the color blue Edward liked on her and Topaz. In fact, every time she sees a piece of clothing that color blue, she has to buy it.) At school she meets Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie. Edward isn't going to school, but Alice takes her over after.**

**Edward and Bella catch up. She tells him all about her vampire life and he tells her everything he knows about when she was human. The Cullens and Matthews become good friends, and the next day, Bella skipps school to spend time with Edward. He has a surprise for her, and ends up taking her to Forks. After spending some time in their meadow and going to her old house, they head to the high school where Jacob Black shows up. In the last chapter, they had been talking...if you want to call it that, when Bella stepps out from behind Edward to show that she wasn't dead after all. (the entire town of forks thinks she committed suicide after the cullens left.) And there we are...**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

_**Last Time:**_

_**Anger filled his eyes and I quickly grabbed for her just as he lunged.**_

_**Changing as he went.**_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Edward's PoV:**

It all happened so quickly that I almost didn't have time to react, or even register what the mutt was thinking before he was hurtling through the air towards Bella, and I could no longer read his thoughts. I had found out many years ago that much to my inconvenience, my power didn't work on werewolves when they were in their wolf state. Fights were a lot harder when I couldn't predict my opponents next move, but this particular werewolf shouldn't be much of a challenge. Though he must have been in his mid-twenties by now, he still seemed quite immature, and his lack of self control and forethought would be his downfall. He underestimated me. He didn't realize just how powerful I was, and he was impulsive. He didn't think his actions through, attacking Bella being a good example. I would kill him for that.

He was a strange dog. One moment his anger had all been focused on me, as he grieved for Bella's supposed death, and in the instant he saw her, it was replaced with shock, and then a moment later by a blinding fury. I couldn't understand why he was so furious. His thoughts had become muddled in that instant, and he had stopped thinking in words and images as the flashes of pure, untranslated thought that always come with an adrenaline rush and extreme situations took over. The same kind of flashes that sometimes make time appear to move in slow motion or speed up. In that split instant, he let instinct take over, and attacked.

Fear that I had only ever known where Bella was involved crashed over me, and my hand darted out to grab her, pulling her out of the wolf's path just as I stepped into it, taking her place. I heard a surprised gasp come from her throat as she realized what was happening, and I let go of her, reaching up just in time to take hold of the wolf and send him hurling twenty feet.

A deafening snap rang through the air and echoed in the parking lot as a tree collapsed under the impact. I quickly muttered under my breath to Bella, knowing that the mutt's inferior hearing would never be able to pick it up, and told her to stay away from the fight. I knew that she was a vampire now, but a werewolf could hurt her, and I needed to know that she was out of harms way. I would have asked her to go back to the house, but if what the wolf said was really true, and the entire pack really had decided to disregard the treaty, I didn't want her going anywhere alone. Actually, even if the treaty still stood, I wouldn't have wanted her wandering around here without me. The treaty was between the Quiliutes and my family alone, and since the pack didn't exactly know that she was a vampire and with me again, they might have decided to attack her anyway. She bit her lip, nodded once, though reluctantly, and stepped back a bit just as Black was getting slowly to his feet.

If he was tall in his human form, he was massive as a wolf. His enormous form would tower over even me, and his russet colored fir stood on end as he sent me a menacing growl. I matched it with one of my own and crouched down, ready to spring as he bolted toward me. Looking straight into his wild eyes (a sign in the animal world of aggressiveness) I jumped, just as he did so that we collided in the air. A sound like rolling thunder rang through the night, and we fell to the ground, but I paid no attention as I pulled my arm back to punch him.

I hit him square in the nose (the most sensitive place for a member of the canine family) and he yelped in pain before lifting a massive paw to tear me open. There was no time to get away, so the best I could do to defend myself was raise an arm to block my chest, taking the blow instead. His savage claws ripped easily through my rock hard skin and I backed away quickly to allow myself time to heal. Luckily, it only takes a few moments. Unfortunately, werewolves heal just as quickly, and while I gave my arm time to repair, the wolf was able to recover from my blow to his nose.

Within a moment we were at it again, rolling around on the ground and hurting each other in any way possible. The mutt was trying desperately to tear me apart, but it was no use. He was at the disadvantage, for while werewolves are as strong and fast as vampires, and heal just as quickly, they are easier to injure. It's possible, sure, for a werewolf to kill a vampire, but only by tearing them to pieces and burning them. A werewolf, however, can be killed in any way a human can, though it takes a significant amount more force. I could tear him apart, like he was trying to do to me, or I could smash his head in, tear out any one of his vital organs, or drain him of blood, though the idea of his repugnant stench being that concentrated and open near me was horrifying, so I put that thought out of my mind.

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**Bella's PoV:**

It was horrible. Edward and the dog were rolling around on the ground punching, biting and tearing at each other in a grewsome, all out battle. There was no doubt in my mind that before this was over, one of them would be dead, and I could only hope that it was the wolf. I don't know what I would do if I were to lose Edward now.

He did seem to be winning though. The disgusting creature had barely managed to leave a mark on him, though Edward continued to throw it around as if it were nothing. A few times he had torn at it's skin, ripping it open much to my disgust. The stench was almost unbearable, and made it only that much more difficult to stay away from the fight as Edward had asked. I knew he was only trying to protect me, and he was surely doing a much better job at fighting the wolf off than I could have, but every instinct in my body told me to jump in there and do everything I could to kill it. The only thing that stopped me was knowing how much harder it would be for Edward to fight if he was also worried about protecting me. Edward could take care of himself. Still, every time I saw the mutt take a snap at him, I cringed in horror and suppressed a growl.

I watched anxiously as Edward tore giant gashes along the mutt's chest, sending it howling in pain, and when it retaliated by breaking one of Edward's arms. Furious, and using his pain to fuel him, Edward pulled his arm back only to send his fist crashing into the dogs muzzle over and over again. It yelped, but couldn't stop Edward until several moments later when it finally managed to throw him off of him and about four feet away.

They both quickly scrambled to their feet and ran towards each other. The mutt grabbed Edward's fist just as it was about to collide with his face, and twisted it around behind his back, using it as leverage before throwing him into one of the hard, brick buildings of the school. I felt my eyes grow wide as Edward slammed into it, making a large, vampire shaped indent. I could tell that he wasn't hurt by the way he immediately got up and dusted himself off, but instead of going after him, the dog turned and came for me.

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**Edward's PoV:**

I jumped up immediately and began to quickly brush some of the rubble from my body...Then I saw it.

Jacob Black was airborne and about to crash into Bella. He was attacking her! And this time I wasn't there to pull her out of the way. Anything I may have been thinking at the moment was quickly pushed from my mind, and my vision was completely shut off except for the tiny little space that Bella and the mutt were occupying. The only time I had ever come close to being this afraid was when I found out that Bella had gone to meet James and I thought that I was too late, and never had I felt so furious. I saw everything as if through a tunnel as I ran full speed toward them. It didn't even register in my mind until a moment later that Bella had crouched down and attacked him right back.

I pulled him away from her and threw him across the parking lot again, and it was only then that I realized what I had just seen. My Bella, sweet, innocent, nonviolent Bella, had been fighting the wolf, and winning! He hadn't even managed to so much as scratch feebly at her, while he was a total mess. Both of his arms were broken, and one was hanging at an odd angle. I could see blood matted to his fur where she had torn right through his skin, and I was sure I'd seen her get a few good punches in there, too.

I probably would have stood there gaping had I not still been so furious with the mutt. I was angry before, but the moment he threw me aside and went for Bella, I was beyond livid, and I wasn't holding back anything now. As a vampire, I had always been strong, but something within me snapped, and suddenly a hidden storage of energy broke loose, making me infinitely more powerful than I ever could have imagined being.

I rushed across the parking lot to where Jacob Black had fallen in a heap after I threw him into a tree. In a moment, I had grabbed him by the shoulders, pushed him harshly against the tree paying no attention to his massive size, and began pounding my fist into his face. He never stood a chance. I think the loss of blood was too much for him though, because I had barely even started when he suddenly changed back into a man. As much as I wanted to continue beating him, he was unconscious, and besides, I could hear something moving quickly towards us in the forest. And that something was moving so fast it could only have been another vampire or a werewolf.

I moved swiftly to stand in front of Bella, protecting her from whatever was coming. She had made it clear a few moments ago that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but the instinct to shield her from possible harm would always be there. We waited silently, neither of us so much as breathing as we watched the edge of the forest for any new arrivals.

Every one of my senses were acutely aware. I heard the wind as it hit each leaf. The scurrying of little animals, and the larger ones farther away. My nose easily picked apart the scents that assaulted me. Redwood. Douglass Fir. Ferns. Squirrels. The list went on and on. I listened with my mind, trying to hear a voice, and then I knew who it was...

I breathed a sigh of relief as Basil, Bella's brother for the last ten years, stepped out of the brush.

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**Wouldn't it be horrible if I ended it here? Heheheh! I would have too, if I hadn't promised you guys a nice, long chapter...and gotten some really wonderful reviews. I swear, sometimes that's all that keeps me from being really evil... Oh and FYI, if the Matthews accidentally call Bella Buffy sometimes, I did that on purpose. I honestly think that if you'd been calling someone one thing for ten years, it would take you a bit more than a few hours to get used to calling them something else. and it wouldn't be unreasonable to mess up every now and again...Thats all :) Enjoy!**

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I heard Bella let out the breath she had been holding from behind me as we walked towards an anxious looking Basil. His eyes were a deep honey color, and I could tell that he had recently hunted as his eyes flicked nervously around. It was as if he expected something to jump out at us at any moment, but when we finally reached each other, he relaxed enough to pull Bella into a hug.

"Damn, Buffy! I've never known anyone to get into as much trouble as you somehow manage to on a regular basis." His mind was reeling with the things he had been thinking when Alice told him and the rest of the family what she had seen. The poor guy had been so worried, and I suddenly felt an enormous fondness for Bella's other family. They really cared about her, and from what I could see from his thoughts, they had all rushed out here with my family as soon as they found out. "And from what I hear from the Cullens, you were even worse as a human!"

I chuckled darkly. He had no idea. When she wasn't falling over air or down a set of stairs she was being hunted by evil vampires and creepy men in dark allies.

"C'mon," he motioned to us after he pulled away from Bella. "I got here first since I was already out hunting, and only a few towns away from here, but the others are on their way. They should be getting into town any minute now, and we're supposed to all meet up at your house here."

I nodded and Bella smiled, and we all took off running.

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**Bella's PoV:**

Edward, Basil and I took off running for the mansion to meet our families when Edward turned to me and started talking.

"We'll have to get everything we brought with us together quickly when we get there." I gave him a questioning look and he continued. "It won't be long before the mutt wakes up and alerts the rest of his pack. It'll be all out war if we're still in the area, and while we definitely have the advantage with so many of us, I'd rather avoid that if I can."

"But what about the treaty," I asked. "I was under the impression that it was just that one werewolf who was going against it. I mean, I could tell there was a personal grudge there from the way you guys were acting. Do you really think the entire pack will come after us just because one stupid mutt lost his temper and we defended ourselves?"

"That was Jacob Black," Edward tried to explain to me. "His father, Billy Black, is sort of the unofficial leader of the Quilieute tribe, or at least he was when we were here ten years ago. He wasn't the healthiest man, but he wasn't old either. The mutt's great-grandfather was the tribe leader the first time Carlisile and I came here, and was the one who made the treaty with us."

Basil and I listened carefully, trying to understand exactly why this was happening, and how serious it was. "As I'm sure you surmised from our conversation earlier, you knew Black as a human. Billy was your fathers best friend and fishing buddy so you knew him vaguely as a kid and were re-introduced to him when you moved here. He's the one I told you about. The one who told you what we were, though at the time he thought they were only silly myths."

Understanding flicked on in my mind. "Oooooh!" I said. "So he knew me when I was human, and blamed you for my suicide. He thought I killed myself because you left."

"Well, in all fairness, that is what the whole town thinks, and trust me, he doesn't think that anymore."

"Well, obviously," Basil rolled his eyes. "He did just see her. That must have been a shock to his system." he chuckled humorlessly. "What exactly does he think now?"

Edward grinned darkly. "He thinks the whole thing was planned. Bella wanted to become one of us, that much he had right. But he thinks that we agreed to do it, and faked her suicide to make things easier." He began speaking to Basil, then turned to me as he continued.

"We would have had to move if we had changed you. If anyone who knew you saw you, they would have noticed the differences, and anyway you wouldn't have been able to be around humans for a while. It could have taken years for you to master the control enough to go back to school, it all depends on the vampire, and that never would have worked with us still living in Forks.

I nodded to show him I understood, and waited for him to go on.

"Also, if we had changed you in this area there would have been war between us and the wolves. The treaty says that we're not allowed to bite a human, and that's exactly what one of us would have had to do.

"Obviously it would have looked suspicious if you 'died' and my family disappeared a week later, but if we just took you with us without faking your death, people might suspect we kidnapped you, and they never would have stopped hunting us down. So Black thinks we made it look like you killed yourself because we left, and played off the town's grief so that no one would think to suspect anything. That's why he lost control like that. He hated you for making everyone think you killed yourself, causing all that pain and guilt, when it turned out you were one of us all along."

I didn't know what to say. I don't remember my human life, but I'm sure I such a thing would never have crossed my mind. I hated the thought of hurting anybody, and I'm sure I must have been the same way before I was changed. If he really knew me before, and we were really friends, how could he think I would do something like that? How could he think I would intentionally hurt all those people that way? If I had been changed on my own terms, which I was becoming more and more certain hadn't been the case as I learned more about my life, I would have faked a car crash or something like that. I would have made it look like an accident.

"So what your saying," I asked slowly. "Is that now they think we broke the treaty first?"

"Exactly," Edward confirmed. "And they will attack if they get the chance."

A few seconds later, we reached the house and quickly tore through it looking for anything we had brought this time as well as anything important that the Cullens had left behind the last time they were here. "We probably won't be able to come back here for a long time now. If there's one thing I've learned about this tribe its that they have a long memory." Edward and I grabbed the last of the stuff we would be taking with us, and headed out to the Volvo one last time. As soon as the rest of the Cullens and Matthews arrived, we would be out of there.

But when Edward and I walked out the front door and onto the porch on our way to the car, we stopped dead in our tracks. Standing just in front of the house, spread out with about five feet between each of them, were six large men. Six men who turned into wolves. Jacob Black stood second from the right, glaring and shaking. "Get ready to die, bloodsuckers!"

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**You wanna know a secret? I very nearly left it there too...such a nice cliffy. You'd better love me! hehe. and review, please, 'cause I was uncharictoristically nice.**

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**Edward's PoV:**

For the second time that night, I found myself pushing Bella behind me and fighting to keep my voice calm as I talked to a mutt. This time however, I directed my voice at the leader. I could pick him out immediately by the look of authority he carried with himself, even before delving into the dogs' minds. Hopefully he would be more reasonable than Black.

"To what do we owe this visit," I asked though I knew perfectly well why they were here. "We still haven't violated the treaty in any way, as I reminded Black earlier this evening."

"Filthy bloodsucker! Of course you did!"

"Quiet Jake," the leader reprimanded. I was fairly certain his name was Sam, judging from the other' thoughts. "I believe that's Bella Swan behind you, Cullen, and unless I'm very much mistaken, she's one of you now."

"Yes it is, and yes she is," I replied confidently. "However, no one in my family bit her, so the treaty still stands."

"Liar," Jacob hissed. "You don't actually expect us to believe that garbage, do you? That she just happened to be attacked but not killed the day you leeches left town? That somehow, a body that looked remarkably like Bella's was found hanging from a tree with a suicide note? That some random bloodsucker was travelling through town, happened across Bella, changed her, and faked her death? I don't think so."

"Just how stupid do you think we are, leech?" growled another man I didn't recognize. He was shaking uncontrollably, and I could tell he was on the verge of morphing.

"Calm down Paul," Sam commanded. Paul immediately stopped shaking, though he was still shooting us daggers with his eyes. I think he was about to say something more when Basil stepped out the front door and onto the porch crossing his arms and leering at the wolves.

"Well I happen to know for a fact that none of the Cullens changed..." he paused before saying her name, probably stopping him from calling her Buffy as he was accustomed to. "Bella."

"Oh yeah," one of the other wolves sneered. "And how would that be?"

"Well, if one of the Cullens had changed her, I think she probably would have spent the last ten years with them, don't you? Yet instead she was with my family, and never even saw the Cullens until yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Yet another mutt questioned incredulously. "Forgive me for quoting Paul, but just how stupid do you think we are?"

Basil acted as though he hadn't heard him, and continued his explanation. "A close friend of our family found her in the woods in the middle of her change about ten years ago and brought her to us. When she woke up she didn't remember anything, so we really couldn't help you with how someone managed to make it look like a suicide, but the Cullens only transferred into the school we're attending yesterday, and that's when we found out who Bella was."

"C'mon Sam, this is getting ridiculous," Paul cut in. "Lets just kill them already." I was really starting to hate that particular mutt. He and Black were definitely getting on my nerves, but at least I could understand Black's reason's for wanting to kill us. He felt betrayed.

I turned to look at Sam, though I could already hear the resolution in his thoughts. I moved myself into a crouching position, still situated in front of Bella just as six werewolves changed forms right before our eyes.

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**I know that this chapter isn't very good as far as my writing goes. In fact, I think its the worst as far as flow, but I'll just have to fix it later, when I finish fixing the rest of my story. No, I haven't finished editing it yet. When I read over it, I found even more that I didn't like than I would have expected, so really, I'm not even close to finished yet. That's why I decided to write this for you guys now anyway. It wouldn't be fair to make you wait any longer when I thought I would finish soon and promised you long and soon. I think this chapter was pretty long though.**

**IMPORTANT:**

**As i'm sure all of you know, Harry Potter 7 comes out it less than a week now, and since I am completely obsessed with those books, it will now be consuming my life. I have already started what I call "my harry potter mania" which i basically do before each new book comes out. I spend a few days doing close to nothing but reading all day so that I've finished all the previous books before the new one comes out. I started it yesterday, and I probably wont be spending much time on this until about a week and two days after the book comes out. (2 days to read it, and 1 week to cry inconsolably because harry potter is over -cries hysterically-) I WILL HOWEVER SPEND A LITTLE WHILE ON THIS EVERY NIGHT!!! And the more reviews I get, the longer I spend, though I still dont think any amount of reviews will make my fanfiction time exceed 3 or 4 hours.**

**oh yeah...and the reviews are the difference between me spending that time editing what I already have, and writing something new, though I promise to spend at least a little while every day on the next chapter...**

**I plan on spending one more chapter on Jacob and the wolves, and then we'll get to the good stuff!! Victoria!**

**Poe**


	22. Battle

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**Edward's PoV:**

I tried to conceal my panic so that the wolves wouldn't notice and see it as a weakness, but I honestly didn't see how we were going to get out of this alive if my family and the Matthews didn't show up soon. Until they did, it was a two on one fight, and how was I supposed to fight that many full-grown werewolves and protect Bella at the same time? I knew from a few minutes ago, when she fought Black back in the high school parking lot, that she was pretty good at taking care of herself, but this time she would be fighting two dogs, and I didn't want to take any chances with her. She was far too precious to be battling mangy mutts.

The leader, Sam, had been my last hope. He was, as I had expected, far more reasonable and mature than Jacob Black, but he had a werewolves instincts just as the others did, and those instincts told him to kill us. The only thing that held him back from attacking the moment he saw us was the treaty, and being the leader of the pack, he felt obligated to at least listen to our story and determine wether or not we had given them reason to kill us. We told him, of course that we had never broken the treaty, but even I would admit that had I heard this story from someone else, I would never have believed it. It all seemed too far fetched and ridiculous, and he agreed with the others that we were lying. Black's story made much more sense, and now that he thought of it, he couldn't believe that he had never made the connection. In his mind, changing Bella into one of us, his most hated enemies, was worse than if I had slipped up and drank from a human. Now she, like the rest of my kind, was a danger to the human race, and one more "bloodsucker" he had to worry about. He had no choice, he thought, but to kill us.

Six massive wolves leapt towards us. Being able to communicate with each other in their minds gave them an advantage, and the leader quickly delegated which wolf was to take which vampire, so that there were exactly two on each of us. Sam and one of the others I didn't recognize jumped at me, while Jacob and Paul attacked Bella and the remaining two wolves went after Basil.

They didn't waste any time trying to hit or throw us, and attempted straight away to rip us apart, giving me the odd suspicion that they had done this before. We must not have been the first vampires they've attacked. In fact, they all seemed to know exactly what they were doing. Fighting two of them, I didn't have time to make any offensive moves, and it was all I could do just to block their constant attacks. Basil seemed to be in the same predicament that I was in, but Bella, I was happy to say, was doing very well for herself. She couldn't do much other than protecting herself either,but she had somehow managed to slip in a few punches and swipes at them as well. Blood was streaming from Black's nose, and thick gashes ran down Paul's back.

Somehow we managed to hold them off for the five minutes it took our family to arrive, and I breathed a massive sigh of relief when I heard their worried, frantic thoughts coming closer and closer. Two cars flew up the driveway at what appeared to be at least a hundred miles an hour, and had hardly even come to a complete stop before nine murderous vampires leapt out and came towards us. Carlisile, Esme, Evangeline and Roan jumped out of the first car with Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Holly close behind in the second. Suddenly the tables were turned. There were two of us for every one of them.

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**ITS REALLY IMPORTANT YOU READ ATLEAST THESE FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS!!!!!**

**I'm not going to write the rest of the battle. I personally think its all really boring and repetitive, and I know that whenever I come to a battle scene in a fanfiction, I pretty much just scan over it and wait for it to be over...you guys got the basic gyst, so I'll just tell you what happens after that. (plus its after four in the morning, and anything I wrote now would be complete and horrific rubblish that would probably burn your eyes if you attempted to read it.)**

**Of course the wolves didn't stand a chance, but the Cullens and Matthews didn't kill them because they really don't have a grudge, and were merely trying to protect their family members. There was a fight, the wolves ran off and everyone went home.**

**EXPLANATION:**

**now, everyone's been commenting on Jacob and Sam, so I figured I'd better explain myself. **

**I think I explained Sams pov pretty well up in one of the paragraphs in this chapter. He doesn't believe their story, because, c'mon, it is really far fetched. It makes much more sense that Bella, being in love with Edward, wanted to be changed and they agreed to it. Obviously, the treaty was in the way. They weren't allowed to bite a human, even to change them, and they would have had to leave Forks anyway because once Bella was changed they couldn't possibly stay there. Anyone who knew her would be sure to notice that she looked and sounded different. Plus, she wouldn't have been able to be around anyone for a while while she learned control. It would have been far too suspicious, and in the end, they would have to fake her death. Everyone would have noticed, however, if Bella 'died' and then the Cullens suddenly left town, so the story that they left her, and she committed suicide because of it, seemed like a good cover story.**

**So in Sam's mind, the Cullens broke the treaty. They made yet another enimy that his pack had to worry about, and if they were willing to break their deal and hide it from them, how could he possibly know that they weren't willing to break the agreement in other ways. He no longer trusted them, and thought that by changing Bella, the Cullens had made themselves like any other vampires to the Quiliutes, and any other vampire in the area would have been hunted and killed. To add to things, they had knocked one of his pack members unconscious. Of course, when Jacob told him what happened back in the parking lot his account was twisted. Jake wasn't intentionally lying, but in his mind it was Bella and Edward's fault. Doesn't everyone always think its the other person's fault in a fight?**

**Now for Jake...What you all have to remember is that in my story, Jake and Bella were never really friends. Most of New Moon never happened, so they only just barely knew eachother. They had met when they were kids of course, though neither of them realy remembers it, and at the beach, a few times when Jacob went over to Bella's with Billy, and at the prom. he was sad all that time about Bella's death because he thought she committed suicide. a lot of people who knew someone who committed suicide in high school react with the same saddness and grief, wondering if they could have made a difference by being there. When he realized that bella was in fact a vampire, however, he felt betrayed and angry. he was furious that she would be selfish enough to allow everyone else to carry that pain, and to top things off, his instincts made him hate her even more. hes angry that he wasted that emotion on her, and we can all see from new moon that jake is really unreasonable towards the cullens...if he and bella had never been best friends, i don't think its far fetched to think he would react like this. notice, Im not making him a hateful charictor...he has his reasons for thinking and feeling the way he does.**

**sorry if my explanations dont make much sense now, or just aren't very convincing...its 4:30...give me a break. My thouhts are hardly coherant, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything other than harry potter, which I've been reading non-stop all day...(I somehow managed to get really far behind schedual yesterday...hehe)**

**A very special thank you to my regular reviewers:**

**edwardslady310, Enpowerswan, ouiplanete, ilovejoe15, ZOMADCRAZZYOX, chilliepeppers, anna, Vampiregal22, Alenor Peredhel, Kristiemuggins, & um...wait, I know this one**

**It would be nice, I suppose. if you guys reviewed for me, but i would totally understand if you didnt want to because this chapter was really short and not at all extrordinary.**


	23. VERY IMPORTANTTRUST ME!

I'm sure you all hate authors notes as much as I do, but I thought it was really important to let you guys know why I haven't updated in such a long time. For reason's I'm not going to go into (its a long story) my mom and I don't get along, and rather than deal with her problems like a rational and mature human being, she likes to take everything out on me, my dad, and sometimes my brothers and sister. So, my dad, brother and I got kicked out and I don't have access to a computer except when I come to the public library, and my library only lets each person on for an hour a day. Even more unfortunately, I had been stock-piling chapters for this story on my home computer, so that I could give you a chapter a day until it was finished, but now I don't have any of that. Basically, I'm going to have to re-write the several chapters I had finished, type them up here when I get the chance, and then post them. I'm really, terribly sorry. I'm going to try coming here every day or so, and hopefully I'll have an update or two for you in the next week. Luckily I type fast! XD

Poe


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